Frequently Asked Questions

*Now with answers!*

Due to the fact that we interact with the ignorant public we get several questions that aren't real Ask A Guru questions, but in fact, questions about Ask A Guru. To field the more general questions about us, this page has been created. Some of these questions aren't actually that frequently asked, but we're not changing the page's title, so deal with it. Each question is answered from a guru's perspective and from TheAlmightyGuru's perspective.

Question: Why haven't you answered my question yet, do you hate me?

Guru Answer: Yes! We hate you with every fiber of our beings you pathetic wretch! In fact we hope you die a horrible painful and prolonged death! You don't deserve the answers that we could give you!

Almighty Answer: There are a few reasons why I may not have answered your question yet.

1.) Your question is too boring to interest me enough to bother researching it. Questions like "What type of cardboard box best fits my stereo?" will most likely go unanswered.

2.) Your question is too vague, or contains opinion-style answers. For example, "What's god like?" or "What is my favorite color?"

3.) Your question is just plain impossible. "Explain to me a working theory of cold fusion and quantum gravity."

4.) I just haven't gotten to it yet. I do this for fun, not to help you with your chemistry homework, so I may not be in the mood to do the research right now.

Question: How often do you answer questions?

Guru Answer: Whenever we feel like it. Get over it.

Almighty Answer: Yeah, pretty much whenever I'm in the mood for doing some research on a new topic. I have a life, so I'm not going to do them every day, but I try to get a few each month.

Question: How many people do you have answering these questions?

Guru Answer: At any given time our think tank of gurus ranges from 50-100. TheAlmightyGuru has a tendency to smite those who don't give answers quick enough which tends to drop our count at times. He's a very malevolent master.

Almighty Answer: What, you think it takes more than just my awesome brain to answer these questions? It's just me, and will most likely always be just me.

Question: Do you really know the answer to all these questions, or do you look them up first?

Guru Answer: Look them up? Please! Our combined IQ is a number greater than you could possibly fathom! Look them up indeed! You want proof? Take a look at this!

Almighty Answer: Of course I look them up. I'm only human. A sexy, strong, wise, and humble human, but human none-the-less.

Question: What do you get out of answering questions?

Guru Answer: With the amazing intellectual prowess we possess, we demand a constant supply of difficult questions in order to allow us to sleep at night.

Almighty Answer: Actually, I do this because I have a passion for learning. I love finding out the answer to all of life's important (and not so important) riddles. I also like giving little quips to make the answers less boring. What does that say about me? I'm a nerd!

Question: Wow, this site is so cool, how do I link to it so all my friends can see it?

Guru Answer: That's right, you know you want to.

Almighty Answer: If you would like to honor me with a link, the link button to the right is our official link graphic. Please save a copy on your own page instead of linking directly to it. Or link directly to it, what do I care?

And that is how we do that.