Chuck Norris Facts

Where would we be in life without Chuck Norris facts? Here are my top ten favorite ones.

1.) Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.

2.) Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.

3.) Rather than being birthed like a normal child, Chuck Norris instead decided to punch his way out of his mother's womb. Shortly thereafter he grew a beard.

4.) Chuck Norris has two speeds. Walk, and Kill.

5.) Since 1940, the year Chuck Norris was born, roundhouse kick related deaths have increased 13,000 percent.

6.) Chuck Norris can divide by zero.

7.) There is no chin behind Chuck Norris' beard. There is only another fist.

8.) Chuck Norris didn't "lose" his virginity. He stalked it and destroyed it with extreme prejudice.

9.) The chief export of Chuck Norris is pain.

10.) Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.

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