Michigan Temperatures

This has been circulating on the Internet for awhile with different states in use, but I'm from Michigan, so I'm posting the Michigan version, get used to it. I have no idea who created this, but it sure wasn't me. Regardless it's quite funny.

At +70 - Texans turn on the heat and unpack the thermal underwear.
People in Michigan go swimming in the Lakes.

At +60 - North Carolinians start turning on the heat.
People in Michigan plant gardens.

At +50 - Californians shiver uncontrollably.
People in Michigan sunbathe.

At +40 - Italian and English cars won't start.
People in Michigan drive with the windows down.

At +30 - Distilled water freezes.
Lake Superior's water gets thicker.

At +20 - Floridians don coats, thermal underwear, gloves, and woolly hats.
People in Michigan throw on a flannel shirt.

At +15 - Philadelphia landlords finally turn up the heat.
People in Michigan have the last cookout before it gets cold.

At 0 - People in Miami begin freezing to death...
Michiganders lick the flagpole.

At -20 - Californians evacuate to Mexico.
People in Michigan get out their winter coats.

At -40 - Hollywood disintegrates.
The Girl Scouts in Michigan are selling cookies door to door.

At -60 - Polar bears begin to evacuate the Arctic.
Michigan Boy Scouts postpone "Winter Survival" classes until it gets cold enough.

At -80 - Mt. St. Helens freezes.
People in Michigan rent some videos.

At -100 - Santa Claus abandons the North Pole.
Michiganders get frustrated because they can't thaw the keg.

At -297 - Microbial life no longer survives on dairy products.
Cows in Michigan complain about farmers with cold hands.

At -459.69 - ALL atomic motion stops (absolute zero in the Kelvin scale).
People in Michigan start saying, "Cold 'nuff for ya?"

At -500 - Hell freezes over.
The Lions win the Super Bowl!