Rambling 3

The problem with discrimination is that some people don't get included in the discrimination process, and as we all know, processing is what is done to cheese. It's also pasteurized, but really, who cares about that anyway? I suppose the pastures do. Cows live in pastures sometimes, but pink alligators do not. Unless they dress up like a cow with big udders. I once had a dream that a giant udder was yelling at me and shooting me with milk. When I woke up I found myself in Tijuana, Mexico talking to a piņata named Stan. Stan was a good piņata. He talked about how brutal children smash him with clubs until his internal organs spray out on the pavement, and then they eat them. I think he was a little bitter about it, but you know how piņatas can be. Speaking of piņatas, I once went sailing on a big lake. There was water and stuff. Oddly enough, the boat was not made out of cereal. I guess that's a good thing because if it had been then the fish might try to eat it. Fish are really fond of Captain Crunch, but he cuts up the inside of their mouths because he's so sharp. But not sharp like a smart person, sharp like a pointy thing used for cutting, stabbing, and lacerating. If I was a laceration I think I'd dress more formal, because people expect more out of lacerations. I'm not sure why though, it must have something to do with the human bladder. The bladder is an amazing thing. One day it wants to fill itself, the other it wants to pop like a balloon. I don't suggest using your bladder in a water balloon fight because if it pops you'll be out of bladders unless you get someone else's. The problem with that is trying to find a farmer willing to give his up. Farmers are greedy like that, especially bladder farmers. If I was a farmer I would grow money. Then, when somebody tells me that money doesn't grow on trees I can tell them that it does at my farm! That might offend some people though because most people don't like to be wrong, especially when it comes to botany. Botany is really exciting when you think about it. However, if you stop thinking about it it stops being exciting and becomes down right dull. This has something to do with interstellar travel, but I'm not sure what exactly. Ask a goat, they'll tell you. Speaking of iron ore, I once lived in Russia. Not the cold part that you see in movies, but the nice part where it rains candy and love and everyone talks in musical tones about sunbeams and rainbows. That place is near Moscow. They don't have as many cows in Moscow as you would expect. I mean, honestly, they call the place Moscow, and then don't put enough cows there. What were they thinking? It wasn't cows, that's for sure! I'm not sure, because I don't use Sure deodorant. I do use deodorant, but not Sure. It sure can be confusing when someone asks you if you're sure because you don't know if they're referring to deodorant or not. This play on words has started many wars and has caused the death of thousands of innocent plastic tubes. Most people don't ever think about the plastic tubes who gave their lack of life back in the Sweat Wars of '82. They were going to build a memorial awhile back, but they couldn't get the funding from the government. Typical government, you can never expect them to hand out money for important stuff. They always want to spend it on making people's lives better or some such nonsense. Nonsense is good stuff. People have too many senses anyway, so it's nice to remove them every so often and ship them to Cambodia for a nice weekend getaway. From what the dolphins tell me Cambodia is really nice this time of year. However, during other times of the year there is nothing but fiery hail and flesh-eating coffeepots. And when those coffeepots get mad, you best just look out! They can be so unpredictable sometimes, just like other things that aren't predictable, but I'm having a hard time thinking of any because I'm under so much pressure to come up with one.