Women's Fashions That Piss Me Off

Sometimes women look drop-dead gorgeous. Sometimes they wear sexy clothes with cute little accessories, and all the guys drool all over them. Other times, they wear something in the following list. These fashions piss me off! They're ugly, lame, and completely unpractical. If you have anything in this list you would do well to trash it. Don't even give it to Goodwill you'll make the homeless people look as stupid as you. Anyway, without further ado, the women's fashions that piss me off.

Capri pants

They're shorts, they're pants, they're both! No, they're ugly and worthless. Shorts, pants, for crying out loud, pick one! I know women are indecisive, but honestly. Do you seriously need an intermediate length for leg wear? Is it a little too hot for pants, but not quite warm enough for shorts? It's one or the other ladies, otherwise you just waiting for the next flood. The only statement of fashion here is "please help me, for I don't know how to dress practically!"

Foam Baseball Caps

Especially the lame pink ones with stupid sayings. Sure, if you're on a softball team or something, good for you, but the women who wear this putrid headgear don't know the difference between a slapshot and a shuttlecock (sorry, I just like saying shuttlecock). I'm sure you, with your sparkily manicured artificial nails, have ever picked up a baseball in your life. Right.

Hooded Shirts

This is why women can't be trusted to buy clothes... Brr, this frozen tundra sure is cold. Uh-oh, the icy chill of hypothermia is setting on. Luckily, I have a hood on my paper-thin cotton shirt. A hood? Come on, who are you trying to fool? It's as if someone took an ordinary cotton shirt and a hoodie and performed some sick and twisted experiment to do a Frankenstien's monster on the poor clothes. If you need a hood, buy a hoodie, if you need a shirt, buy a shirt. It's not that difficult. You're like those morons that walk around in a winter coat while wearing shorts.

Huge Sunglasses

Guys that wear huge aviator frames look stupid enough, but women who wear them look like huge walking blabbering insects. Your eyes are not four inches across, why are your sunglasses? Everytime I see one of these freaks of nature I want to smack them in the face with a flyswatter. Who do you think you are, Sir Elton John?

Velour Suits

Why must you wear a jogging suit when it's quite obvious that you don't jog. We hated seeing your huge cottage cheese thighs through jeans, but at least they were never in 3D IMAX extreme close-up the way this clinging spandex is. Nice panty line, by the way. Ever heard of a thong? The worst part is when women think it's okay to wear this crap outside of the gym and think it's fashionable. They're glorified sweatpants you idiots.

Cropped Jackets

Another reason why women shouldn't be allowed to pick their own clothes. When a guy sees a jacket that's cut in half, we call it a rip-off. Women, on the other hand, will cheerfully pay twice as much for them. The worthless thing stops halfway down your body! Sure my waist is frozen solid, but the tops of my shoulders are nice and toasty so it's a bargain! Yeah, that's practical.

Tye-dye Animal Shirts

Nothing screams, "I've never seen a city in my life," like these fashion abominations. Everything else in this list at least has the shame of having been popular at one point. These wretched tops are only popular on grandmas who don't have the guts to throw away that crappy gift their grandkids bought them while at a tourist trap in Fort Lauderdale. They're ugly, they're out of style, in fact, they never were in style! If you own one, do yourself a favor and burn it!