February, 2008

And with queens I've à la carted...

Feeling: Excited


Today is a leap year, which is just another reminder of how awful our calendar system is.

The very first issue of my online magazine, Cerebral Seepage, is complete. For those of you who have been keeping up with the drafts, you'll notice some minor changes from the previous. I've also taken the old drafts offline, now that the completed version is up. I've ordered a color print version of the magazine from lulu.com and when I get it I'll let you know what it looks like. If you also plan on ordering a hardcopy, I would suggest waiting until I get mine first, so I can make sure everything printed properly.

I ran out of flossers a few days ago so I've been forced to use the old string floss in the mornings. I never realized how amazingly convenient flossers are. String floss sucks.

I'm heading down to Vicksburg to visit an old ren faire buddy this weekend. See you all on Monday.

And I come on like a freak show takes the stage

Feeling: Accomplished


I've added several more updates to Space Cowboy. Both the player and the enemies have slowly regenerating shields. There is armor, adjustable gauges, slightly more intelligent AI, and a couple other advances. I still have several more in the works for the next release.

I went to dinner last night and the server took one look at me, told me it was good to see me again, and then asked if I wanted the same order of iced tea and pasta that I got last time. This was really amazing for two reasons. First, I've only had this sever once before, so he didn't know me very well, yet still remembered my face and order. Second, and certainly the most impressive, I haven't eaten at that restaurant in about three months. It took me awhile to think back and remember that he was indeed right about my order. It astounds me at how well the server has conditioned his memory to retain even such trivial information.

More DDR is required.

Some girls are born to make you cry

Feeling: Happy


In April I'm heading down to visit my friend Kimberly in Oklahoma City, MO. I just order my plane tickets today. 6:30 AM boarding time... ugh!

Keep a watch on shirt.woot.com for cheap shirts that change daily.

I'm heading out to the arcade to get some DDR in tonight. Ciao.

Last night a little angel came pumpin' cross my floor

Feeling: Accomplished


I spent several hours last night working on Space Cowboy. I hope to have the next update before the end of the week. There are several new features for the upcoming release that will really add to the playability of the game.

I'm almost finished with the March issue of Cerebral Seepage. I'll have the finished copy up on Friday.

I screamed so loud you called the police on me

Feeling: Creative


I saw the movie Across the Universe over the weekend. It's a really nice musical based on The Beatles music. Check it out if you're a fan of musicals.

I've placed my early work of Space Cowboy online. It's not much of a "game" yet. So far all you can do is move a ship in space, fire a laser, shoot at enemy ships, and eventually get blown up. I'm currently working on another release which will make the game more interesting. I should have it by the end of the week.

Here's another fun physics tool. This one simulates rigid body collisions which sounds a lot naughtier than it really is.

Worst. Movie. Ever.

Feeling: Disgusted


Last night I watch the Star Wars Holiday Special. I would explain how terrible it is, but unfortunately, all the words that are fit to describe it also summon forth the ancient demons of old. Luckily, I watched the movie with Riff Trax so I didn't have to claw out my own eyes, but there were still times when I wanted to.

I almost have an early pre-alpha release of Space Cowboy ready for display. It should be ready early next week, but for now, I'm going to enjoy the weekend.

Buy my book, buy my book, buy my book...

Feeling: Accomplished


There was a lunar eclipse last night which was pretty cool to see. Eclipses are very useful to the scientific community because they can be used to get more accurate measurements for astronomy and physics. They're also useful because they offer a good retort to people who often ask the question, "What's the harm of believing in superstition?" Well, our history shows that many cultures attribute eclipses to having the sun or moon being attacked or eaten by giant celestial beasts. While, that in itself, is fairly harmless, the amount of bizarre rituals that people practice during eclipses can sometimes be dangerous. Even in the "modern age", regardless of the evidence to the contrary, eclipses are thought to be ill omens. Some Christians link them to the end of the world, some Hindus think that they can spoil food, and may different cultures seem to think that they can cause birth defects. Because eclipses were taken so seriously many astronomers who failed to predict them were severely punished, sometimes even executed. Here are a collection of links that cite various other superstitions: BBC, Space, NASA, The Hindu, Skeptical Inquirer, Voyage to Darkness.

I also watched the movie Groundhog Day last night which is a favorite of mine. I really like the spiritual undertones that movie expresses with it's existentialist format.

My second draft of the March issue of Cerebral Seepage is now online. If you have some free time please feel free to check my grammar and report any errors. I plan to have the finished version ready on the 29th.

Blood will be spilled

Feeling: Lazy


Do you know how to dial a rotary phone? Do you know how to shave with a straight razor? What about using the card catalog at the library? If so, then you belong in the Wiki of Obsolete Skills. All collection of all of the stuff that you don't need to know how to do anymore.

My latest book order arrived today. I now have a shiny new hardcover version of 1984, Animal Farm, and Fight Club.

The Perry Bible Fellowship Web comic is no more, but the archives are all online. If you like vulgar cynical humor, you'll no doubt enjoy it.

Another day, another dentist appointment

Feeling: Horny


So I broke off another chunk of my teeth. This seems to happen to me all too often. I actually do take pretty good care of my teeth, I brush everyday, I even floss everyday. However, I also put my teeth through some tough challenges. I won't bore you with the details, all I'll say is that they should be called Tooth Breakers, not Jaw Breakers. Anyway, my molar just couldn't take it anymore, and it just fell to pieces... HA HA HA! Fell to pieces. Damn, I'm funny. I'll also be poor when my dentist fixes it on Monday.

I'm currently editing the second draft of my magazine (you'd probably forgotten about it by now) and I should have it up this week. This next draft has about a bajillion fixes, but I'm coming down to the wire for the month roll-over, so I'm trying to speed through it. At least this is a leap year, so I get an extra day.

I've also been working with FreeBASIC. It's a modern 32-bit programming language that is meant to be very similar to Microsoft's antiquated QuickBASIC, only with all the improvements that you wish QuickBASIC had like native graphic handling, memory pointers, and DLL support. I'm currently playing with the basics of my Space Cowboy game. If I stick with it long enough I may even post an alpha version. Don't get your hopes up though.

Porn is our friend

Feeling: Happy


Toshiba announced that they're stopping production of HD-DVD which means that Sony's Blu-Ray is now the standard in high-definition DVD. I'm kind of bummed because I really don't like Sony's ethics and I have this feeling of dread about what kind of various restrictions they'll put on their discs. At least when they were putting rootkits on their CDs I could just buy other publishers, but now they own all of the discs.

Saturday morning I awoke to a incredibly painful leg cramp. Then, I decided that it would be a good idea to go skiing. It actually was a good idea to go skiing since the weather was perfect for it. It was nice and sunny, but still cold enough so that the snow wasn't melting. I got some nice wind burn, but my new coat kept me warm. Chartreuse! In a coat? What won't they think of next? I had planned to go skiing on Sunday with a friend, but she ended up getting sick. This kind of worked out well (not for her, obviously), because it ended up raining on Sunday and we wouldn't have been able to go anyway. Well, after skiing my leg became very sore, and still hasn't come back to normal, but it was worth it. There was even a rainbow at around 3:00. I've never seen a rainbow in the winter before. I've read that atmospheric rainbows can only occur when the sun is at a specific angle relative to the Earth. There must have been some ice crystals or something to cause it. Also, Due to the way the hill was situated, I could see about 200 degrees of the arc, which made it look more like a circle than an arc. Very cool.

What if advertising banners had to tell the truth?

I'm certain that if they took all the porn off the Internet, there'd only be one Web site left, and it would be called "Bring Back the Porn"

Feeling: Okay


The dream that I awoke from this morning was rather disconcerting. I was on a boat fishing in the middle of a small pond. Everything looked very artificial, like it was from a computer game. The water was like a large sheet of glass that didn't ripple, the ground was perfectly flat and the grass looked fractally generated. However, the boat that I was in, and my body was fully real looking. I realized that I didn't have any worms to fish with, so I paddled to the edge of the pond and got out on the land to find some. I wondered where I would find worms, but then I saw little glowing lights along the shore and realized that the worms would be underground right below these lights. I passed by a few tiny lights and finally settled on a big cluster of lights. I pushed my hands in to the fauz dirt and pulled out a writhing mass of worms. The worms were all very real and I could feel their mucous covered bodies squirming in my hand. I put them in a bucket and kept walking around the pond. Each time I found a new cluster of lights I'd dig into the ground with my hands and pull out several more globs of wriggling worms. Every time I did it, there were more and more worms, and I could feel them squirming around, trying to escape my grasp. It was kind of gross.

I love the Dollar Palace, because I don't have to get dressed up like I do for Wal-Mart.

Bush didn't get his way with the warrantless wiretapping bill. Not yet anyway. For at least seven years now our trustworthy government has been coercing the phone companies into helping them listening in on our telephone conversations without a warrant. This blatant disrespect for personal privacy (not to mention federal law) has earned the phone companies several major lawsuits which they certainly deserve. Bush, being the paragon of wisdom that he is, said that the phone companies are so afraid of getting sued that they won't even help the government break the law anymore. Somehow, in his twisted disease-ridden brain, that's a bad thing. Now, any sane person would think that the best way for the phone companies to avoid further lawsuits would be to simply stop breaking the law. Bush, however, is not a sane person and his idea to stop further lawsuits is to simply change the law. You can't sue for an invasion of privacy if the government eliminates privacy! He claims that he needs to tap phones without a warrant to listen in on terrorists. Well, gee Bush, if they're such terrorists why are you having any trouble getting warrants? Could it be that Bush's idea of a terrorist is anyone who didn't donate to the Republican party? Of course not.

Get out like a blonde gets out of a car

Feeling: Okay


Last night I went shopping for coat #3 this winter--after having broke two already. Since I plan on going skiing this weekend anyway, I thought that I might as well pick up a ski coat. So, I went into Shumaker's Ski Shop and started looking around. This was my first time purchasing a true ski coat, and I was a little dismayed at the $800+ price tags that some of them had. However, one thing I noticed after I tried my first coat on is that I really like the fit and comfort of ski coats a lot more than the typical coats that are sold at department stores. Luckily, there was a guy there to help me out and talk about gaming (it's important to talk about RPGs when you're at a ski shop). Although I wouldn't mind having the $700 coat I saw there, I did find a one for around $160 that I also liked a lot, so that's the one that I'm picking up tomorrow.

Happy Venereal Disease Day. Wear a condom people; I can't stress that enough. I know diseases that are named gonorrhea sound awfully desirable, but in reality they're not as pleasant as the media makes it out to be. I do not know from personal experience. Honest.

Speaking of Venereal Disease Day, you know those horrible candy hearts that are made out of ash and dye? Well, they really need to spice up their dull slogans. There were some laid out at work today and I read phrases like "First Kiss" and "URA 10"; lame. What they need to do is cater to the way people actually spend their Venereal Disease Day... sayings like, "Choke Me" or "I Heart Anal". Or perhaps something a little more risqué like "Donkey Show" or "Rim Me". It isn't the 1900's any more people; we've been sexually liberated, so let's act like it.

I've added the unreleased music of the game DOOM to the Videogame Music Preservation Foundation.

Big brother is watching you

Feeling: Happy


Ten words that Shakespeare invented.

For just one more reason why you should never trust the Japanese to cook your food, watch this video, and then take a look at this quality Japanese McDonalds commercial. Be afraid, they're scary.

I'm debating whether or not to play DDR tonight... Most likely...

You're made to believe it and you're afraid of it, I don't have to believe it and I think it's beautiful.

Feeling: Overwhelmed


I updated my DDR high scores with my latest personal bests. I still can't beat my best on my favorite songs, but I am whittling down the number of greats on the others.

I finished reading "Bridge to Terabithia" last night. I thought it was really good, and I highly recommend it--thus its place in my spotlight.

I've got several other things that I've been working on in the background, so no more updates today.

Caviar and cigarettes well versed in etiquette

Feeling: Sleepy


Every now and then I like to treat myself to dinner at a fancy restaurant. I even dress up so that I can fit the part of a well-to-do snob who can afford to pay $40 for a steak because it helps with the whole social elitist "experience". Well, Saturday evening I went to a local restaurant where a single meal can easily hit $50 if you wanted wine and dessert. Anyway, I went in and pretended to belong with the rich stiffs of Grand Blanc even though I'm merely middle class. To fool everyone I wore a tie--it was even made of silk. There are two reasons I like eating at fancy restaurants. First, the food is really good. I had chicken Angelina and it was exquisite. The second reason, is that I'm a voyeur and I love to watch people and listen in on their conversations. This worked great because I was seated between two rather talkative groups. One side involved a man in his sixties who made several sexual innuendos, but is also apparently on the Grand Blanc school board. Figures. The second group was a mother and father with their daughter and her boyfriend (in their thirties). They spent over an hour talking about major appliances and vacationing. Apparently, they have a new washer and drier, and a huge plasma TV. They've also been to Aruba, Acapolco, and Jamaica. My favorite remarks from them were, "People in Jamaica don't speak good English," and, "I don't like going to the inner parts of Aruba because the poor people depress me." Well, maybe if you spent more of your tourist money in the poorer districts the Arubans and Jamaicans would have the money for schools so they could speak gooder English.

I'll be doing some more DDR tonight. Hopefully, I won't see any poor people that will depress me. Of course, I'm driving through Flint, so that's pretty much a given. At least they speak good English here in the USA!

Here we stand or here we fall, history won't care at all

Feeling: Sleepy


I got to hang out with my friend Gwen and her boyfriend last night. We saw the movie "The Eye" together, which wasn't very good.

As promised, a draft of my very first magazine, Cerebreal Seepage, is now online. The file is in PDF, and if you don't have a program that can open PDFs I suggest FoxIt Reader. If you find any typos please be so kind as to email me with a brief description of them and and which page they're on. Thank you kindly.

Come Hell or high water, I'll be playing DDR tonight. Wait a minute. That idiom doesn't make any sense. You can't put high water on the same level as Hell. I mean, high water is just a simple flood. Big deal! Buy a boat and the problem is solved. But Hell... that's a torturous inferno of souls writhing in constant agony for all of eternity so that God can prove is unconditional love to you. That's like apples and oranges. Sure they're both fruit, but one is orange and the other is green, but sometimes red, or maybe yellowish. See what I mean?

I've added quite a bit of information regarding the Commodore 64 version of Bionic Commando to the Bionic Commando Database.

If you're bored you should try a game of Penguin Baseball. My longest drive was 321.

I moved old news as well.

I know my greatest pain is, is yet to come

Feeling: Happy


No DDR last night on account to about a foot of unplowed snow on every road. Stupid transportation department, not clearing the road for me!

There is some new information in the Bionic Commando Database. I added some publications to the multimedia section and split out the items and supplies pages. I also fixed a bug that was preventing PNG images from being uploaded.

I've just about finished up writing my upcoming magazine. I'll have a preview of it up tomorrow in electronic form so everyone can look at it and point out my glaring typographical errors.

Take a look at the world's ugliest socks.

The waves keep on crashing on me for some reason

Feeling: Happy


This video deserves a nice heaping spoonful of WTF.

Try out the Escape Game. You've forgotten how to get out of your office, and you must get out. It plays like a wordless Shadowgate. If you know exactly what to do you can beat the game in less than a minute, but my initial go took about 30. Very cool! I also beat every level of Dicewars. That game is addictive!

It's time I went to the arcade and played some DDR!

What's so super about it?

Feeling: Okay


We got new computers at work, so for the past three days I've been loading it up. It's so annoying to spend literally hours trying to tweak software into the way I like it. I wish more software companies would go back to the old INI config files. Those were so much easier, all you had to do was just copy the INI file from one machine to another and everything was back to normal.

It's February, but most of the snow has melted away. I'm thinking that the only way I'm going to get any decent skiing this year is to head up north and shell out the big bucks. Sigh.

We all know that Bangkok is a funny name, but if you're ever in Bangkok airport, keep an eye out for this sign.

Don't waste, waste your breath and I won't waste my hate on you

Feeling: Okay


Denmark is trying force a ban on The Pirate Bay. Even if they are able to successffully pass the law they'll have to start dealing with a million mirror sites. Good luck.

I'm nearing completion on all of the articles in my first magazine. I want to get all the writing done soon so that I can then focus on layout. I'm still debating between a 8.5 x 11 inch size or a 6 x 9, and I won't know until I've seen them both. Also, I want to get a print out from lulu to fix any mistakes before I put it up for sale. We'll see how it goes.

Religious people are never hypocritical, just ask the Hookers For Jesus.

Test your strategy with a game of Dicewars. The game doesn't have any instructions, but if you're at all familiar with Risk or similar conquest games you'll probably pick it up pretty quickly.

Greed, for lack of a better word, is good

Feeling: Cold Sore


Microsoft is trying to buy Yahoo! for a mere $44.6 billion. They must have finally realized that nobody likes their software because it's really expensive and it really... really sucks. So let's hope that them dumping tons of money into the black hole of Yahoo! makes them stop being evil. I won't hold my breath.

In 2007 Exxon made $40.6 billion in -profit-. That beats out the previous record held by... Exxon. Gouge much?

Super Bowl Sunday is this weekend. If the Patriots win they will be the first team in the NFL to go their whole season undefeated since the number of games got bumped up. There's a lot of hype, a lot of people waiting to watch it on TV, and a whole bunch of companies spending millions on advertising, and I still don't care in the least.

In my personal financial news, I found a nickel in the entrance way to McDonalds.