May, 2008

I'd give her back, all of her play things... even the one's I stole

Feeling: Frustrated


Most of yesterday was spent cleaning malware off of my sister's computer. I was actually very impressed with the malware's developers. They made the program so effective at preventing removal that I it took me over three hours, and I still didn't get it all. The malware runs as a DLL instead of a program, and it's opened by both winlogon.exe and explorer.exe, so you need a program like Move On Boot to delete it, but the malware prevents Move On Boot from installing. In addition, it disables the Automatic Updates service and won't let you reenable it, so you can't get the fixes from Microsoft. A lot of work went into this program, and I don't know if I should pity the developers for spending so much time on a prank or be impressed with their mastery of Windows. I really need a new hobby.

The Bionic Commando Database has received several more updates to the communication pages, the area pages, Japanese version, and the hazards. Several more graphics have been added as well.

My new dream car is the Saab 9-3 convertible in lime green. I want this car because it looks cool and because it's lime green. Those reasons alone should give you an idea of my car knowledge.

Sometimes I think that the CIA is an evil conglomerate of torturous psychopaths who don't answer to anyone. But then I remember the power of the Freedom of Information Act, which mandates that they must tell us what they've been up to. Of course, they still have the right to redact any top-secret information that may be a threat to national security, but I'm sure that's only a small amount of their records. Right?

I feel that the most sensual part of a woman's body is the boobies

Feeling: Cheery


Several more additions have been made to the Bionic Commando Database including a new T-shirt, a revamping and major increase on the communicators section, articles on the difference between combat and neutral areas, and boss rooms.

If you haven't figured it out from the lack of notices, there won't be a Cerebral Seepage issue for July. Basically, I was getting burned out making an issue each month. 25 pages may not seem like much, but let me assure you, it's a lot of work when you're doing all of the writing, graphics, layouts, and typesetting yourself. I decided that I would try for a bi-monthly release date and see how that goes. Also, for those of you who have something to say, I'm considering allowing other people to write articles for the magazine. If you would like to write an article, send me an email about your topic and why you feel it would be a good addition to the magazine and maybe we can work something out.

If I said you had a nice body would you take off your pants and dance around?

Feeling: Injured


I've been playing Phantasy Star III for quite awhile now. It's hard to believe that I would do such a thing. As far as RPGs go, this one is basically a footnote. There isn't much in the way of story line or dialog, and the graphics/music are all right, but not breathtaking. Basically, I'm reliving some nostalgia from my old junior high school days when a friend and I used to play it.

The ripped music from Laser Light has been added to the Videogame Music Preservation Foundation.

You know those "Read" posters that they hang up in elementary school libraries? Well, they really should have asked Aire from Queen of Wands for her design.

And it's in my hands, I will if you want me to

Feeling: Exhausted


I had a nice full weekend. On Saturday I went to Mayfaire and hung out with all my faire-friends. Sunday, my friend Jessica and I went and saw Rilo Kiley at the Royal Oak Music Theatre. Monday I had a cookout with my arcade friends and I'm still a little sore from all the crazy outdoor fun.

Concert info: For the first time seeing Rilo Kiley they had a strict no-pictures policy, and the sphincter police enforced it pretty tightly. I didn't want to risk losing my camera, so I didn't take any pictures. It was still fun though. The opening acts were some guy I don't remember and The Spinto Band. The Spinto Band was really impressive. The lead singer looks like Adrian Paul if he were an adult in the 1950s. The Rilo Kiley set list was: Close Call, The Moneymaker, Dreamworld, Capturing Moods, Breakin' Up, Does He Love You, Ripchord, The Absence of God, With Arms Outstretched, Hail To Whatever You Found In the Sunlight That Surrounds You, It's a Hit, 15, Silver Lining, and I Never. The Encore was Pictures of Success, The intro to Spectacular Views, Portions For Foxes, and then the end of Spectacular Views.

The music from Phantasy Star III: Generations of Doom has been added to the Videogame Music Preservation Foundation.

I don't drink coffee, and as such, don't usually go to Starbucks, but on the off chance that I'm dragged to one, I invariably see at least one, but sometimes three or four of the 8 Types of Annoying People You'll Find Inside Starbucks.

Since 1996, Sylvia Browne has been making predictions about who will win the US presidential elections. If you ignore the fact that she changes her predictions each time her initial guess drops out of the race you get an accuracy of 43%, which is abysmal. However, if you fairly judge the past four elections with her initial guesses, she drops down to a 25% accuracy. You can see the full history of her pathetic failures at

Is anybody out there?

Feeling: Happy


Yet another soundtrack has been added to the Videogame Music Preservation Foundation, although this is just the rip of Electranoid, not the recorded music.

I'll be back down at Mayfaire this weekend, see you all there.

Welcome me in to the earthly air

Feeling: Okay


The soundtrack of Star Wars: X-Wing vs. TIE Fighter is now in the Videogame Music Preservation Foundation.

I wish the weather would get a little nicer so I could ride my bike again. My chubby belly is beginning to annoy me.

I'm Dennis Kucinich, and I approve this message

Feeling: Gloomy


The ripped soundtrack from Vinyl Goddess From Mars has been added to the Videogame Music Preservation Foundation.

I have a friend that teaches developmental English to Flint students that can barely spell their own names. It's a Herculean task, but she just needs to use a word processor that her students can relate to. That's why Microsoft created a ghetto version of their popular Word program.

Feminists just need to find a man

Feeling: Happy


I've added the NES port of the Double Dragon soundtrack to the Videogame Music Preservation Foundation. I've also added my hacking notes for the game. So, if you want infinite lives, infinite energy, infinite time, and all moves right from the beginning, you can now have them.

Finally! The teachers are striking back! After the students of this Darmouth teacher argued with her opinions, she doesn't bother with telling them to be quite, or leave the room, she decides to sue them!

Goodbye wicked little town

Feeling: Sleepy


Over the weekend I picked up Final Fantasy Chronicles for PlayStation, and an N64 with a controller and Harvest Moon 64 at a garage sale for only six bucks. Mayfaire was nice and cold, but it was still a lot of fun.

I've added the soundtrack of Sensible Golf (both the DOS and Windows ports) into the Videogame Music Preservation Foundation.

I found an interesting error in the old Windows 3.1 screen saver "Flying Windows" when run on Windows 32. If the "smooth font edges" property turned on, the program can't clear the Windows logos properly and you'll get this effect. This happens because the screen saver uses the Windings font for the Windows logo and draws it using the same Windows library as regular text.

There's nothing you can find that cannot be found

Feeling: Sleepy


You know what you should never do when you know a lot about computers? Tell people that you know a lot about computers. If you do, the rest of your life will spent removing spyware from other people's computers.

All my friends are at an anime convention in Chicago, so I'll have to entertain myself tonight. But this weekend I'll be down at Mayfaire.

I'm pulling the wig down from the shelf

Feeling: Nostalgic


I loaded up an old copy of Windows 3.11 For Workgroups in DOSBox. I set it to full screen and started playing around with it. My first family computer was a Packard Bell 386 SX, 16 Mhz 1 MB RAM, 120 MB hard drive POS that came with a copy of Windows 3.0. Playing around with the Windows settings was just like the good old days when I was first learning how to use computers. It felt like home. It's frightening that I can say that about Windows, but it was like a flood of memories... learning how to set bitmap and pattern backgrounds, playing with screen saver options, the time when my mother said that the computer was going to be used for homework, not game (yeah, that happened!). I even remembered the day when I once accidentally deleted my entire root directory and the panic that ensued. Ah, good times.

This kid is my hero. He's only 13, but he still had the wherewithal to steal his fathers credit card and order himself some hookers.

My copy of Hedwig and the Angry Inch just arrived in the mail today. Sweet.

Suddenly I'm this punk rock star of stage and screen

Feeling: Happy


I've been on a major "Hedwig and the Angry Inch" listening spree... thus, the new obsession song.

My apologies for the lack of a real update, but I'm currently exercising my right to have a life.

Now that we have drunk some beer, let's go drive a car

Feeling: Nerdy


I updated the Glass Shrine thanks to motivation from a new Swords of Glass site by Wayne Schmidt. The biggest addition is the saved game layout page at the bottom of the cheating page. It shows all of the important information about altering the game's save file to give your character everything you could possibly want.

There are also some more entries in the Bionic Commando Database.

Jason saves Fred!

Feeling: Annoyed


It was a pretty good weekend. Saturday, I biked and hung out with my peeps. Sunday was going to be a dodgeball day, but it was rained out. Unfortunately, both Mongolian Barbecue -and- Buffalo Wild Wings thought that blowing up balloons and giving them to kids was a good idea. If you read my previous magazine article about my balloon-phobia you can guess how well that went over.

I finished up Nick Hornby's "A Long Way Down", which was really amazing. It makes it into my desert island, all-time, top 5 favorite books and it would take an entire marker to highlight all of the spectacular passages.

I've added the very popular Blaster Master soundtrack to the Videogame Music Preservation Foundation and uploaded my hacking notes for the game. You can now play with infinite hit points, infinite hover, always have the best gun, have unlimited homing missiles, etc.

Sometimes I wonder how our society functions when we have such backwater hicks working in positions of education. Jim Piculas, a substitute teacher in Pasco County, Florida, showed the students of Rushe Middle School a sleight-of-hand trick where he made a toothpick disappear and then reappear. Shortly thereafter, the school fired him for wizardry. Yes, wizardry. As in the school actually thinks that he was casting spells, summoning evil spirits, and wielding dark majicks! He should seek a job at Hogwarts since he's most likely to be burned at the stake in Florida. You can read the whole story here.

Speaking of intolerant crackpots in places of power, Monique Davis (a Democratic Representative of Chicago), verbally attacked Rob Sherman (an atheist activist) while he was trying to prevent $1 million of the Chicago tax-payer's money from being spent on a Baptist church. She told him that "What you have to spew and spread is extremely dangerous," and, "It's dangerous for our children to even know that your philosophy exists!", and my personal favorite, "You have no right to be here!" Apparently, in Davis' America, only Christians have the right to have their voices heard. She says plenty of other hateful things that, were they directed to any other minority, would no doubt get her fired, but since Sherman is an atheist nothing of the sort will occur. Read more here.

I rescued Super Joe!

Feeling: Elated


Last night I received a package from Capcom, Europe! I was so incredibly geeked to see it, and when I opened it, I found to my joy that I received an official Bionic Commando: Rearmed T-shirt! Capcom is my hero. I've documented the shirt and added it to the Bionic Commando Database.

I also got my fat butt to the arcade and played some DDR last night. My foot injury still exists, but only when I put pressure on the side of my foot, I seem to be able to stomp the foot just fine. Plus, the exercise helped clear up any soreness that I still had from playing dodgeball.

I had two odd dreams this morning. The first involved me coming across a Japanese man with the name "Atsushi Fujio". I was all excited and I asked him if he was the same Atsushi Fujio who composed videogame music for Konami, and when he said, "No," I looked disappointed. Apparently, he got this all the time because he was a little upset that I confused him with the composer. My second dream involved me shaving my head. Like, taking clippers, and trimming the hair down to the scalp. When I woke up I had to feel my head, just to make sure my lovely precious locks were still there.

The lame soundtrack of Tiger-Heli is now in the Videogame Music Preservation Foundation.

I've also posted my hacking notes for Abadox and Tiger-Heli. With them you can become invincible, have infinite lives, and always have the best power-ups.

SpongeBob EmoPants.

Do you know what it means to feel like god?

Feeling: Okay


The soundtrack of Abadox: The Deadly Inner War is now online in the Videogame Music Preservation Foundation.

Since I see image formats being used incorrectly on the Web all the time, I decided to make a page which explains the differences between the more common formats you see on the Web, the strengths and weaknesses of each, and when you should used them. Enjoy, Graphic Formats For Web Use.

Feed me Faygo!

Feeling: Blah


Critics of videogame violence bitch about how there are no concequences for violent actions in the games. Well, der! It's a videogame. Should we hold a tribunal every time Mario stomps on a goomba? Of course, we can all be sure that in real life you have to pay for your crimes. Just ask the three police officers who shot -50- rounds at Sean Bell. No, he didn't have a gun, but he was black. To prove there are concequences in the real world, the police officers were all acquitted. Thus proving, that if you're black, there will be consiquences. Luckily, Patrick J. Lynch, President of New York's Police Benevolent Association and advocate of less violent videogames, offered his great wisdom as seen in this comic. I wonder if it's a coincidence that a black man was killed and Patrick's last name is "Lynch". Lynch also said, " this case there are no winners or losers..." Well, I'd have to argue that Sean Bell, the guy that was killed, just may have lost.

Rasicsm aside, I've added the soundtrack of SIM Town to Videogame Music Preservation Foundation.

I pushed April's updates to the old news page.

Somewhere in my wicked, miserable past there must have been a moment of truth

Feeling: Injured


This site has a WTF rating of 4. And they're subjecting kids to this stuff!

The miniature soundtrack for Elite: Plus is now in the Videogame Music Preservation Foundation.

I'm still gimping around from Sunday's dodgeball extravaganza. I didn't realize how out-of-shape I was, but not being able to do anything last summer really turned my body into mush. I tried stretching and walking to loosen up, but I'm still aching everywhere. Woe is me.

Dodge, duck, dip, dive, and... dodge

Feeling: Injured


The weekend began by being nice and relaxing. I bought a padded mattress cover for my bed, slept in on Saturday, got my car fixed, and basically took it easy the whole day. Sunday, on the other hand, was a grueling test of physical endurance and mental stability as the Troublesum crowd played dodgeball for three straight hours. Not having thrown a ball in close to a year now, my arms are incredibly sore, but my wrists held out the whole time.

I also cranked out another soundtrack over the weekend. The Yukon Trail is now in the Videogame Music Preservation Foundation.

I'm going to try and work out my stiff joints tonight, and hopefully, by Wednesday, I won't be moving around like an arthritic old man.

Sleep, the other white meat

Feeling: Sleepy


I recently watched "Girl, Interrupted" again and I still have a total hard-on for Georgina Tuskin played by Clea DuVall.

I added another soundtrack to the Videogame Music Preservation Foundation. The game is called "Fuzzy's World of Miniature Space Golf". I'll bet you can't guess what it's about.

My car has been acting strange again. Awhile back I spent $200+ dollars to fix something with the wheel, and now it feels like it's doing it again. I'm going to have to take it in again this weekend. I hope I'm still under warranty.

It's done!

Feeling: Exhausted


Well, I finished it! The third issue of Cerebral Seepage is complete and ready for purchase/download. I've been putting some serious hours into its completion, and I'm very happy to see it finished. I can finally relax for a couple days.