December, 2008

Captain Vitamin, I need to eat your cereal

Feeling: Sick


Did the family thing on Sunday, got some loot. Good times. Afterward I did the friends thing. Less loot, but more partying. Watching a friend get drunk for the very first time is funny, but watching them get sick and hug the toilet for the first time is hilarious.

Apparently, being inside with a whole bunch of other people for prolonged periods of time is a good way to get sick. Who knew? On the plus side, it's Friday, so I have all weekend to recuperate. On the double-plus side, I have the first three days of next week off for vacation. In the triple-plus side, I have Thursday off because of the New Year. On the quadruple-plus side, that means I only have to work Friday of next week before I get another weekend off. On the quintuple-plus side... nope, just four pluses. What kind of crappy world only gives you four pluses?

My work computer just got infected with Virtumonde. How embarrassing.

Hairy Bris-mas

Feeling: Happy


Real life Far Side comics.

Super Soakers are much more fun when used as a flamethrower.

Microsoft just can't seem to get people interested in Vista. They've pushed the deadline for XP out another three months.

I heart serial commas.

Back after my time off. See you Friday.

Lost all faith in governmental watchdog groups

Feeling: Frustrated


I finally got a chance to go skiing over the weekend. My friend Devin and I braved the slopes on Sunday--the winter solstice. Much to our dismay it was painfully cold, but we still enjoyed ourselves none-the-less. My new skis work beautifully.

Just a friendly reminder... if someone tells you they're a psychic, don't believe them. If they tell you that something terrible is going to happen to you, don't believe them. If the tell you that the only way to prevent said terrible thing from happening is to give them $93,000... don't believe them!

Being a con artist is all well and good, but they often go to jail when they scam people out of their money. If you want to make money the easy way, follow the same business plan of the makers of Airborne.

  1. Make a pill, tablet, powder--whatever.
  2. Sell your product as dietary supplement--that way the FDA can't regulate it or even verify that it works.
  3. Write on your product's box that it's clinically proven to cure the common cold and flu.
  4. Create a company of two unlicensed doctors to be the "clinic" who says it works.
  5. Most people don't have the time to research your product's lies, and since Wal-Mart and Rite Aid group it with the other cold medicines, they'll buy it anyway.
  6. Although the FDA can't do anything about your lies, the Federal Trade Commission can, but they won't do anything for at least ten years.
  7. After you've made billions, the FTC will finally slap you with a lawsuit.
  8. Settle with the FTC for 30 million, a mere pittance compared to what you've already made.
  9. Replace the unproven claims on your product's box with different unproven claims.
  10. Collect money for another ten years. Repeat until richer than a bank executive the day after the $700 billion bailout.

Work was super crazy today, but I'm looking forward to several days off coming up soon.

Since we've no place to go...

Feeling: Annoyed


Last night I came to the conclusion that my body is genetically predisposed to hating sleep. After achieving a mere 5 hours the night before, and being extremely tired all day, I figured that surely this night my body will be in desperate for sleep. I even cut out caffeine and resisted the urge to nap during the day. Yet, as midnight approached, my body suddenly became hyper-awake and by 1:00 AM I was still quite wired. I don't remember exactly when I feel asleep, but judging by the rough morning, it probably wasn't until 3 again. Seriously, WTF? The only thing I can attribute to the insomnia (other than poor genetic material; thank you mom and dad) is my lack of physical exertion. My job keeps me in a chair for nine hours, and my hobbies for another four hours after that. I walk around the mall and lift weights, but there isn't much else to do in the winter. Maybe I should get a gym membership?

Want to get your name in the record books? Just do something crazy and call the people at Guinness. Just make sure that you actually succeed or you may look like these losers.

I got to cut out of work a little early today because of the heavy snow. Only about a foot, but the plows can't keep up with it. Good times. Looks like there will be perfect ski weather this weekend!

Off to sleep they go in the afterglow, tiny toys beneath the Christmas tree

Feeling: Sleepy


Last night something terrible happened. It was around 1:00 AM, and I was still awake. No caffeine to blame it on this time, it was just pure good old fashioned insomnia. Well, I decided I would maybe catch a few minutes of TV just to turn my brain into mush so I could sleep. Well, I flipped through all six of my channels and stopped on PBS. They were showcasing a musical number. It was an outdoor scene with people walking this way and that. The music sounded vaguely familiar, and I was entertained by the various people on the street. None of them were talking, just walking around with large sweeping motions like they do in theatre. Well a few minutes into the Overture I realized that I was watching Pyotr Ilyich Tchaikovsky's Nutcracker Suite. Crap! As I had not seen the Nutcracker in at least ten years, I decided that I must now watch it, as it is one of my favorites. The ballet was performed by the San Francisco Ballet group and they did an amazing job. I didn't get back to bed until 3:00 AM... Needless to say, I wasn't all that thrilled about waking up this morning.

The soundtrack of Panel de Pon is in the Videogame Music Preservation Foundation. It's just the Japanese version of Tetris Attack, and there are only three different songs.

"It's not really poetry, but it's pretty," he said.

Feeling: Happy


I added the soundtrack of Tetris Attack to the Videogame Music Preservation Foundation. You should download it, because it's good. Especially the music for the various stages.

Lots of snow last night and today. Figures, that it snows when I can't ski. Lame. I hope it's all still there this weekend.

Jenny Lewis' new solo album, Acid Tongue is now out. Only a couple of songs seem that great so far, but then, I said the same thing about her last album, but those songs all grew on me over time. Maybe this one will as well.

Our friend was raped Stan, and we just ran away!

Feeling: Annoyed


I took Monday off with every intention of going skiing. Well, Sunday night the temperature rose up nice and balmy, melting all the snow. Then, on Monday morning, it became windy and freezing again turning all remaining snow into a sheet of ice. Thus, no skiing. :'-(

I have to be careful how I use emoticons from now on. Why? Because patent offices are stupid. Case in point: someone in Russia successfully patented the "winking" text emoticon ;-) and expects royalties from any company that uses it.

After hearing plenty of negative reviews, I finally bit the bullet and watched Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull. I have to agree with South Park; Indy was raped by Lucas and Spielberg. They ruined yet another one of my childhood favorites with cheap special effects and weak dialog. Aliens? Seriously? Aliens! What the fuck? Why are there aliens in an Indiana Jones movie? How does hiding in a refrigerator protect you from a nuclear bomb? A nuclear bomb thwarted by a fridge? It was seriously awful. Why does the "highly magnetic" crystal skull only seem to affect metal when it's important to the script, but ignore it for the rest of the movie? Why does Indy help the villains every chance he gets; shouldn't he at least try to fight back? When will Lucas learn that CGI looks obviously fake and ruins any attempt at realism? As far as I'm concerned Indy 4 is just likes Star Wars 1-3, i.e., it never happened.

If you're going to get a tattoo, make sure you understand how to use a contraction.

While at Barnes and Noble I heard two people that bugged me. The first was a loud teen girl saying, "I won't buy any book if it doesn't have a good cover." Then, a little while later, her friend showed her a teen magazine and she saw a boy band and said, "You don't really see them in magazines anymore, so I don't really like them as much." Holy shallowness Batman! Granted, the girl was in her early teens where some shallowness is expected, but come on! The second annoying person was a teen boy who was talking to his mom on the phone, while also talking, quite loudly, to his friends that were with him at the store right next to the chairs where everyone was reading. He hung up the phone and said, "Okay-eee. That's how my mom says 'okay'. It pisses me off! There is only one 'y' at the end of 'okay'! It's not okay-eeeeee." First of all, OK is not spelled with a 'y' at all. It's an abbreviation most likely of the phrase "oll korrect" and, as such, is properly spelled with the capital letters "OK". "Okay" is now an accepted variant, which I agree with and use myself. However, the second problem with the youth's statement is that he assumes that adding multiple Ys to the end of the word will somehow suffix a long E sound. I think that most speakers of English would elongate the long A sound if OK were spelled "okayyyy".

Time to zone out...

Feeling: Stoned


Apparently, it's against the law to charge an old lady $445,000 to psychically remove her curses. Of course, I have to sympathize with the con artist... if people are stupid enough to believe in curses, do they really deserve to have money?

Check out these videos of flight patterns, including every single flight on Earth over a 24-hour span.

All new cereal flavors.

Poke poke

Feeling: Happy


Few things feel as fresh as a brand new OS installation. Like, twice as fresh as even the strongest douche!

Several broken links in the Game Font Database have been fixed and the Rocky Horror Show game font has been added.

Four new movies added to my collection, Almost Famous, Merlin, Mr. Baseball, and Real Genius.

I challenge thee to a test of brain smartness!

Feeling: Accomplished


My finished first draft of The Pocket Debate Book and it is now available for download. It is still riddled with typos, but it feels good to finally finish up all the topics I wanted to fit into the first edition. I've sent a copy to the printers and, once it arrives, I'll be able to take care of any formatting mistakes and catch some more syntax bugs. Then, I'll finalize the first edition and start working on the second edition which will strengthen the existing work and introduce several new topics.

Want to play a game of faceball? Don't you mean baseball? No, I mean faceball!

All I need now is Kuribo's shoe!

Feeling: Okay


I have a Tanooki Mario hoodie! It doesn't have a tail or two foot diameter testicles like a tanooki is supposed to, but it's still pretty cool. Also, I tried pressing down and B, but I didn't turn into a statue. I think the hoodie is defective, but I already took the tags off, so I can't return it.

Another evening of fixing computers, watching Star Trek, and eating alone. As a lolcat would say: geekness, ur doin it... serprisinly rite! Speaking of being a geek, NES keyles entry system, and 50 skills every geek should have.

If you don't drive well, God will put a hit out on you.

Be sure to feed the staving CEOs.

Gone with the location where a high pressure zone meets a low pressure zone

Feeling: Injured


The weekend was nice. I picked up some new clothes, slept a hefty amount, and had a wonderful time sledding with my homies. Currently, my knee and my neck are wonderfully sore, which lets me know I enjoyed myself.

Most of my free time is being put into the first draft of my debate book which is close to a year in the making. I'm very close now to posting all 170 pages online.

There's a kingdom just beyond a star, not too far...

Feeling: Sleepy


Back in 5th grade my choir class performed a children's version of the Nutcracker Suite. Since the music was engrained into my head, I still remember many of the lyrics even to this day (17 years later). I decided to see if the Internet is truly as wonderful as I always claim it is, and did a search for the play. Sure enough, I found a poorly constructed PowerPoint files with all of the lyrics. Reading through them again brought back plenty of fond (and not-so-fond) memories of rehearsal, production, and the after-party. I really miss taking part in cast productions, and hopefully I'll be in the next Flint production of RHPS. Probably none of my regular readers are going to know this play, but I'm posting the lyrics anyway. If you are a Oakland County, Michigan native who had Miss Lacey for a music teacher in elementary school maybe you'll remember it too.

Enjoy the top 12 best payback moments in movie history.

What would happen if Star Trek met Star Wars?

Want to see how standards compliant your Web browser is? Take the Acid3 Test. If you're using the most recent production releases of most browsers (Firefox, Opera, Safari, Konqueror) will achieve a score in the 70-80% range, and the alpha/beta releases of those browsers will give you 90-100%. The latest version of Microsoft Internet Explorer, on the other hand, scores 12%, and their beta version (IE 8) scores a mere 21%. Regardless of their pathetic score, most people still use Internet Explorer because they don't know how to install anything else.

Eight hours of sleep and I'm still tired

Feeling: Sleepy


Yesterday, the big thing to talk about was how Apple told their customers to install antivirus software. Well, today, they've decided to delete that statement and once again assure their faithful flock that Macintosh computers are magically immune to everything. It kind of makes me want to write some viruses for Mac just to prove them wrong, but I don't know a single person who owns a Macintosh programming language.

Speaking of Apple, their iPhone is giving them even more headaches. They released their latest phone, the 3G, under the claim that it's twice as fast and half the cost. If that sounds too good to be true, it's because it is. A 70-year-old man called their bullshit and sued them when his new 3G phone didn't perform twice as fast as his old iPhone. So what was Apple's legal response? Basically, they said that it is unreasonable for any of their customers to actually believe their advertising claims. That's what I love about Apple customers. They're willing to pay twice the price to get treated half as good.

I'd give out these geek coupons, but I don't think I could stop myself.

I'm not suggesting that you illegally download the following torrents, I'm just letting you know that they're there for educational purposes only.
The Venture Bros - Seasons 1 & 2
Bill Nye the Science Guy - Complete Series
Queen's Discography
Spirited Away

My burps taste like Hunan chicken

Feeling: Sleepy


There are some new hacking notes for the NES. For the game AD&D: Dragon Strike you can get infinite energy, and for the game Bomberman 2 you can jump to any stage, have full bombs, full flame length, time bombs, bomb immunity, infinite time, infinite lives, and full speed.

After years of claiming god-like invulnerability to viruses and spyware, Apple finally decides to admit to their herd of sheep-like users that viruses are a problem and they should install multiple security measures to be safe. This is a far cry from those "I'm a PC / I'm a Mac" commercials telling you that Macs are magically immune to having anything bad happen, ever.

I've been getting lazy with the cold weather. My belly is starting to get fat on it, and we can't have that. I need a magic belly de-fattening device STAT!

Wish I was much more masculine

Feeling: Okay


December already? Wow!

Weekend recap. I spent Friday evening hanging out with my friend Devin and several others. We did a bunch of gaming into the wee hours of the morning. On Saturday, I went grocery shopping and began cleaning my apartment. Later in the day I met up with my friend Tara, whom I haven't seen in forever and a day. We went and saw her friend's band The Round. They were really good, so go give them some love. I slept in late on Sunday, played some videogames, cleaned my apartment some more, and watched as several inches of snow came down. I can't wait to try out my new skis!

Want to know how to exercise demons from a child? The Christians of Nigeria know how. Drive a nail in their head, make them drink poison, set them on fire... you know, the usual.

I added more to my books collection. The fiction and non-fiction pages have a lot more covers, and I broke out the non-fiction into several more pages for games, computers, and reference.

Off to fix a computer tonight in preparation for fixing another one tomorrow!