June, 2009

Wanna know all the details of my disaster

Feeling: Okay


Remember back in the day when copyright lawsuits by music companies actually meant something?

Wanna get ripped off? Become a gamer!

I've added some ROM offsets for the NES game Dragon Warrior to the hacking section.

I've updated The Blasphemer's Bible's top rated page to now only include comics that have at least 3 ratings or more. This shrunk the list down a bit, so go and rank your favorite comics to move them up in the list! Also, there is a new comic to view.

Check out these facinating trends from OKCupid users; there are some interesting results. People from Northern states are less likely to shower each day. People from Wyoming are far more likely to act out a partner's rape fantasy. City dwellers are much more likely to allow flag burning, unless you're from Texas or Floridia.

I will not sleep until I've counted to 200 three times

Feeling: Lonely


Dear media: I didn't care the least bit when Michael Jackson died four days ago, and I now care even less. Stop wasting everyone's time by reporting on it. It is not news. Likewise, nobody cares about that OxiClean guy who never stopped shouting and had a squishy face. It's time to get back to the important stuff, like what kind of drugs Amy Winehouse is on.

My new TV arrived on Saturday. I got it setup and watched some really big Simpsons. I'm currently hooking up Octavia to the TV so that I can watch downloaded shows and play emulated games on a 55" display. Awesome!

The Blasphemer's Bible now has an RSS feed that you can subscribe to. Let me know how/if it works. I've also added the top-rated page. Currently, it merely averages all of the ratings given to a comic, and then displays them in order. This gives a slightly false appearance since a comic with only one 5 will be rated higher than a comic with fifty 5s and one 4. I'll adjust for this later. You'll also find my comic in the Comixpedia, which is a Wiki for Web comics. There's a new panel today too, so check it out and vote.

On Sunday, a girl I used to date introduced me to the new guy she's dating. Although he's a great guy, and I'm happy for them both, I'm terribly envious. No, I don't want to date the dude so quite thinking about TheAlmightyGuru slash! It was just a reminder that I'm still single, I have been for sometime, and I really miss the intimacy that comes with having a girlfriend. However, I do enjoy being able to buy big screen TVs without having to consult anyone.

Friday's here at last!

Feeling: Happy


Yesterday I was chatting with this girl who told me she didn't find men with long hair attractive. The poor dear. Which is coincidental, because I had already decided to give myself a haircut that night. However, by "haircut" I only mean trimming the scruff in the back. Certainly not enough to have said woman approve of my gorgeous locks. My long hair and goatee also give me the nickname "Jesus", which is a fun coincidence with today's Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal.

I actually had a dream last night about getting a computer virus... Sometimes I'm concerned that I may be thinking about computers too much... Nah! Speaking of computers, I get my new TV tomorrow, so I need to format and reload Octavia. She's going to become my new television PC. I'm going to fill up her four hard drives with a few thousand TV shows and movies. I'll never have to watch commercials ever again!

Thus endith week 4 of The Blasphemer's Bible. More will appear on Monday!

Come with me now, nothing can ever stop us!

Feeling: Content


Last night, my compatriots and I went to the local roller rink and spent a couple hours playing DDR. It's been so long since we played that we were a bit rusty, but it felt great to be back playing DDR with friends. Ever since the arcade closed up, there just hasn't been anywhere to meet fellow gamers for a nice round of sweaty rhythm fun. I'm a little sore this morning, but it's a good kind of sore.

Can you believe it ladies? This man is still single!

Want to rid your child of the evil demons that are making them gay? Well, just perform an exorcism on them silly!

There's another new panel for The Blasphemer's Bible. Don't forget to vote.

Freak your kid out by buying them one of these horrifying toys.

After the game of love baby, all I wanna do is be lazy

Feeling: Happy


Top 50 movie robots.

For those of you who just dropped $500 on a new Blu-Ray player, Samsung has signed exclusive rights for the new 1.6 terabyte disc that will be released in about 5 years.

The Blasphemer's Bible. Vote.


Turn up the night, if it feels right

Feeling: Happy


Some professional spammers have just pled guilty to annoying everyone with an email account. They were arrested right here in Michigan, only an hour away from where I live.

A -real- woman responds to a man's call out for a real woman on craigslist. Basically, a guy has his misogynistic views shot down.

Holy tortilla shells! The Blasphemer's Bible rolls on!

Some people are painfully stupid, as proved by these contestants on Wheel of Fortune.

By now, most of you should know that awesome science gives me a total hard-on. Well, I won't even try to explain the extreme happiness I had when viewing this stuff. There's nothing new on the list, but it's awesome to see it all together.

Here is my firework haul for this year. Not too shabby.

But could not drive out the inhabitants of the valley, because they had chariots of iron

Feeling: Content


I had a particularly wonderful weekend. It began Saturday morning with a trip down to Indiana with June to get some fireworks. The drive was free from construction and we had a wonderful talk about music, religion, and life in general. There was also plenty of sing-a-long Disney! I kept my spending under $300, but learned that Indiana recently upped their firework tax to 12%! Maybe I'll go to Ohio next year.

In the evening Devin, Justin, and I went with Devin to his uncle's house where we ate smoked chicken and ribs, swam in his pool, and had a wonderful discussion on religion. By discussion, I mean that we were proselytized to for an hour or so. He never asked for our opinion on anything, which is typical, he just gave us the usual "God is great and you need to love him" speech. Not wanting to be a bad guest, I allowed him to rant for awhile without going on the offensive, but I always defended my position when he made an erroneous claim. He used the typical apologetics. He claimed that we get our morals from the Bible--I countered with the social contract. He claimed that we say things like "God damn", proving God's existence--I counted by saying that only Christian cultures do this. Hindus living may have their own religious interjections, but I doubt he would accept "Shiva damn!" as proof of Shiva. He claimed that using terms like A.D. 2009 was proof of Jesus, and I pointed out that the usage of Anno Domini didn't begin until around 500 CE. As a child, I would have fell for those points, but, thanks to a bountiful education, I was able to refute his claims quite easily. I also got to try out some of my new arguments and they went over wonderfully. In particular, that Adam and Eve didn't have a conscience until after they ate the fruit. Therefore, it was meaningless for God to tell them it was wrong to eat the fruit because they couldn't comprehend the concept of "wrong". Thus, Adam and Eve didn't actually sin by eating the fruit. He tried to dodge that point as best as he could, but when pressed, he had to admit ignorance and told me I should pray to God for the answer. It made me happy to hold my own in the discussion, and it gave me much needed practice at using the Socratic method. However, to be fair, the man was quite hospitable and very kind--just overbearing with religion.

On Sunday afternoon I got to help out a friend who's been feeling down, which always makes me feel good. Then, I went to the mall and greeted the numerous workers I've made friends with from showing up so often. Later, I hung out with Nathan, June, Rob, and Cody (ex-arcade crowd). We went to dinner together and then went on a bike ride until it got dark. We stayed up late talking, but I finally went home, watched a couple episodes of Star Trek: DS9, and went to bed. The weekend was wonderful!

In other news, Liz is a bitch! And, some foods should not be canned.

Holy macaroni! The Blasphemer's Bible begins it's fourth week!

In terms of Roman numerals, he's IV league with Roman Polanski

Feeling: Dreamy


If you enjoyed the wonderfully clever puzzle game The Fool's Errand, then you'll be pleased to know that a sequel is almost complete. Try the demo of A Fool and His Money! The crazy puzzles are back--prepare to be frustrated!

The Blasphemer's Bible has three weeks worth of panels now.

Tomorrow morning I'm heading down to the border to pick up some fireworks to help celebrate my country's independence from those crazy tyrants, the English! I'll be bloody damned if I shall be influenced by their cockney rubbish!

I bought a new TV last night. A mere 55" LCD. I spent a lot of time trying to find an LCD that had a nice wide angle of viewing, as well as one that didn't butcher flesh tones at higher angles. It doesn't have as sharp a picture as the best TVs of today, but this was done on purpose because I didn't want the artifacting of the MPEG compression algorithm to be as noticeable. It also has really dark blacks, which I like. I got free delivery, but I had to push it out until next Saturday so I didn't have to take time off of work.

The predator in me is put to shame by the predator in her

Feeling: Dreamy


Microsoft just won the "Biggest Liars of All Time" award with their fair and unbiased comparison of IE 8 to Firefox and Chrome. They claim better security (laughable), more accurate standards (not according to the Acid3 Test), more customizability (Firefox literally has several thousand add-ons). Of course, they don't get into other metrics, like memory usage which affects computer speed, OS support (IE runs on Windows, while Firefox runs on Windows, Mac, LINUX, and BSD), language support (Firefox: 62, Chrome: 50, IE: 33). Basically, both Firefox and Chrome beat out IE in most fronts.

Be sure to check out The Blasphemer's Bible and show me some love by voting for me.

I've seen a lot of Atari Adventure remakes in my time, but 2600 Reboot is just beautiful! It's not finished, but it looks beautiful!

Do you feel genuinely upset when a pretty girl you fancy breaks up with her boyfriend? I really try to feel sympathetic. I know that a breakup is painful and confusing. But no matter how hard I try, the only thing that goes through my head is, "YES! Awesome! Now I can date her!" Even though I know I'll never date her. I know that I'm greedy, but damn, am I really -that- greedy?

John, the president's canary is being held hostage in Syria

Feeling: Happy


Who are you people?! I keep getting more and more people following my Twitter and Live Journal accounts. I've never posted on my Twitter or Live Journal pages. There isn't anything there to follow! I don't even know who your people are! What kind of crazy world is this!? Not that I'm complaining... I like the attention! :-)

Want to provoke a geek into an argument? Try these lines, and then the sequel.

Gasp, even good old-fashioned mob book burnings aren't safe anymore. What is this world coming to? While I fully agree with any group's right to publicly burn books that they dislike (provided fire codes are not broken), I don't see how pulling a book out of a public library, and thereby preventing other people from reading it, constitutes freedom of speech. Nor do I see why a bunch of old people think they deserve $120,000 for being offended by reading a book about a gay teenager. Kind of sick, if you ask me. They should be reading about gay people their own age.

You've heard me bitch about Zicam before, and I'm doing it again because the FDA just issued a warning to the makers of Zicam, telling them that they can't sell Zicam swabs anymore until first receiving FDA approval. For those of you who aren't aware, Zicam is marketed as a cold relief product. However, Zicam is supposedly homeopathic. The active ingredient in homeopathic products is water, but homeopathic practitioners believe that the water is magically charged with special healing powers (I'm not making this up). Unlike real homeopathic products, Zicam actually contains a measurable amount of an active ingredient, zinc. Because it has zinc, Zicam is -not- homeopathic, but it's still marketed as homeopathic to avoid having to get FDA approval. Some of the Zicam products involve taking a swab covered in zinc gel and shoving it up your nose. This practice has one minor side-effect, namely it has caused over 130 users to lose their sense of smell! In 2006, the makers of Zicam had to pay out $12 million dollars in a lawsuit so that they wouldn't have to admit any wrong doing. To this day, the makers of Zicam claim that their products are completely safe and the loss of smell their customers experienced should be attributed to their colds--really caring people. Zicam has been on the shelves for over 10 years, it is not what it claims to be, and it's destroyed the sense of smell for over 100 people. Now the FDA decides to take action?

Happy Bloomsday

Feeling: Happy


Self-proclaimed psychic, Rosemary Altea, got scammed out of $200,000. Wow, you think she would has saw that coming, you know, what with being psychic and all.

Arizona actually is a back-water as you always thought. When two city council candidates received the same number of votes, they decided to cut cards to see who should win. One of them even suggested a paintball duel, but the other wouldn't consent. The city's lawyer ended up drafting two pages of rules for how the cards would be cut. Now there's important use of city time!

Science has had it share of incredibly unethical tests. Like these, for example.

I'm looking at a way to put a thumbnail of the latest The Blasphemer's Bible on the main page so I don't have to plug it every day. In the mean time, vote for it!

I completed Hero's Arms today. Beat the game, all items, weapons, armor, discovered all bestiary, and max level. w00t!

When I'm holdin' your wheel, all I hear is your gear

Feeling: Elated


The weekend was good times. I looked at getting a new TV, one of those big HD flat panel dealies. I think I found the one I want... it costs more than my first car. I played airsoft into the wee hours of the morning with my homies. I got shot in the butt. On Sunday I got to hang with Nichole. We talked about all the exciting things we've been up to (it took about eight seconds).

I was up pas 1:00 AM last night playing Learn to Fly. It's a fun penguin-themed Flash game.

I got Chloe back today! It's so nice to have a real car again! I got her on the expressway and effortlessly revved her up to 90. Ah, the power!

English aficionados will extol this treatise on the most abstruse vocables in the NY Times.

This little boy is going to be the coolest kid in elementary school!

The Blasphemer's Bible continues. We're on week three!

Chloe, Chloe... wherefore art thou Chloe?

Feeling: Frustrated


Chloe is -still- in the shop. After getting the service history of the vehicle, it turns out that her previous owner also had problems with the airbag as well. At least now I have a loaner car to drive around which will give me back my independence for the weekend, and also create incentive for the dealer to get the problem fixed as soon as possible.

Think you can tell when your dog did something wrong because they look guilty? Think again!

The Creation "Museum" (quotes added because I'm mocking their use of "museum") is sponsoring Bobby Hamilton Jr.'s car in the Meijer 300 race for NASCAR. If you thought that NASCAR watchers are redneck hicks who still believe that the Sun rotates around the Earth and that Satan put dinosaur bones in the ground to trick us into believing in evolution... well, you've been proven correct!

My sunburn has reached the gross peeling stage. My skin is sloughing off. I feel like a leper. Or Madonna.

The Blasphemer's Bible. Read it.

Soon we'll manufacture replicas, it's all replaceable

Feeling: Annoyed


I had to get a ride home from work last night because the dealer needed a new part for my car. So, my co-worker Jon dropped me off in front of my apartment. As I was walking in, I realized that the dealership had my apartment key. I didn't expect them to keep my car over-night, so I just handed them my whole keyring. Thankfully, I stopped my co-worker before he drove off. Jackie had my spare key, but she was still at work. So, Jon and I went to dinner to wait for her to get home. The new part came in for my car today, so got back to working on her. I called to check up on her before my lunch break, and they told me that she would be ready later in the day. So, I called later in the day, and they told me that they wouldn't have her ready today either. Dammit! Apparently, there is something going haywire in the electrical system. They expect to have her fixed by tomorrow. They better, or else... or else... Yeah, I've got nothing.

Your vitamin suppliments might be killing you. Yay!

Good job Obama! Appointing an anti-choice, anti-brith control, to the Department of Health and Human Services. Brilliant!

New panel in The Blasphemer's Bible! It's finally made it past Genesis 1:1.

You'll trap the stars in jars and line them along your walls

Feeling: Sad


Chloe is under the knife right now. The dealer has to replace the entire airbag system. For the duration, I'm Chloe-less... I miss her.

I had a very productive day at work today! It makes me feel manly. A couple bug fixes, some new fields in the tables, improved user-interfaces... Yeah, I rock!

Did you know that The Blasphemer's Bible has a new panel? Don't forget to vote.

Listen to Electric President. They have a wonderful fusion of electronica and mellow rock.

A steady hum of nothing is all that fills the air.

Feeling: Okay


My sunburn is almost down to tolerable levels. I was able to take a shower this morning without wincing in pain every few seconds. Nice.

And since it has only been 24 hours since I last plugged it, visit The Blasphemer's Bible! I've made it a little more IE compatible for those of you who are still in the stone age of the Internet.

I'm still playing Hero's Arms. I've made it past the halfway point. Go me!

Damn hax0rs!

Feeling: Annoyed


My site was hacked again. Lame. I've been tracking it down and it appears to be a problem with insecure FTP use. Although I switched passwords when I last corrected the problem, I've read that there may be a trojan on a computer that is FTPing to my site. All of the computers that I FTP on have a clean bill of health from AVG and Spybot, but I'm going to try a couple other scanners to see if I can pinpoint the problem.

While I was supposed to get my airbag sensor fixed on Saturday, there was some miscommunication at the Saab dealer (aka, they screwed up). This has pushed the repair date to this Wednesday. Pretty annoying, but the people were genuinely apologetic, so I'll give them the benefit of the doubt. That, and the next closest Saab dealer is an hour drive away.

I was outside without a shirt on for about an hour on Saturday. One hour was just enough time to give me a nice painful sunburn all over my back and shoulders. Wow, my skin is a wuss.

The Blasphemer's Bible is still chugging along. Vote vote vote!

All Abrahamic religions agree: Men are better than women. Religion needs suffragettes.

Chloe gets fixed tomorrow!

Feeling: Excited


Another Blasphemer's Bible panel is up. I swear a punch line is coming up soon! Be sure to be democratic and vote!

I have a couple of barn swallows that have setup a nest in my carport. I always freak them out every time I get into, or out of, my car. While it's been interesting to see them so close up, I'm very much ready for them to take their hatchlings and vamoose. My car looks like a practical joke with the large about of avian feces on it. I'm not a big enough jerk to tear apart their nest, but I am vain enough to want a poop-free car. Oh the hardships I have to live through!

I was at Hot Topic last night, checking out their list of upcoming shows, and I noticed that CCR was on the list. I was a bit flummoxed by this, since the kind of people who shop at Hot Topic usually don't have the decency to appreciate good old American swamp rock. I can't disregard Hot Topic patrons entirely, since I'm one of them, and I like CCR. However, my fears were confirmed when I asked the young woman at the register if the CCR on the board was actually Credence Clearwater Revival (or Credence Clearwater Revisited, as the project is called now). She said she'd never heard of them. At first I thought she was pulling my chain, but she was serious. I sang the first line to "Bad Moon Rising" to her, but she'd never heard it. What kind of world do we live in where teenagers are allowed to roam the streets freely without knowing the music of CCR? As it turns out, Credence Clearwater Revisited is playing here on the 12th, but somehow I don't think they'll get much patronage from the Hot Topic tykes.

There's nothing new to think that hasn't been thought of before

Feeling: Happy


I've added a link to The Blasphemer's Bible on the main page. See it over there? Go check out the new comic and vote for me!

Betty Bowers explains a traditional Christian marriage.

About a week and a half ago the airbag sensor for the passenger set in my car went bad. It's no big deal because it's covered under my warranty. However, being a rather rare problem, the dealership had to special order the replacement part. Waiting for the part to arrive has been an excruciating process. About every 15 seconds or so I hear the chime, and the idiot light comes up and tells me that my airbag isn't working. It doesn't sound like a big deal, but it just keeps chiming and chiming, over and over again... it's like Chinese water torture (which, oddly enough, was never used in China). The worst part is that it's the passenger airbag; as if I care about my passenger's life! Of course, I had the problem over the Memorial Day weekend, so all the GM shipping was shut down, and even when the distribution centers were back up and running, the part was lost in shipping. GAH! Suffice to say, I'm -really- ready to get this damn thing fixed this Saturday.

There's a new version of DOS Box out.

From the sky, the train tracks look like stitches
Like they're holding the world together; like it'll blow any minute

Feeling: Happy


Yet another panel in The Blasphemer's Bible. Thank you to everyone who's reading and voting. The comic has jumped from 5,000th place to 500th place in only three days!

Steve Wiebe is trying to win $10,001 in quarters at E3 by recapturing his #1 Donkey Kong title. Good luck Steve!

Want a car that's an unstoppable killing machine? Here's how!

Ask me why you deserve Hell.

It turns out the ISPs don't care about the RIAA after all!

Never gonna give you up...

Feeling: Okay


There is another comic panel in The Blasphemer's Bible. I've setup the page to automatically update every weekday with the next comic. Hey, you know what you should do? You should click on the vote button below the comic so that I can rise up the ranks at topwebcomics.com. In fact, you should do that every day, just out of necessity.

If you need another Flash game to play, try Hero's Arms. Thanks DoomRater.

I'm now special because I have a web comic

Feeling: Injured


I had a pretty awesome weekend. On Saturday I went to the Halfway to Halloween ball at The Crofoot in Pontiac. I danced like a madman through the set of a band that reminded me of White Zombie. I looked very manly with red and black zebra striped women's pants, a yellow and black zebra striped women's shirt (with fish-net backing), yellow eye-shadow, and my hair in pigtails. The best part of the night was getting to look at all the sexy women in scantly clad costumes.

On Sunday, I drove back down to Marshall to enjoy the last day of Mayfaire. I got to say hullo to all my homies one last time, though, I'll no doubt see them again at a few more faires this year. The dancing, combined with walking all day at the faire has left me nice and sore, but in a good way.

My web comic is now officially online! Unlike regular comics, which do one strip every couple days or so, I'm only doing one panel each weekday. While this won't be as funny as regular strips, it'll allow me time to have a life outside of the web comic. Anyway, without further ado, take a look at The Blasphemer's Bible. For the Christian readers of my site whom I haven't completely alienated, don't worry; this won't be a venomous attack on Christianity. Instead, the comic will make light of the many absurdities and contradictions in the bible.

Listening to Oprah might be incredibly unhealthy? Who'd have thunk it? Oh yeah, Newsweek.

Maybe I was a huge nerd in high school, but at least I wasn't as sad as Stefanie Zaner who had perfect attendance for all 13 years of grade school.

Can an Archbishop really be this stupid? In his new memoirs, Archbishop Rembert Weakland says that he didn't realize that sexually molesting children was illegal. He knew it was morally wrong, but he just though the abused children would "grow out of it".

Science vs. Scientology. Who has the more accurate timeline of the universe? The same can be said for the Science vs. Creationism timeline.