September, 2009

I would change for you but, babe, that doesn't mean I'm gonna be a better man

Feeling: Happy

2009/09/30

Enjoy bizarre cloud phenomena and the physics behind them.

Candy Land is becoming a movie people. This is for realz!

Today is Blasphemy Day International. To celebrate, you should read, and vote for, the Blasphemer's Bible, which, by the way, now has its very own web domain, www.blasphemersbible.com!

Barney, you've ruined this kid's sexuality.

Cheerleaders in Chattanooga, TN are no longer allowed to hold up signs of a religious nature at school football games. This is clearly a matter of the students violating the first amendment of the US constitution, and I applaud those who stopped them. They were not only creating a hostile environment for every non-Christian at the school, but, as you can read from the quotes in the article, the people don't even understand why our country has a separation between church and state. In a country where so many people were freaking out over the possibility that our president may have been a Muslim at some point in the past, you'd think that they'd have some idea of the problem.


It's yours to suspend disbelief and let it be like this

Feeling: Happy

2009/09/29

Enjoy liquid art using a high-speed camera: One and Two

I started this day with a physical at my doctor's office, but I received a clean bill of health; good to know.

Fig leaf fashion make its first ever appearance in the Blasphemer's Bible.

Human Tetris is AWESOME!


If you came back as the deep sea, I would come back as the salt

Feeling: Dazed

2009/09/28

I went for a 6-mile hike with my friend Robin on Sunday. My body is a little stiff, but totally worth it for the exercise.

Don't forget, all you fundamentalists, there are no transitional forms.

Back in May, Thomas and Manju Sam were arrested for the death of their daughter. The couple were using homeopathic tinctures to try and cure their daughter's eczema. While they believed that homeopathic tinctures were medicine, they are actually completely useless, as numerous clinical trials have shown. Their daughter eventually died in 2002 and the couple were arrested for it in 2005. Well, they have finally been sentenced for their gross negligence; 6-8 years for the father and 4-5 years for the mother. If you're not familiar with homeopathy, you can find an illustrated guide here that explains how ludicrous it is.

For some reason the left side of my jaw is sore and it hurts when I yawn. I can't think of anything that would cause it to be sore though.

Snakes can be very convincing as you can see in the Blasphemer's Bible.

What's the harm with magical thinking? Well, there's always murder.


A symbol of evil will appaer when you strike the stake

Feeling: Happy

2009/09/25

For those of you who didn't see it yesterday, my Castlevania II: Simon's Redaction hack can be downloaded.

It took over a million spiders, but a large textile has been created entirely out of spider silk! It's stronger than steel, and only took four years to make.

Duckie makes another appearance in the Blasphemer's Bible.

Fans of SkyRoads will appreciate this flash game called simply called Run. Thank Beau!

Putting the wrong end boss in a videogame is awesome.

Does your favorite sci-fi film have a gaping plot hole? You betcha!


You now prossess a dictionary

Feeling: Happy

2009/09/24

My Castlevania II: Simon's Quest dialog hack is ready for open beta. Download Simon's Redaction and tell me what you think!

Doctors in Thailand have successfully administered an HIV vaccine that's over 30% effective. In other science news, water has officially been discovered on the Moon!

It's very exciting to be living in a time when scientific breakthroughs happen on a daily basis, but let's not forget the crazies out there who think science is evil. Thankfully, they keep rearing their idiotic heads to give the rest of us something to laugh at. Take child-actor Kirk Cameron for example. Remember him from Growing Pains? Well, he's a fundamentalist Christian these days, which has limited his acting career to movie adaptations of the awful Left Behind series and not a whole lot more. He and his fundie buddies have created their own version of Charles Darwin's "Origin of Species". In it, they add a 50 page introduction that not only claims that the entire book is false, but that Darwin hated women, was a racist, and was responsible for the Nazis. Seriously. Cameron's group, Living Waters, is going to distribute 100,000 free copies of this book on the campuses of major schools all over the country. They're using the typical dishonest bait-and-switch tactics of Christians; nowhere on the cover of the book does it mention that it's an altered version, and they won't mention it when they hand them out. Luckily, a large number of people who are think that spreading lies about important scientific discoveries is a bad thing are planning to get their hands on as many copies of the book as possible in order to rip out the 50 page bullshit introduction, and then donate the proper "Origin of Species" to libraries, charities, etc.

There's a scheming snake in The Blasphemer's Bible.

More New Music:
Electric Owls - Magic Show
Los Campesinos - Death to Los Campesinos!
Sharon Van Etten - For You
Slow Club - It Doesn't Have to Be Beautiful
The Sounds - Sleep All Summer
St. Vincent and The National - 4 Songs & a Fight

There is indeed a sucker born every minute. Several businessmen were scammed out of tens-of-thousands of dollars because they gave their money to some conmen who claimed to had a special chemical that could duplicate cash. MORONS!


Beware the graveyard duck!

Feeling: Happy

2009/09/23

Microsoft just earned a patent for... missing the boat. Well, actually, they received a patent on DRM peer-to-peer networks. First of all, they should never have received a patent. Patents exist to protect new innovation and both DRM and peer-to-peer networks are old hat. Putting the two together is like putting bread and butter together and thinking you've got the invention of the century. The real joke of the patent is that they're going after a market that has already proven itself unwanted. Other companies, like Apple and Amazon, have realized that people want to own their music, not just lease it for awhile, and have kicked DRM (digital restrictions management) to the curb. Who knows what Microsoft has in store for their crappy patent?

The Blasphemer's Bible hints at bestiality... again!

New Music:
Ash - Return of White Rabbit
Blitzen Trapper - Black River Killer
Cosmo Jarvis - Mel's Song
Dan Black - Symphonies
The Danks - Die Young
Drug Rug - Never Tell (No official)

I've updated all of the dialog in Simon's Quest now except for the endings. I should have a beta version ready by tomorrow. I've decided that I'm going to leave the rest of the game as-is, and maybe later create a hack that will fix the problems with the game mechanics like the super easy bosses, annoying water in towns, large empty sections, etc.


The morning sun has vanquished the horrible night

Feeling: Happy

2009/09/22

Today is wet, foggy, and probably going to get rainy. It marks the last day of this abysmal summer. Hopefully, there will be a nice long mild autumn, an intense, but brief winter, a rapidly warming spring, followed by a long hot summer next year. A man can dream, can't he?

I've added more screenshots to the NES Religion page. Spy Hunter has been added, and five more images have been added to Castlevania II. I've also added hacking notes for Blues Brothers (Invincibility, and infinite hit points), and Rolling Thunder (infinite time, infinite ammo, infinite hit points).

The Blasphemer's Bible prepares for the serpent.

Want to change the world? Take a look at these crazy ideas that just might work.

My retranslation of Simon's Quest is almost complete. I've got the new script taken care of, but I still need to integrate it into the game. I've been trying to disassemble the boss code in order to make the bosses actually difficult, but it's a very complex procedure, and I don't know if I'm up to the task.


What a horrible night to have a curse!

Feeling: Happy

2009/09/21

My weekend was pretty spiffy. Amber stayed over so she could get to the Renaissance Festival early, I went on Saturday dressed all piratey, and had a fun time. I spent a good portion of the weekend hacking Castlevania II: Simon's Quest. My intent is to improve the game to the point where it's playable without having to resort to a walkthrough every five minutes. Currently, I've increased the speed of the text on the screen, and decreased the time delay between day and night transitions. I've almost finished all the new dialog.

The Blasphemer's Bible continues unabated!

Forget about vaccinations! A Canadian homeopath touts that H1N1 (swine flu) could be best cured by ingesting a small amount of water. She also suggests that if you child steps on broken glass or rusty nails, you should apply... you guessed it, water! Once again, homeopathy is an effective way to promote eugenics. Only the people smart enough not to use it will survive, and thus our species will evolve more intelligently.

In a related article, Suzanne Somers (she's an actor, not a doctor), said that doctors killed Patrick Swayze by treating him with chemotherapy. She asks the brilliant question, "Why couldn't they have built him up nutritionally and gotten rid of the toxins?" Yes, because a few vitamin C capsules can cure cancer, didn't you know? Oh, I'm sorry, he didn't have cancer, he had toxins.


When there weren't any parties, sometimes she'd party with townies

Feeling: Excited

2009/09/18

One of my favorite Flint restaurants has closed. The writing was on the wall, often times I would be the only person eating there, and this went on for over a year. The real problem was that they were a rib joint, and just a few buildings down was a Famous Dave's, that not only had better food, but gave you more of it. Actually, the only reason I liked the restaurant was because it had several attractive waitresses that had plenty of time to talk to me because there was so much down time. It's depressing to think that they've all just lost their jobs, in Michigan, when we have the worst unemployment rate in almost 30 years.

People seriously Google some weird phrases.

Visit the Blasphemer's Bible. It has beer -and- sex!

I recently bought some new towels. They're really fuzzy, and as such, have been leaving fuzz all over my bathroom, on my freshly dried clothes, and on my skin. I look like a walking lint trap, but the wonderful feeling I get when I get out of the shower and dry myself off is so worth it.

I'm having dinner with my friend Wallee tonight! w00t!


I'm not finished, I'm not finished!

Feeling: Happy

2009/09/17

What would happen if videogames were more realistic? Hilarious!

I don't even like tennis, but I still find this to be impressive.

Visit the Blasphemer's Bible. It has beer!

Here's an interesting article called Man vs. God. It recounts the history of science and religion as they diverged.

There's a Harry Potter amusement park. I want to go!


I'm just sittin' here watching the wheels go 'round and 'round.

Feeling: Happy

2009/09/16

Here's an interesting story about three teenagers who were ejected from a ballpark for failing to stand during the singing of "God Bless America". They're suing the ballpark, claiming that their constitutional rights have been violated. I'm actually siding with the ballpark on this case because, as a privately owned business, they should be allowed to eject anyone they choose for whatever reason they want. If they want to be ritualistic closed-minded sheep-herders, that is their constitutional right. Now, if this event was held on public property, I would side with the teens all the way.

Did you know you could read the Blasphemer's Bible? It's true!

I get to have dinner with Nichole and Noah tonight, because I'm so cool!


Hate yourself because you're ugly

Feeling: Happy

2009/09/15

Bow season is very important in Michigan. No really, I mean, very important. How important, you ask? Important enough to bring God into the mix. Really!

The Blasphemer's Bible gets into some crazy Voodoo magic.

Kevin Trudeau, convicted of fraud, banned from television from the FTC, and seller of those bullshit health and diet books, was recently fined $37.6 million. Trudeau, true to form, claims he can't pay the fine because he has already lost all of his money and that his television appearances were done for free because he wanted to help people. Of course, when grilled, Trudeau's financial advisor claims that Trudeau is actually worth about $121 million.

Discover Magazine has an interesting article on the groups who try to deconvert homosexuals and their abysmal success rates.

I want a pool like these.

I saw a girl's profile on OK Cupid where she mentioned that she liked getting "waisted" with her friends. It was a pretty clever pun which I assumed to mean that she liked going out with her friends and eating a lot of junk food. Sadly, the rest of her profile was misspelled in not so punny ways, so I can only assume that she doesn't know the difference between "waste" and "waist".


Don't hate me because I'm beautiful

Feeling: Content

2009/09/14

A couple of years ago Clairol decided to revamp their Herbal Essence product line. I tried their new product, only to find that my hair scoffed at its inferior detangling properties. This depressed me greatly because I had been using Herbal Essence shampoo and conditioner for close to 10 years now as it was the only product that made my hair smooth and manageable. Well, in order to stave off unhappy hair for a couple years, I bought the entire stock of the old-style Herbal Essence shampoo and conditioner from every local store—at my peak, I had close to 40 bottles. A week ago, I finished up my last bottle, and became distraught. I tried a couple other brands, but they were ineffective at making my hair happy. I didn't want to succumb to $25-a-bottle brands like Bed Head or Paul Mitchell, but, feeling desperate, it was becoming my only option. Luckily, I found an affordable replacement that smells great and even makes my hair more manageable than before! My new hair care product of choice is Pantene Pro-V "Beautiful Lengths". My hair is happy once more.

I had a nice long weekend. Friday evening I went to The Rocky Horror Show with Jackie. After I dropped Jackie off I met with Amber who was crashing at my apartment so she wouldn't have to drive so far to get to the Michigan Renaissance Festival. Saturday morning I went running with Nate, Erika, and Kayla. In the afternoon I headed down to East Lansing to hang out with Meghan, whom I haven't seen in about a year. Sunday morning I ran some more, and then had lunch with Robin. Overall, it was a wonderful weekend spent with several wonder women. Good times.

The Blasphemer's Bible contains roofies, so you know it's on the level.

A new high score for Pac-Man has been set!

As one who has broken an arm on a trampoline, I can assure you that trampolines are dangerous!

Sometimes nature is really freaking creepy!


It's astounding... time is fleeting!

Feeling: Excited

2009/09/11

It still amazes me how vividly I remember the events of the terrorist attacks from eight years ago. It still seems unreal.

What would happen if you printed the Internet?

The Blasphemer's Bible features Adam chasing after a pig! Hurray!

I'm going to see The Rocky Horror Show tonight with Jackie. It's just a jump to the left.


It's no longer 09/09/09!

Feeling: Frustrated

2009/09/10

Is there hope for humanity? I'm not so sure. Phyllis Bacon, a woman from New Addington, randomly snapped a picture of her backyard at night and captured an out-of-focus insect. But no, it's not an insect, Bacon claims, it's a fairy! Yes, an honest-to-goodness supernatural mystical fairy was hobnobbing in her garden for whatever reason. Bacon knows this to be true because she claims to have "scoured" the Internet trying to find a picture of a moth or beetle that resembles the amorphus blob she accidentally captured. Apparently, other insect photographers are not as inept with cameras as she, because all their pictures are in-focus and don't have drowned out colors from flash glare. Phyllis Bacon... you're a moron.

Behold as Adam names every single living animal species in the Blasphemer's Bible!

The Fighting Tigers, a high school football team in Canada, was recently subjected to a mass-baptism. The team's coach, Scott Mooney, decided to take his players, without any approval from their parents, to church and baptized them! For some strange reason, some of the parents are outraged.

I saw a praying mantis on a gas station pump. They're so cool looking! I want one!


It's 09/09/09!

Feeling: Happy

2009/09/09

The lecture, last night, on atheism was very informative and entertaining. Once again I am reminded that atheists are good, friendly people.

The Blasphemer's Bible STILL has Guinea pigs!

What happens when a Bangladeshi newspaper believes that The Onion is a real and respectable news journal? They reprint an satirical article about the moon landing hoax as fact!


Tragedy storm him when demons spare her life and all discover, she has a demonheart

Feeling: Excited

2009/09/08

The weekend was a lot of fun. I ran quite a bit. By myself after work on Friday, with June and Nate at noon on Saturday, and with Devin at 11 Sunday morning. My calves are getting nice and muscular, but the flab around my midsection refuses to budge. Lame. Aside from running over the weekend, I picked up a new pair of sneakers. It's my first pair of Vans since I couldn't find a decent pair of Airwalks to replace my dying pair. I also watched Kiki's Delivery Service for the first time, and it was pretty good. It wasn't Spirited Away or Princess Mononoke, but still good. Also, I was at Sarah's cookout on Monday; good times.

The Blasphemer's Bible has Guinea pigs. What more do you people want?

Want to know how many people are in space right now?

Tonight, I'm heading down to a lecture in Birmingham about atheism. It should be quite interesting!


Labor day, shamber day, what a dumb day

Feeling: Excited

2009/09/04

The MPAA is an evil dictatorship. By the way, you can download movies for free at these fine pirate organizations: mininova.org, thepiratebay.org, and isohunt.com.

Health Warning: Exercise Makes You Fat!--that is an actual headline in The Telegraph. Yes, they're serious. Yes, they're wrong.

Read the Blasphemer's Bible and we'll be bestest friends forever!

Criminals beware, not all old ladies are sweet.

The top ten worst computer viruses, and I've never gotten any of them.

Screenshots from Final Fantasy, Hydlide, and River City Ransom have been added to the NES Religion page.

Enjoy the three-day weekend. I need to find some black women's vinyl pants for a costume. Wish me luck!


Who can make up these endless refrains like Gaston?

Feeling: Sleepy

2009/09/03

How well do you know your Troy McClure movies versus real movies?

Wireless electricity is making strides. Yes, you read that correctly.

The Blasphemer's Bible. Read!

Take a look at some old web pages from the day they were launched.


Finally!

Feeling: Relieved

2009/09/02

So, after arriving over an hour early at work to stay on top of the huge software change, and after running around like a chicken with its head cut off all day at work trying to automate the updates, I'm finally finished with the fixes. Is it nap time yet?

Aliens have reached the limit of knowledge they can retrieve from crazy loners in the middle of the woods.

Enjoy the beauty of the Tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil in the Blasphemer's Bible.

I added screenshots from Athena, King Neptune's Adventure, and StarTropics II to the NES Religion page.


BLARRRG!

Feeling: Annoyed

2009/09/01

What a way to start the month! One of our main software partners at work made a huge change that affected several of our clients. I had to rapidly conceive, write, debug, and implement a massive software update.

No updates today, but luckily, the Blasphemer's Bible gets updated about a week in advance.