July, 2010

On the road again

Feeling: Excited


More slow motion destruction. I especially love the egg on the mousetrap.

I've made a large update for DOOM in the VGMPF Wiki.

The priest who gave a dog a communion wafer has issued a public apology. Really? Really?! Is that what your religion has come to?

A jury in St. Louis has ruled that, if you are at a club where someone is filming a "Girls Gone Wild" video, and someone comes up to you and tears your clothes off, on camera, then you have no legal recourse to prevent your nude body from being mass-marketed. That makes me wonder, what exactly was going through the heads of the jury that they could reach such a decision? I think the jury believed that the girl deserved punishment for being at the club and dancing on camera. Let's assume that you're just walking down the street, and two people run up to you, rip off your clothes, film the assault, and sell it online. Now, in such a situation, any rational person would call such an action illegal and morally wrong. The only difference between these two scenarios is that the girl was in a bar, she was dancing, and she was aware that the Girls Gone Wild camera was rolling. So, even though she didn't want to have her breasts exposed, the fact that she was willing to dance on camera made her a bad enough girl to deserve what she got. This is the same mentality that rapists use when they say a girl who was dressed in skimpy clothes deserved to get raped, and Christians who say girls who have sex deserve to get pregnant.

This lady wants to be a sheep for Jesus. I can't say that I've ever wanted to be part of the flock so much that I would baa like her.

I'm leaving tomorrow morning for Kansas City, MO. I'm going to visit my friend Kimberly and attend her wedding. I won't be back until Tuesday. Be sure to check the Blasphemer's Bible while I'm gone!

A 13 hour drive... what have I done?

Feeling: Bizarre


Did some packing last night. I have to get everything ready for my trip to Missouri. I need to wash my remaining dirty laundry to have it ready.

Esau gets a mission in the Blasphemer's Bible.

There is a man named John Mantooth running for District Judge, whose children created a web site telling people not to vote for him!

I've been making strides towards converting the old VGMPF database into the new Wiki. The is now code to redirect users to the games and formats that have been fully converted.

Here's what the scientists have to say about evolution.

The US government issued a big middle finger to Apple by saying it is perfectly legal for iPhone users to alter their iPhones to use carriers other than AT&T. The fact that there was even a question about the legality of altering a product that you bought and own is pretty embarrassing in and of itself.

I wish I had a twin just for this purpose.

God's the one who gave you the cancer

Feeling: Sleepy


The Skeptics In the Pub gathering was great; there were a couple of new faces there and a lot of enlightening conversation. Saturday and Sunday was spent with Emily. We went fishing, dined out a couple of times, and paid a visit to Kayla and Bob.

Ever want to take a skateboard on the highway and ride downhill over 60 MPH... barefoot??

There was a cute little incident at an Anglican church a few days ago. A man went up to receive communion (a gross crispy wafer of bread and some sour grape juice), and his dog followed. The minister gave the man the crispy cracker, and then, to be cute, gave the dog one as well. Everyone in the church smiled and thought it was cute. Everyone, except for one person who was quite sure that his god didn't want dogs eating the crouton of Christ. He complained to the church's bishop, and the bishop decided to ban all dogs from ever eating communion wafers ever again! Praise the LORD!

Esau marries some Hittites in the Blasphemer's Bible.

Here are ten newly discovered species.

When your child has a huge mass growing over their eye, don't you think you should take them to the doctor? Nah, just ask God to heal her. What? God didn't heal her after all? Well, the Lord works in mysterious ways. So mysterious, in fact, that this family has a history of God being mysterious to them. The father's previous wife died of breast cancer and never sought medical treatment, only prayer.

There's a lake and at the bottom you'll find all our friends, they don't swim cause they're all dead

Feeling: Annoyed


Someone came through and removed the nest of the barn swallows in my carport. I'm not sure it it was maintenance, one of the people next to me, or just some punk kids, but the two swallows have been looking around for it for awhile now. While I'm probably appreciate having less bird excrement on my car, it's kind of a cruel thing to do. Even if you couldn't care about destroying the home and young of another species, you should at least care about all the insects that the birds will no longer be eating.

I'm against censorship in general, but I understand that children shouldn't be exposed to extremely graphic material at a young age. And where does most extremely graphic material come from? That's right, religion. Luckily, there is a new web filter called God Block, that will keep your young web surfers safe.

We've reached comic #300 in the Blasphemer's Bible.

The Westboro Baptists (AKA the "God Hates You" group) protested Comic Con, but was severely out-classed by the creativity of a bunch of geeks. See their anti-protest signs here.

Ever wondered about the proper way to say "octopus" in plural form?

Here's a video that demonstrates some fun party magic.

I'm off to a CFI event tonight. Tah tah!

The SS gonna get you!

Feeling: Nerdy


I woke up to this rather unusual dream of having my brain put into someone else's body. I didn't seem to mind it until I looked in the mirror and found myself to be a short chubby teenager! After that, I had to wake up an hour earlier than normal so I could be tortured at the dentist. No cavities though, and my teeth are shiny and less tea-stained.

The Wolfenstein 3D soundtrack has been modified and added into the VGMPF Wiki along with some new original MIDI files. I also updated the old PHP code to redirect to the Wiki for finished games.

All your favorite Mortal Kombat fatalities created with paper dolls.

This chick makes some seriously messed up porcelain figurines.

Isaac gets blessed by God and decides to dig more wells in the Blasphemer's Bible.

Remember that poor girl whose school would rather cancel the prom than let her attend wearing something that wasn't a dress? Well, she had her day in court, and won!

At the building where I work there is a guy who doesn't understand men's bathroom etiquette, and strikes up conversations with you while you're peeing. Today, he stood at the restroom door, waiting for me to finish, and talking about nighttime cat fishing. At least he didn't try to shake my hand when I left.

I can tell undoubted Raphaels from Gerard Dows and Zoffanies

Feeling: Nerdy


As expected, BP is still lying to us. They released a photo of their spill "command center", and only a few seconds later people began to notice that the picture contained obvious signs of photo-editing. Bloggers all over the web called BP out on their obvious forgery, so BP released the "original" photo showing that several of their screens weren't even on. Critics fired back saying that the content of the screens shows that they were displaying data from 2001! BP claims that the 2001 timestamp is there because they had to rent cameras, and those cameras have the wrong date on them. Sure, I trust you now.

Even the most shrewd businessmen would have a hard time turning a cellphone into a Porsche through a number of online trades.

Now this is a passive aggressive message I can agree with!

In California, whooping cough is five times more prevalent than it was last year, and the number of deaths has so far doubled. Great work anti-vaxers. But, I do have to admit, the dead children aren't autistic, so I guess you were right all along.

Isaac gets blessed by God and decides to dig more wells in the Blasphemer's Bible.

50 videogame spoilers.

What heist were you watching?

Feeling: Creative


I beat Super Tecmo Bowl for the NES last night. It was my very first time playing the game all the way through, and I have to admit that the experience has really lowered my appeal of the game. Super Tecmo Bowl suffers greatly from a "cheating AI" problem. That is, rather than take the time to program a strong artificial intelligence to simulate a competent opponent, the game's programmers increase the game's difficulty by changing the rules of the game for the AI. At the beginning of the season, your defense of offense will be strong and you won't have much difficulty. However, as you near the end of the season, your players suddenly become the most inept pack of junior varsity losers ever to play the game, while the AI team shows off the best titan-like gridiron prowess ever seen. Your receivers suddenly can't complete a five-foot pass while your opponent's magically make the catch despite his three blockers. This kind of crap ruins any sense of fair play and it really turns me off to ever wanting to play it again. Kind of like fighting game AIs.

However, in a more positive videogame light, you know what I would love to see as a feature to first-person shooters? Various camera shots with bullet-time. You know how when you watch the demo of a driving/flying and they look so much cooler because you see everything with fly-by cameras? Wouldn't it be awesome to see a slow motion bullet whiz by your head? Or how about a close up on a headshot? It would really be cool to watch what a monster sees as he comes around the corner, briefly sees you, sees your gun, and then sees nothing ever again. Instead we're always stuck seeing everything through the player's eyes, missing out on all the cinema of the world.

I've added Doom II into the VGMPF Wiki along with some new original MIDI files.

Sarah Palin, being the superb (not at all imbecilic) wordsmith that she is, just coined a new word, "refudiate". Palin's portmanteau of "repudiate" and "refute" puts her right up there with other scribes and authors like Lewis Carroll and Shakespeare, at least in her mind. There is another word which is more apropos: illiterate.

Isaac starts digging new wells in the Blasphemer's Bible.

Preacher rants, God is gonna get you!

Feeling: Aggravated


On Saturday I went to the funeral of a friend's daughter. You should never have to see the funeral of a 2-year-old, and it's incredibly tragic to see how the child's death affects those who knew and loved her. However, my grief turned into anger at the funeral when the asshole preacher took the opportunity to turn the poor child's death into an advertisement for his religion. To paraphrase his eulogy: "God is loving, forgiving, and caring. He protects us from all harm. Except for this little girl who he allowed to die, but who are we to question his perfect wisdom. Now this innocent little girl who never did anything wrong is enjoying the beauty and wonder of the Christian Heaven. And one day, everyone here will see her again. Well, everyone here who loves Jesus that is; because if you don't love Jesus you're not going to get to Heaven! How can you see this wonderful child in Heaven if you're burning in the fiery pits of Hell? So, become Christian or suffer eternal damnation. Oh yes, and there was some kid who died or something; think about that too."

Trendy T-Shirt designs are becoming a bit too predictable these days.

I added the soundtrack of Radix: Beyond the Void to the VGMPF Wiki.

How are your Bomber Man bombing skills?

Steve Jobs doesn't apologize for the iPhone antenna problem. Instead, he says his product is the best ever, but offers a free case to help solve the problem that his stupid customers think exists, but in reality, doesn't. Luckily, when your customers are a bunch of hipsters, you can convince them that even faulty phones are worth $600 because they're cool looking.

It turns out that rubbing your students with holy lube is a good way to lose your job.

Isaac is kicked out of Gerar in the Blasphemer's Bible.

Whilst listening to the song "Anytime" by Eve 6 this weekend, I realized that the lyric "kiss your apocalypse" is actually meant to be "kiss your apoca-lips". It's a play on words and I can't believe it took me several years to notice it!

In your time, the innocence will fall away

Feeling: Pensive


Last night I was eating dinner and a group of Germans were seated next to me. One of them ordered a half-beer half-Coke mixture. I can't imagine that that tastes good.

Mississippi radio listeners are really big sissies. They even censor NPR!

Proof that parents are just as stupid as teens who are just as stupid as TV journalists. No, you cannot get high by listening to noise you complete morons.

Not like this is news, but it's worth repeating: Celebrities are stupid, and they get behind stupid causes.

More in the Videogame Music Preservation Foundation Wiki. This site has so much potential to grow now, it's crazy!

If you're Catholic, you should know that the Vatican just made a new law in their faith that ordaining a female priest is just as bad as raping a child.

A huge repeat occurs in the Blasphemer's Bible.

I shaved my beard off last night, so now, every time I look into the mirror I do a double-take.

I don't want to take advice from fools

Feeling: Okay


Dear, Tea Party; this is precisely why we don't take you seriously. If you want to be treated like adults, you'll have to stop proving Godwin right.

Argentina just legalized gay marriage. What's it feel like to be in a country that still favors rules of the Dark Ages? Well, I'll tell you!

Lots more updates in the Videogame Music Preservation Foundation Wiki, thanks to an email from John Romero.

Esau sells his birthright in the Blasphemer's Bible.

Call girls? How about call gods!?

I am so glad I don't have to handle car insurance claims in China. World's worst drivers!

Shriek the lips across ragged tongue

Feeling: Okay


Time-lapse braces on a really messed up maw.

Here's an interesting correlation for you to ponder. The more religious a region is, the more likely that region is to search for porn on the Internet. For example, Utah (the Mormon Mecca), tops the charts for the state that views the most porn. In fact, the states that have to most hateful attitude towards homosexuality, also view the most gay porn. This trend isn't limited to the USA--the ultra conservatives who live in the pure and wholesome country of Pakistan rank as #1 for Google searches for phrases like "donkey sex", "rape video", and "child sex". However, I'm sure that they're only searching for those terms to build a list of sites -not- to go to. I look at tons of porn myself, but at least I'm not a hypocrite about it.

I've added the single-song soundtrack of Catacomb 3-D to the Videogame Music Preservation Foundation Wiki.

Cops suck, and this is why.

Indiana public schools ban web sites where students might learn about LGBT culture, atheistic views, Earth-based religions, mysticism, and various other non-conservative views. However, sites dealing with Christianity or Judaism are perfectly acceptable. Apparently, Indiana schools feel it's helpful to have their students read about an invisible man in the sky who tortures anyone who doesn't love him, but it's psychologically damaging to to have them read literature that questions stereotypical gender roles.

Back to the regular comic in the Blasphemer's Bible.

I should really go to bed before 4:00 AM tonight

Feeling: Sleepy


A lot of people ask what is wrong with religion in moderation? Rational people have to admit that religious texts like the Bible and the Qur'an are chocked full of murder, rape, pillaging, and slavery, but they also recognize that wisdom and meaning can be found in the books as well. Also, when it comes to believers, rational people must admit that there are those who take it too far and form hate groups or blow themselves up, but the majority of believers are compassionate and forgiving and don't follow the extremes of their scriptures. The problem with most religions is that their foundation is based on scriptures that contain such terrible atrocities. A religious moderate may be rational and compassionate and realize that they are in no way harmed by someone else being gay or someone else worshiping a different god. However, there will always be a fundamentalist who can point to scripture which says they should be killing the wicked and stoning the unclean ones. It is the fundamentalists who are following the scriptures properly, and because of that, there will always be people like the Westboro Baptists. They may teach their toddlers that "God hates fags", they may disown their own daughter for merely questioning their message of hate, they may do all these things that even other Christians think are vile and detestable, but the Bible is on their side. And as long as people continue to get their morals from Bronze Age books, it will always be the psychotic hate-filled murderers who have scripture on their side.

Here's an unexpected shocker: Muslims put the cartoonist behind "Everybody Draw Mohammed Day" on their hit list. They've also created an acceptable men's hair styles chart. My two-foot long ponytail would never survive their standards.

Still showcasing some guest comics in the Blasphemer's Bible.

Okay, enough religious crap. Here's a hilarious video of Mega Man trying to cross a spike pit, and here is famous voice actor Billy West explaining how he came up with the voices of some of his more famous characters.

The Videogame Music Preservation Foundation Wiki has received a lot of updates lately.

Life's no fun without a good scare

Feeling: Sleepy


I had a nice active weekend. On Saturday, I went to my cousin's birthday party, and then on Sunday I went for a hike with Emily and Cody. Unfortunately, mosquitoes and rain made us cut the hike short, but we still had a fun time.

I'm showcasing some guest comics in the Blasphemer's Bible.

Brazil actually gets DRM right by putting a clause in their law that allows DRM cracking if the DRM was placed on something that is in the public domain (i.e., the DRM user doesn't even own in the first place).

If you haven't seen Steve Martin's atheist song take a look!

Seriously lady, your cat doesn't care if you scold it. In fact, it can't even understand you. Stop being a crazy cat lady!

Nifty to the X-treme!

Feeling: Happy


The act banning same-sex marriage at a federal level has a big strike against it from a Boston court.

A solar-powered plane just completed a non-stop 24-hour flight! The engineers are hoping to reach a point where they can keep the plane flying indefinitely.

This is a very sobering video about all of the nuclear bomb detonations that have occurred all over the world up to 1998. I never realized that there have been multiple thousands of nuclear bomb blasts on the Earth. Quite embarrassingly, the USA has been the cause of half of them.

Rebekah gives birth in the Blasphemer's Bible. Today is the last day of the contest!

Super Easy mode for videogames.

I've added a couple YouTube videos oh my Arkanoid hacks.

Every second, you're only second best

Feeling: Happy


I spent last night with the girlfriend eating foods I can't pronounce. Middle Eastern cuisine is delicious, but the people there must have stock on breath fresheners; everything has garlic in it!

Rebekah gets knocked up in the Blasphemer's Bible. One more day left in the contest!

My 4th of July fireworks haul.

What happens when a man who is flamboyantly gay attends a "gay-corrections" Christian camp and then creates a video about how you too can be saved from "the gay". You get Adam Hood's video. Granted, it's extremely hilarious to watch someone who is gayer than gay can be talk about how naughty it is to be gay, but it's also really sad to see someone so strongly deny who they are. You know that often touted line, "God didn't create Adam and Steve, he created Adam and Eve," well, it probably went something a bit more like this.

Yes, I do own a cat hat.

Dill pickle sunflower seeds are my best friends

Feeling: Happy


Stop animation can be really creepy at times!

Isaac marries Rebekah in the Blasphemer's Bible. Only two more days left in the contest!

Looming is an interesting adventure exploration game.

A priest has stolen $1.3 million from the Church and spent in on designer clothes and male escorts. Hey, at least he wasn't raping children!

Movies sure have had some cheesy lines through the years. Here are some of the worst. After you're done with those, next watch the top 100 insults.

America! FUCK YEAH!

Feeling: Okay


I had a wonderful three-day-weekend. On Saturday, Cody, Jesse, and I took a road trip down to Indiana and picked up $250 worth of fireworks. Sunday, Emily and I went to Bob & Kayla's with many other homies and had a fun 4th of July party into the wee hours of the morning. Monday, I did some shopping, cleaning, and got to have dinner with my friend Stephanie whom I haven't seen in two years.

I also beat DuckTales over the weekend and added the game to the NES Hacker Wiki.

Ishmael kicks the bucket in the Blasphemer's Bible. Still a couple more days left in the contest!

Aren't you glad your kid wasn't drafted for the NHL with these photographers covering the event? But, if you'd rather see some sports photos that look much more painful from a physical sense, check out these.

Here's an interesting list of firsts in photography.

Why do so few Americans accept evolution? Probably because their teachers don't even know what evolution is. If your students can't understand how "white" people evolved from "black" people "cuz dey have diffrunt skin", you're probably not a very good teacher.

Must not sleep...

Feeling: Sleepy


I awoke this morning at around 8:30 AM without my alarm going off. I grumbled to myself at the piece of junk was going to make me late for work again, but showered, brushed my teeth, dressed, and got to my car. I started it up, and just before I put it into reverse, I glanced at the clock, which read 7:55 AM. My brain, still quite groggy, cranked away for a moment, before I finally realized that the reason my alarm didn't go off was because I got up an hour earlier than I was supposed to, and I misread my alarm clock. Stupid brain! Why don't you work before noon?

Can you guess who said this about the massive gulf oil spill: "The ocean will take care of this on its own if it was left alone and left out there. It's natural. It's as natural as the ocean water is." If you guessed the fat idiotic bastard Rush Limbaugh, you're correct!

Some more exciting offspring lists can be found in the Blasphemer's Bible. And keep working on the contest!

Can you limbo under the height of a beer bottle? This guy can!

At work today, I was speaking to one of our clients in Texas. He was talking about hurricane Alex and said that it was "raining like big dog." For some reason I really enjoyed that simile. Probably because it doesn't make any sense at all.

Cardboard warfare is amazing.

Enjoy your 4th of July weekend everyone! Be sure to blow up a small portion of your lawn to celebrate your independence.

Hope you're happy now!

Feeling: Sleepy


This is precisely why you shouldn't be talking on your phone at a baseball game.

Some more exciting offspring lists can be found in the Blasphemer's Bible. And keep working on the contest!

Reducing our energy consumption would be too painful.

I've updated the NES Hacker Wiki with the following games: Duck Hunt, Batman, Batman: Return of the Joker, Arkanoid, and 10-Yard Fight

This is precisely why we shouldn't allow Christians to write text books. As many of my tech friends will notice, we actually -do- know what electricity is. However, John J. Smith, believer in all sorts of crazy whack-job bullshit, thinks he knows exactly what electricity is because he fired one of his workers because her unborn child had, get this, negative energy!

What happens when you put tape on a cat's fur?