Fourth of July At the Barber - 2010/05/13

I was at the barber with a woman, although the barber was just someone who cuts hair out of their second story apartment. We are waiting for the guy before us to get his hair cut. He's in his mid-20s, unkempt, and coughing up a lung. The girl I'm with is going through various magazines, trying to find the right hairstyle; I'm less than interested. Finally, the guy is done. He takes two empty water glasses over to the sink, I assume that he was using the water to help his cough, though it obviously didn't work.

The girl I'm with wants to get her hair cut next, but I notice that there are fireworks exploding in the air outside and realize that it's the 4th of July. I tell her that I'll be on the balcony watching the fireworks, and suddenly, I'm on the front lawn of my parents house. I have a few fireworks with me and I begin lighting them off. They're not very impressive, but it makes me feel good to go through the motions. I begin thinking of some of the more impressive 4th of July's from my past.

I have a few bottle rockets left, and I become reckless with them, hurling them before they're lit, fearing that they'll come straight back at me, enjoying the thrill. I still have several left, but I see a car driving up the road. I toss the remaining bottle rockets to the grass, and lie down. If it's a cop, he won't see the bottle rockets, and I'll just claim to be watching the distant fireworks in the sky. The car pulls into the driveway across the street. They my parents new neighbors, a younger family. The man comes out with a portable baby crib and tells me that I can't light anymore fireworks. I watch him go into the house.

I'm a little pissed at him for ruining my fun. Technically, bottle rockets are illegal in Michigan, even on the 4th of July. And if he were so inclined, he could call the cops on me. I consider the ways that I can get him back, perhaps I'll light off a massive mortar in his front yard? Shortly after that, I wake up. My head is still thinking of ways to get back at the figment of my imagination. What if I preemptively call the cops and tell them that the neighbors were lighting off fireworks? I turn on the morning NPR news as I enter the shower and hear about a Michigan bill that could be passed to allow Michigan to be more lax on the state's laws on firework sales. Nice coincidence.

Air Hockey and Red vs. Blue - 2010/03/04

My cousin and I swam out into a lake in the middle of winter. Though it was very cold, the lake hadn't frozen over completely. Floating in the middle of the lake, for some strange reason, was an air hokey table. My cousin and I began playing air hockey, and I earned a comfortable lead. This caused my cousin to pout, and he began throwing things and messing up the air hockey table. When he finally calmed down, there were piles of snow and black plastic discs all over the table. I tried cleaning it off and placing the black plastic discs along the sides of the air hockey table at the blue and red lines. My cousin wasn't very helpful, but I finally got it back to normal. We played for a short while after that, but the puck flew off into the air, and landed in the water. I swam out to it, expecting it to float, but instead it began to sink. After it was a mere shimmer in the depths, I told my cousin the game was over. He refused to believe me, and dived into the water looking for it. I began to swim back to the shore.

We got the the edge of a large stone castle, and I climbed up onto one of the battlements, but I wasn't able to get down. My cousin, still annoyed from losing at air hockey, wouldn't help me, and instead began throwing rocks at me! It was clear that he was going to be violent and dangerous. I saw a large snow bank that I could land safely into, and returning fire with a rock, jumped down into it. After that I ran into the castle, with him in hot pursuit. I raced around corners, up and down stair cases, and into the shadows trying to lose him, but every time I paused to catch my breath, he was just coming into view, throwing more rocks at me. The castle was surprisingly abandoned, and I felt like it should have people living in it, even friends. Finally, I lost him and found my way into a shadowy crawlspace. I could hear his footsteps echoing throughout the empty stone castle, but I kept hidden, knowing that he wouldn't be able to find me. Then, I saw a thick book and began to leaf through it. The book told the story about how everyone in the castle began fighting each other.

After being in the crawlspace for too long, I had to pee. Not wanting to wallow in my own urine, I walked near the entrance of the crawlspace and peed into a rain gutter. Then, I went back into hiding. Shortly there after, I could hear cousin's foot steps approaching. He was now on a horse, and from my vantage point I could see him trotting slowly past. I thought to myself, I hope he doesn't notice the urine! He began to pass the area where I had relieved myself, but then stopped and dismounted. Damn, my hiding place was compromised! I saw him slowly walk into the crawlspace, and I grabbed a large rock to defend myself. I was tucked so tightly into the area, that I didn't think I would be able to ambush him properly, but he neared closer and closer, and I finally sprung into action. I tried to get into an attack position quickly, but I seemed to be moving in slow motion as I got out of the crack in the stone. Luckily, my cousin didn't notice, and I was able to smash him over the head with the rock. There wasn't much retaliation, and it was over in a few seconds.

When I left the castle I noticed a whole bunch of men standing around in blue costumes. I began talking to them, and realized that they were the people from the castle. Then, I noticed some people in red costumes off in the distance. The people in blue were shooting at the people in red, and vice-versa. I began helping the blue team, and started shooting at the reds. Chaos ensued, blues began changing uniforms into the reds to help infiltrate their ranks, and reds did the same. Soon, it became impossible to tell the difference between the two teams and I pondered to myself, this must be what real war is like, when you have no idea if the person approaching was friend or foe.

Things began to go good for the blues, and we were winning. Then, I saw an attractive woman dressed in a tight jumpsuit and with heavy makeup on her face. She looked like Daryl Hannah as Pris in the movie Blade Runner. She began to fight me, and I fought back, but I felt bad because she seemed innocent. I felt that if we hadn't been at war with each other, we probably would have been lovers. She pulled a knife and tried to stab me, but I turned it around on her and forced it into her belly. She stared into my eyes as she died, but I whispered to her, not to worry, that I loved her. Once she died, I took her body into a secluded are and began making love to her corpse. Then I woke up.

Limo Ride and the Talking Cat - 2009/11/17

I'm riding in a limo for some reason, fiddling with all the controls--playing with the sun roof is plenty of fun. The road becomes rather bumpy, so I head up front to the passenger's seat. There is a woman driving, someone I feel close to, like a sister or girlfriend. The real limo driver is sitting behind her. He doesn't seem too upset about being ousted from his position. We're driving down a dirt road, and the thing's aren't looking too good. Large pylons are on either side of the road, and as we drive, they keep getting closer and closer together. Eventually, we get to the point where the pylons are only a few feet apart. I warn the driver, but she turns the limo just right and it fits. I'm not quite sure how that happened, but I am sure that the pylons coming up won't fit a limo. They are not only right next to each other, but they turn at a 90 degree angle to another set. Sure enough, the limo squeezes around the tight 90 degree turn and makes it through unfazed. I make a comment about not being able to understand why they would put these openings that are meant to only allow bicycle traffic in the middle of the road. We keep squeezing though these impossibly tight turns, when finally, I hear the thump of a pylon on the limo fender. I look at the driver, but he seems surprisingly calm. Eventually, we come up to a door. We all just seem to know that we need to get out and carry the limo through the door. Now I can see how the limo made it through all those impossible narrow turns. The thing bends like taffy as we pull it through the door. However, instead of a staircase beyond the door, there is a a series of young trees. The only way down seems to be to jump from tree to tree to get to the ground. I express my doubts, knowing that small trees can't hold our weight, let alone an entire limo, but everyone else wants to try it. So, I go first, holding up the limo, and standing on top of the bushy limbs. I hop down to the next one, but the limo begins to shift in a wavy unstable motion. Finally, the tree fails, and the limo comes crashing down to the floor, taking us with it.

Everyone is safe, except for a startled cat. It shrieks and runs up one of the few remaining trees. I recognize the cat as belonging to an old lady I know. I coax it down from the tree and it whispers to me, "I want to go back to the shore." I know it's not normal for cats to talk, but I'm not too upset by the fact that this one can. It has a very soft whispered voice, not at all what I would expect from a cat. I climb the tree back up to the door, and go through, knowing that the limo can't be salvaged. I walk past the pylons and come to the shore of the ocean. The cat leaps from my hands and begins walking along the wet sand. There are some teenagers splashing and laughing a distance away, but I mostly just hear the roar of the waves. It isn't long before the cat hops back up into my hands and tells me to take him home. I consider asking the cat how it can talk, but I decide against it. I'm fearful that if I do, it will stop talking to me. I'm at the cat's owner's house, which is quite cluttered. I lie down and play with the cat on the rug, then I wake up. I look at my alarm clock, and close my eyes again, attempting to go back to the dream and see the cat, but I'm unable to. I'm never able to.

Secret Passage and the Bear - 2009/04/08

Once again I'm climbing through the secret passage under my parent's house. It's a very tight fit with board and beams that must be squeezed through. I remember it being much easier to climb through when I was younger, but I'm still able to make it through. Finally, I make it to the room with the door to the basement of my parent's house. I've been here before, because I've left gum wrappers from the last time I was here, but then I wasn't able to get in because I didn't have a key to unlock the basement door. For some reason, NPR is playing during the entire journey through the secret passage, which seems a little weird. I never open the door because I wake up just before I do.

But then I fall back asleep, and now I'm walking to my apartment. I think this is the very first time that I've ever dreamed about one of the apartments I've lived in. Well, I'm at the entrance of the complex and there are large piles of dirt everywhere. It looks as though a construction company is dumping dirt on any area of low land to prevent water form collecting. There are a couple areas of water that are now surrounded by dirt mounds. Every few steps I grab and handful of dirt, toss it into my mouth, and eat it. As I get closer to the apartment complex I hear this odd growled breathing sound. Then I notice that there is a large brown bear rushing towards me! I slowly back pedal, while trying to shout and prop myself up. I take off my backpack and place it over my head to look bigger than I am. I think that the bear must have been hibernating and picked up with the dirt and then dumped here by mistake. I continue to back up slowly, all the while shouting and trying to look scary. I have no idea if this is the right way to scare off a bear, but luckily, I awake before I find out.

The Frustrating Girl - 2009/03/13

I'm at a house, it belongs to an acquaintance, but I don't feel entirely comfortable there, so they must not be a good friend. There are numerous rows of chairs in the living room all facing a big screen TV. Most of the chair are occupied by people ranging in age from children to adults. It's kind of dark in the room and a movie is being shown on the TV. I'm not really paying all that much attention. At some point a young woman walks into the room and sits down in the empty chair next to me. She's skinny, with short dark hair and pale skin--attractive, but not from gobs of makeup, just naturally attractive. I whisper hello, and she says hi back. She doesn't see that interested in the movie either so I decide to lay the ol' charm on her. She is responsive to my flirting, which is always a good sign. The movie ends, but we keep talking for awhile. Finally, she has to leave, but she tells me with a smile that she'll be here tomorrow and that she hopes that she'll see me here again. I wouldn't miss it for the world.

The next day, she is there again and I'm very happy. We talk for a long time, smiling and joking with each other. Then, I notice that she's wearing a wedding ring. I decide no to confront her about it, not wanting to know the answer. If she's wearing the ring to scare off jerks, then I'm fine. If she's not going to tell me she's married and still "friendly" with me, then I can blame her for not telling me. Not the best approach, but I really like this woman, and I don't want to hear that she's unavailable. As the night progresses we both start getting drowsy, so she lays her head on my chest. Her warmth makes me feel wonderful inside. Sadly, the evening ends and the girl has to leave. I don't want her to go, so I ask her to call me. She says she will.

The next day, I'm at the same house. There are several people here including a lot of children running around. My cell phone rings, and it's the woman. My heart bounces around in my chest as I answer the phone. Since the room is full of people I duck into a side room for some silence. It appears to be a child's room, there are toys all over the place. Now that I can hear her we say our hellos and I can't stop grinning. I decide to ask her a few questions about herself. Since I tend to have trouble getting involved with women who live too far away from me, I ask her where she lives. Illinois. Dammit! Apparently, she had driven from Illinois to Michigan each day that we were watching the two movies. I feel that reoccurring frustration in my stomach. I've fallen for another girl who lives hours away. She can tell that I'm upset so I explain that she lives too far away for a relationship to work. She doesn't share my dismay, and says that it'll be okay to drive several hours each time we want to see each other. Suddenly, the door of the bedroom opens and several kids walk in making lots of noise. I can't hear the woman on the phone any more and I wake up. The girl was a dream, but the frustration is real.

Racing to the Interview - 2008/07/15

I'm in a tremendous hurry! I'm pulling on clothes, trying to prepare myself, but I'm running late! A group of videogame programmers that I highly respect are expecting me in 45 minutes. It takes 45 minutes to get there, and I'm still at home. I'm still getting dressed, and I'm totally unprepared. I'm supposed to pitch them a game idea, but I can't even get get my pants on. I yell to my girlfriend and ask her if she's ready. Apparently, I have a girlfriend, and we're living in my parent's basement of all places. She says that she is. I look down at my clothes and I look terrible. What was I thinking wearing casual clothes to an interview?

I quickly tear off my clothes and go searching through my dresser for something presentable. While I'm pulling on some brown slacks I ask her to go to the computer and put the address into MapQuest for directions. She has to walk to a nearby building to get to the computer, and while I'm struggling to get my shirt on, I notice her walking extremely slow. I can feel my blood pressure rising. She knows I'm in a hurry, why can't she run? Then, she stops to talk to some guy! I grab several ties and try and find one that matches. She's still outside the building with the computer, now in what appear to be in an argument with the guy. Just go in the damn building and get a damn map! There's no time for waiting around! I finish putting on my tie, take a quick glance in a mirror, and I'm pleased with the way I look, but she is still hasn't even made it in the building.

I run outside to where she is and push the other guy away. Pissed, I ask her if she even had the web page up yet? She says yes, so I go into the building. It's a large computer lab. There are several long tables with a computer every couple feet; most of them are occupied by nerds. My girlfriend points me to the one where she was on the Web, an antique of a computer. She connected with Internet Explorer, and it was totally unresponsive to the Web page. Who the fuck still uses IE? I yell at her as I close the browser and try to open FireFox. But the computer is moving awfully slow. Come on! I shout at it. I punch the keyboard as hard as I can. Several keys fly off, but I hit it again for good measure. My girlfriend informs me that she used to live in the city we're going to. She can get us there, and then we can just call them and have them direct us when we get close. The idea will do, but I'm still not done with the computer. I grab the monitor and throw it to the ground as hard as I can. Sparks fly everywhere and I feel a little better. I shout to one of the nerds in the computer lab to tell the professor exactly who broke this piece of shit. He said that he was going to anyway. We left the computer lab.

There is only a half hour left to drive the 45 minutes. I'll have to drive extremely fast, but I'll still be late. Instead of simply hopping in my car and driving, I realize that I don't have a car. The only way I can think to get there is to buy a car quickly, so now I'm at a used car dealership. I plan on buying a car right away and driving it off the lot. I talk to a salesman and take one of the first ones he tells me about. We run out of the dealership and I see the car on the other side of a huge outdoor stone coliseum. It looks like a college campus with people walking all about biking, playing, and shops around the exterior. Rather than take the long way around it, I decide to race across it. I bound down the steps, taking several at a time. I have the feeling that my girlfriend is going to try and trip me, so I make sure that I'm several steps ahead of her. When I get to the bottom of the coliseum I can't see the car anymore and I think it's gone. My girlfriend explains that it's merely out of sight because we're at the bottom of the stairs and we'll see it again when we get to the top. Sure enough, when we get to the top, there is my car. I breathe a sigh of relief.

I look at the car. It's a lot nicer than I was expecting. It was dark brown and sporty looking, it even matches my clothes. There was a sign over the missing rear window mentioning something about being a cold ride. Great, now it's winter and there is snow everywhere, and we get a car with a broken rear window. This drive is going to be freezing! I pull out my phone. I'll call them, let them know I'll be ten minutes late. But wait! There is a man and a woman talking about the car. It appears as though the woman is trying to sell my car to this guy! I explain to her that I just bought this car and I'm driving it to another city right now. She tells me that if I don't have the title and insurance it's not my car. Shit! I don't have either of those. But screw it! I don't care anymore, I'm leaving without them. My girlfriend is in the passenger set, but the saleswoman hops into the driver's seat and begins to drive away. As they leave I shout to my girlfriend to give me the phone number. She shouts it out... 751... 751... something something... I can't make out the last digits. No! The car disappears out of sight.

Luckily, I'm now driving the car, but the saleswoman is still in the passenger seat explaining to me that I need insurance for this car. I tell her I already have insurance from my last car, I'll just switch it over to this one and I'll be fine. She says it won't be enough, I'll need special insurance. I sarcastically ask if I need boat and plane insurance too? But she seriously replies that I do. Crap! She continues talking, and won't shut up about it. Then, I see that the phone number to the place I'm driving to is written on the drivers-side window in lipstick. Excellent! Now I can call them, let them know I'm running late, (very late by now, I just left and I only have 15 minutes to get there) and ask for directions! All I need to do is shut this saleswoman up. I reach back and just throw the bitch a solid punch to the face. She slumps in her seat unconscious and finally it's silent again. Unfortunately, her head must have hit a an electric window button because my window goes up and the lipstick number gets smeared into the top of the window frame. It's completely illegible. I have no idea where I'm going or how to get there! NO! And I'm awake.

Stupid Mall Theft - 2008/07/09

I'm driving in the parking lot of a mall with my friend Nichole and a male friend who I don't see the face of. Our brilliant plan is to go into the mall, grab a bunch of stuff, quickly leave without anyone noticing and then drive off. We drive around for awhile looking for a close parking spot, and eventually get one right at the door. Both Nichole and the other guy go into the mall, I remind them not to run on their way out, because it'll look suspicious. I wait in my car, keeping it running for a quick getaway.

It isn't long before I see them both come out with far too much stuff to fit in my car. The guy is pushing a garbage can full of stuff and Nichole is pushing an entire baby playpen full of kid's stuff. I'm flustered; there is no way we're going to get all this stuff into my car. I open the doors and they slowly begin throwing items into the back seat. I remember that my trunk doesn't open from the outside, so I unlatch the back seat from the inside. Of course, my trunk is still full from my last vacation so there is very little room. Nichole starts handing me things one at a time, naming each one off. Baby rattle, diapers, baby clothes... she doesn't even want kids, why did she grab all of this stuff? It wasn't until she handed me a stack of cash that I actually thought this theft might be worth it, but even then, all I could think was that this was the worst planned crime in history, and we are -so- going to get caught.

I woke up about that time, and was disappointed in my dream-self not planning a better heist. There were so many problems that should have been thought through. For example: I should have rented a large car or truck to hold all the stolen goods. I should have rented with a fake id and name to ensure that the plates couldn't be tracked to us. We should have altered our appearances with wigs, fake beards, sunglasses, etc. so that personnel couldn't recognize us and cameras would be useless. We should have a place where we could dump the car and transfer the goods after we were a safe distance away. We should have made a list of the most expensive merchandise that could easily be sold to dubious pawn shops... I'm just glad my lucent self is a better criminal than my dream self.

Odd Place to Crash - 2008/07/01

I'm driving down the road that my parents live on with my friend Kimberly in the passenger seat. Suddenly, two cars in front of me, there is an accident where a card flips over. I pull over and rush to the upside-down vehicle. Kimberly gets out to investigate as well. I wrench the door open and there is a young woman, a little bloody, crumpled up in the driver's seat. The driver of the car in between us is out now as well, but he's useless. I pull out my cell phone and dial 911, I tell the woman driver to stay calm, that I'm calling her an ambulance. She seems uncomfortable with the idea, and struggles to get out of her car. I think to myself how unsafe it is for her to be doing this, she could have a spinal injury. However, in a few seconds she has pulled herself out of the car and is up on her feet, but she can't stand very well. I tell her that I can drive her to the hospital, but she doesn't want to go. I decide to walk her to my parent's house so she can lie down. We get inside and my parent's are gone, so I lie her down in my old bedroom, which still has my stuff in it (that has long since moved out with me).

Kimberly and I both clean her wounds, but then there is a knock on the door. It's a police officer who has responded to the car accident. I explain to him that I don't know how the car accident happened, but that the woman was a mess, and that we were cleaning her up. I looked outside the picture window and saw our neighbors down the road walking towards us with their several children. All of the sudden a van is crashing through the air towards them. They are able to get out of the way just as the van smashes into the street. I wonder how a van could possibly get airborne on a 25 MPH street, and I look up the street and see a ramp made out of snow and ice. It wasn't winter before, but apparently it was now.

The cop ran outside and demanded everyone go back to their houses. I went back to check on the injured woman in my bed. Then I woke up.

The Nude Waitress - 2008/03/20

I'm being chased around the outside of a restaurant by a very upset waitress. The waitress is a girl from my high school who I remember as being a real bitch. She's isn't what you would call cute, but she is attractive. She's shouting obscenities at me and threatening my life, but I'm able to spryly evade her along the water's edge that the restaurant is built along. At one point I have to race through a shallow part of the icy water to gain some distance on her. I have a big smile on my face and I'm taunting her as I run. One of the other servers informs me that she's chasing me because I left her such a small tip, which isn't true, I left her a 30% tip.

Well, she keeps chasing me, and I keep making it difficult for her. At one point I'm on the dangerous side of the railing that keeps people from falling in the water, and she hops out to pursue me, but as she's catching up, she loses her balance and falls in. The water is so cold that she almost immediately loses consciousness. I rush back to her and pull her head out of the water and try and pull her out. She is extremely heavy, not only from being dead weight, but also from the extra pounds added by her water-logged clothes. Remembering what I've been told about falling it freezing water, I quickly removed all of her clothes and tried to dry her off as best I could. She was still unconscious, so I decided that I must quickly get her someplace warm.

I enter a family owned and operated motel which is about as podunk as you can get. Behind the counter is an entire family of hicks who are staring in awe at what just walked through their door. I'm holding up a completely naked and wet woman in one arm and struggling with the door. I get to the counter and tell them I need a room for the night. They whisper to each other and finally the father begins to help me. The mother demands that I pay up front in cash, but I only have my debit card to give them. The father says it's enough, and begins checking me in. Everyone completely ignores the elephant in the room. The mother leaves and comes back with a plate of sandwiches for her family. She demands that they all say grace and I stand there rather annoyed that they're trying to pull some religious propaganda on me. I'm trying to get a room with an unconscious wet naked woman and they think that their pre-supper prayer is going to affect me? While everyone else bows their head and closes their eyes, I stand straight up waiting impatiently. The mother says grace with one eye open staring at me. Finally, they're done, but the family just sits there and we look at each other in silence. I start drumming my fingers on the counter and then the mother tells her oldest son to direct me to my room. I lug the unconscious naked waitress with me and enter the room. As the son is leaving he tells me to, "have a good time!"

I quickly throw the women into the shower and turn the water on to a hot, but not too hot, temperature. A make sure her nose and mouth don't get too wet so she can breathe. Once the water starts to get cold I dry her off and stick her in bed and cover her up with as many blankets as I can find. There's a fireplace in the room so I start a fire and get the room as hot as I can. When I have everything as hot as it can get I look over at the girl. I remember what kind of bitch she was in high school and consider having sex with her unconscious body, but decide against it. That wouldn't be fair.

It's now the next day and there is younger annoying guy with me. We're in the living room area of the motel, and the waitress is still sleeping in the bed. The annoying guy goes in to check on her and comes back smiling. He says that the waitress has great tits. I call him a childish pervert, but he also mentions that she's awake. I rush into the bedroom. I already dressed her in some of my clothes, but the annoying guy was obviously fondling her, because the shirt she's wearing has been unbuttoned. I force him to leave and seeing that the waitress's eyes are open I ask her a few questions. I ask her if she remembers what happened, and who she is. It takes her a minute, but finally she understands. I tell her that I saved her from drowning and brought her here. She tells me she's still mad at the low tip, but she's thankful that I saved her.

The dream then decided to go off on wild tangents that are impossible to follow, so I won't even bother.

I'm a Criminal? - 2007/11/28

I'm driving to my grandparent's house (which they moved out of well over ten years ago), but the family Christmas party will be held there as usual. The road that I'm taking is a huge hill that gradually gets steeper and steeper. I begin to worry about my car flipping over backwards because it's so light with just myself in it, and eventually it does. The flip is rather frightening, but I safely control my car so that it lands off on the side of the hill without hitting anyone else. Instead of braving the hill a second time, I drive through a snow covered field and find my way past the hill to my grandparent's place. My whole family is there, moving about left and right preparing food, watching football, and playing games. I find my mother who asks me if I'll go an pick something up for her. I agree and leave.

At some point of me being back in my car, I'm with an attractive blonde girl who is riding in the passenger seat. I'm doing my best to be smooth and make conversation when all of the sudden I see lights flashing in my rear view mirror. A cop is pulling me over. I grow a little nervous because I wasn't paying attention and I may have been speeding. I'm off to the side of the road and I roll my window down. I feel a little embarrassed with the girl looking at me. Then the cop walks up to my window.

It's a woman and she has a gun aimed at me! She shouts at me and demands that I put my hands up on the steering wheel so she can see them! I'm startled by this, but I comply. When the cop is satisfied that I'm not going to be making any sudden movements, she tells my passenger to open the glove box. She does and all the junk in my glove box is there as usual. The cop tells the girl to pull out the gun real slowly and hand it over to her. The girl looks through my stuff (owner's manual, insurance, registration, etc.), but no gun is to be found. The police woman takes my license and looks at it with disappointment. She asks me who I am and what I'm doing and I tell her the truth. Eventually, she believes me and explains that this is merely a case of mistaken identity. She tells us that another person in a red Neon who looked like me is a criminal who they are looking for.

She hands me her card, and says that if we should see a red Neon on the road we should call her, or give the driver her card. She drives away, and we're back on the road heading towards my grandparent's house once more. My passenger is looking at the business card and laughs. I take a look at it to see what's so funny. The business card is pink and glittery and shaped like a pickle. On the front, in hand written marker, is a little message about meeting the cop in her backyard to buy drugs. I can't help but laugh as well. She must be a really good undercover cop!

When we get back to my grandparent's place I explain to my family the whole thing about getting pulled over and why it took so long. Then I remember that the blonde girl who is with me must feel really uncomfortable because she doesn't know anyone here. Around this time I wake up.

Too Many Cats! - 2007/09/30

So there I am, in my apartment petting my cat. However, my cat is missing a lot of its hair; I can see right to it's skin on it's back. This is obviously strange (stranger yet is that fact that I don't own a cat). The other cats in my apartment are much healthier, looking plump and as hairy as they're supposed to be. However, I only own one cat. These other cats aren't mine and I don't know where they came from. I deduce that they have been eating my cat's food and stressing it out to the point where my cat is losing it's hair. They have no doubt been bullying my cat around as well.

Well, in order to get rid of the other cats, I start smacking them. As I smack them more cats begin to show up, and I become more and more brutal against the foreign invaders. I begin picking them up by the scruff of their necks and taking them to the door. Once outside, I spin them around in big circles until I release my grip, sending them flying down the hallway of my apartment into the walls.

The probably isn't the best dream to have when I'm supposed to be cat-sitting for my friend next weekend.

The Strange Woman at the Frat Party - 2007/04/06

I'm at a friend's house and there is a small get together going on, only about five people. My friend pulls out some markers and a tattered old paper map which she begins to unfold. She keeps on unfolding it and it gets bigger and bigger until it takes up her entire living room. Written on the map over the continent Australia are little sayings in red marker like "I was here" and arrows pointing various directions. As she's showing me this and making more notes on the map more and more people being to appear in the house.

The map is now gone, and there are close to fifty people all moving about the house, sitting on the couches and drinking beer from plastic cups. The markers are now being used to draw on people's bodies. Some male friends of mine have been putting arrows and sayings on the bodies of the women who are there. Since I'm holding a marker I decide that I should try this out as well. I walk though the sea of bodies looking for a girl that I should mark, and on the other side of the room I see an attractive blonde with a white sweater. However, by the time I get there she's naked with some frat boy on top of her. I decide that this probably wouldn't be a good time.

I make my way down the stairs into the lower floor which is also filled with people, now feeling rather self-conscious about being here, but then I see another girl sitting down on the steps. When I get close to her she's smiling at me, but I'm a little disappointed with her appearance. She's smoking, drinking, and has bad teeth and hair. I decide I'd rather enjoy myself than judge her, so I stand her up and pull her close to me. While I do this I notice that her thighs are covered in scars (most likely self-inflicted. She even has an etched in tic-tac-toe game.

She begins to speak, but her English is rather broken. However, she doesn't have a foreign accent, so I take that to mean she's just stupid. She puts her arms around me and prepares to kiss me. I think to myself how awful this kiss is going to be because of the smoke and beer taste her mouth will have, but I close my eyes and do it anyway. She puts her tongue in my mouth and I realize that something is very wrong. Her tongue isn't warm and wet, it's dry and thin, almost as if I'm kissing a strip of cloth. I pull my face away from her, but her tongue remains in my mouth as if it was unraveling. I open my eyes in shock and she looks at me and says, "Good-bye." This confuses me a little, but then she takes her finger and jabs it into my side. Immediately I feel stiff and absent, like I don't live in my body anymore, or that she turned me into cloth or something, and the shock of that wakes me up.

One Thing Before I Go - 2007/03/15

I'm at work, only my company has three times as many people as it does currently. However, we're all still stuck in the same size building. There are desks and computers and people everywhere. I can barely hear what's going on through all the noise. My boss seems to be planning some trip to a client in South America, but nobody is paying attention, and I can't here him anyway. He hands me several maps of Cuba and Brazil and information about the trip. The room is in chaos and my boss is trying to keep everyone under control, but he can't, so he leaves.

We he returns he's very pissed off. He starts shouting at many of the people who are goofing off. He starts making threats and pulls out a stack of papers which includes all of the emails that have gone out of the company, many of which are personal. Some of the workers get mad at him for doing that and quit right on the spot. He tries to tell them it's just a bad time for him, but most of them won't listen. I explain to my boss that reading through everyone's email is an unethical thing to do. I mean, even the boss makes personal emails at work, why can't the workers. Later, the workers come back after the boss says that he begged them.

After all that I'm back in my apartment complex walking to my apartment. While I'm entering my building (which is much bigger than in real life) I see an ex-girlfriend of mine. She hands me a booklet that she says she made for a friend. I flip though it but all the pages are blank. I tease her for making an empty book, but when I flip through it again I notice that the first couple pages do have stuff on them. My ex, follows me into the apartment building and starts to get a little amorous with me. I'm certainly appreciative of the attention, but she then turns the harmless flirting into sexual flirting. I'm okay with this, but I don't think that she's ready for what she's starting.

As we walk down the hall, touching each other, several old people begin to stare at us. We grin to each other, and then quickly make it into my apartment (which we have to take a narrow bridge outdoors to get to). Once inside I start thinking that I've forgotten something. My ex is trying to hold me and talk to me, but I keep feeling like I've forgotten something. Then I remember about the trip to South America! I call up my boss who explains to me that everyone is already in South America and that I missed the plane. He says there's not much more I can do about it.

I'm a little sad about this, but just then a nuclear bomb explodes nearby. Everything outside goes bright white and there will only be a few minutes before everyone dies. I kick myself for not going to South America where I wouldn't have to worry about being killed. My ex laughs at me and says that I'm awfully unlucky, and lays down on my bed. I think to myself, at least before I die I'll be able to have sex with her.

The Epic Warehouse Theft - 2006/08/15

It's a sunny day and I'm in a rural area down a country road. On the other side of the road is a large corn field, but where I'm standing is just outside of a large warehouse that it full of canned goods produce and farm equipment. The warehouse is owned by a woman in her fifties who is currently in her office in the back of the warehouse. There are a couple other people who work for the woman walking around, a few men, and a younger woman. They are doing their daily work moving about the warehouse.

Up the road I see two men riding bicycles. They make their way up to the warehouse and get to the door. They say hello and that they're friends of the woman who owns the place and then they enter the warehouse. I have some sort of revelation and I realize that these people are thieves who are going to rob the woman. I sneak into the warehouse after them and when I see the workers I quietly tell them about the intruders. Eventually, I come across them at the back of the warehouse.

With no suitable weapon to fight them off, I start picking up canned goods and throwing them at the two men and shouting at them. They don't seem too afraid of me, but luckily the other workers start following suit and throwing cans at them as well. Now the two crooks have all sorts of cans and produce being hurled at them and they decide it's time to leave. As the last one is making it to the door I throw a small can of evaporated milk at them and it imbeds itself into the door frame spraying a mist of milk into the air that the thief has to run through. Even in my dream I think it's a little over the top.

As the men run away I pelt them with rocks until they're out of sight. Then, I return to the warehouse to survey the damage. There are plenty of dented cans around the place that the workers are trying to put back into their proper place, and the walls have marks all over them from the cans and produce.

I have no idea what this dream is about, or even what brought it on. It's really kind of dull compared to some of my other dreams.

I Need a Better Boat - 2006/06/28

I'm alone at my aunt and uncle's house, although it is nothing like what their house is really like. I'm in their unfinished bathroom where it's damp and smells of mildew. I decide that I need a shower so I remove all of my clothes and turn on the shower. The water comes out hot, but the shower curtain is lying on the floor, no longer attached to the wall. I pick it up and try to reattach it to the ceiling, but part of it is broke off. I want to take the shower, but the shower curtain is messed up. Suddenly, I hear voices beyond the bathroom door. My aunt, uncle, and cousins have arrived. I begin to feel awkward about trying to fix their shower curtain...

I assume that I have left because now I'm fully clothed and driving my first car (a white 1989 Beretta GT). I'm hugging the turns and feeling the breeze with all the windows down. I drive by where an old golf course used to be, but now condominiums are being built on the fairways. I think it's good that the old waste of space is being put to use for homes, although I wonder how this will affect urban sprawl.

I come to a stop and need to make a right turn. I look down the road to the left and see a cop in the distance driving towards me, down the right side is a bit of a traffic jam. Should I wait for the cop to pass, or have him behind me for the entire stretch of the traffic jam? I decided not to wait and pull out. I accelerate to the traffic jam and get stuck behind a large work truck. The cop nears and I keep trying to get around the truck like the other people are able to do. Suddenly, the paved road turns to dirt. This construction is causing the backup. I keep trying to pass the truck in order to avoid the cop, and eventually I do.

I speeding down the narrow highway trying to put distance between cop and me. I keep seeing more and more lakes around the highway and they start getting closer and closer to the road. I fear that I'm going to lose control and drive into one. And then it happens; the road make a hairpin turn and I drive right off the road. However, my car seems to disappear and I merely run across the water and then back onto the road, barely even getting my feet wet.

So now I'm standing on some docks at the shore. A fair-weather friend of mine is showing me his awesome new boat. I board it and start poking around. He shows me all the cool gadgets it has. I vaguely remember buying a brand new boat awhile back and although it was new and shiny, it was also small. I think that this boat is a lot cooler than mine. (I don't own a boat, but in the dream I would have sworn that I do).

Off of his boat and onto my brother's. It's even larger and my aunt (a different aunt than before) and her daughter are sunning themselves on the back. I chat a bit with them and some of the other boaters in the area. Then hear someone making a beeping noise, and it's a man standing on the water, gliding into the buoyed off swimming section of the lake. I look closer and see that he is standing on a motorized surf board. He makes the beeping noise as a joke to the people swimming as if he's a ship or something.

The man makes it to shore. He's obviously a joker. He shouts out to the people on the dock next to me that they need to stop using a garbage bag as a boat. I look back and see two men siphoning out a brown bag to make a floatation device out of it.

I continue to jump around on the back of the boat and then a young girl on the dock next to me begins to whine that I'm being dangerous. I pay her no mind and she continues to whine. Then, the people she's with take off into the lake, but turn their boat around when they realize that she's not with them. The girl whines even more, and I say to my aunt, that the girl is a real whiner. The girl then asks me who is a winner, but I decided that I'd rather not correct her misheard quote. Then I realize that I've already hit my snooze alarm, and now I really need to get up.

I've Been Murdered - 2006/06/16

I'm in a room with a blonde woman and two other people. I don't remember who the other two people are, but the women has the feeling of an ex-girlfriend to me. Although she's attractive and I'm familiar with her, I have contempt for her in some way. We're here on a scientific matter, but I'm not exactly sure what that is. The four of us are talking to, what appears to be, a large metal computer of sorts. The computer has a mind of its own and is capable of talking to us. The computer mentions that one of us will kill another in competition. I think to myself that I don't think I want to kill any of these people, when all of the sudden my head falls off my shoulders onto the floor in front of me.

I was somehow able to watch this. Then my body collapsed as well. I turn to look and my ex-girlfriend is holding a piece of bent sharpened metal. She just cut off my head! I ask her what the hell she did that for, and she seems to be equally amazed that I'm still standing there asking her why she just killed me.

None of us have an explanation for what just happened and the three living people leave; I tag along. Now we're in my parent's old kitchen (it's since been completely remodeled, but in the dream it's still in the original style). The ex is making herself dinner, and I'm wondering how am I supposed to eat when I'm unable to move things or pick something up. I start to get frustrated by my inability to alter the world, which I could do with such efficiency just a few moments earlier. I summon up all my frustration at the ex, and she feels my hostility. She looks at my ghost and sees that I want to hurt her. I reach for a knife on the counter and, to my surprise, I'm able to pick it up. She takes it from me and throws it into a drawer. I'm able to push my form through solid objects, but the act of doing this makes me feel unnatural so I refused to do so. She tells me that she knows I want to kill her, but she won't let it happen. She can't fully see me but she still knows I'm there.

Now we're in a living room of a house I'm not familiar with. There is a couch on one side of the room, a TV stand to the opposite, and an easy chair against the third wall. The fourth wall is open into the rest of the house. My ex is sitting on the couch watching the TV, and I'm sitting in the easy chair brooding over how badly I can't hurt her. An old friend of mine entered the room. She is young and has dark-hair. She sees my ex, but she doesn't see me. She asks about me and my ex tells her that I've died. She begins to cry with these terrible wails and leaves in a fit, this is bad because the girl is psychologically unstable right now as it is. My grief is instant. I realize that I'm indeed dead, and that there are going to be a lot of people who will be mourning my death. Throughout the day several other people show up and are very upset that I'm dead none of them can see me either. I feel so alone. The only person who can see this specter that is me, is the one who I hate the most right now.

The room is empty again except for my ex and myself. I muscle up all my hate and lift up the closest object to hit her with it, but it's the equivalent of a baby hitting an adult. It try again with a glass bottle, and I'm able to hurt her a little. This makes me feel good and I try to do it again, but she merely takes the bottle from me and throws it under the chair. I try to reach it, but I can't. I'm frustrated and lonely and I feel beat. I just go up to her and fall into her arms in submission. She holds me up, almost annoyed by it, and for a moment I can smell her and feel her warmth (this is where the dream starts to get good). I begin to caress her body and she is able to feel it, so I move to more exciting parts of her anatomy (I won't go into detail, but suffice to say... ghost sex).

After the encounter, I don't really feel any better. My ex is once again watching TV, but this time it's a show with an evil monster. Some sort of gruesome demon is terrorizing people and eating parts of their flesh. The show then got a lot scarier as the demon burst from the screen and into the living room. It began ripping the place apart trying to kill my ex. I shouldn't have been that upset by it, but I tried to help her, and she was able to get out of the house. She ran from the house outside and the demon pursued at a matched pace, leaving a trial of filth as it moved. There were several people outside, including the dark-haired one that had visited me. My ex ran past her and the other people. I recognized the others as well. They were mutual friends back when I was with my ex.

The demon was still chasing, and I screamed for the dark-haired girl to run. She must have heard me, because she took off like a shot after my ex. The group of people were running towards a building that had an elevator right at the outside ground floor. I could hear the dark-haired girl mention that no bleach-blonde is going to beat her, and she raced past my ex into the elevator. She quickly turned around and pushed the button to close the doors. My ex and I just barely made it inside as the doors were closing, but the remaining people were still outside. My ex screamed at the dark-haired girl about what she just did. The elevator began moving up, and we could hear the cries of the people outside.

My ex demanded that we go back down and I agreed. When the elevator hit the ground floor the doors opened. The girl with the dark-hair was in the corner, not looking out. I glanced out and saw the bodies. They were gruesomely torn apart, half eaten. I spoke again to my dark-haired friend, and told her that she needed to look. She saw what had happened and felt terrible. Just then the demon showed up again and attacked us. He ripped a tooth right out of my ex's mouth and ate it. We tried to close the elevator doors again, but the demon jumped inside and the doors closed trapping us inside together.

Rather than let it kill us the two girls began to fight the demon. I was amazed that they were both skilled in hand-to-hand combat. At the window (yes, this elevator had an open window) an owl flew onto the sill and looked in. It saw the fight and patiently waited for the fight to end. A little worm crawled out of the side of the owl's head and looked around. It saw me and spoke to the owl telling it that a spectre was there. The owl then saw me. It asked me why I didn't help my friends. I told it that I'm a ghost and that I can't stop it. The owl mentioned that I could help anyone who I loved, but it would make me fade a little more.

I realized that I had been fading into nothingness every time I did something supernatural. If I wanted to touch something or talk to people I would become harder and harder to see. I assumed that when I faded completely from sight I would be gone from this world forever. Enough of the lesson, I quickly used all my strength to attack the demon, and through the three of us together we were able to kill it.

After we left the elevator we noticed we were at a college. The dark-haired girl was obviously still upset about the people she let die and left us, I've always had a desire to protect this girl, but she didn't want me to follow. My ex also left to get her missing tooth taken care of. So I was just a lonely ghost walking around a college campus with nobody that could see me. I explored the area and found myself in a tunnel. People would occasionally walk through it and of course, they would take no notice to me. Then a young girl who sort of felt her way along the walls came through and bumped into me. She apologized and said it was too dark in here to see me. I left and went into the light and stood in front of a building. The young woman followed me and when she arrived in the light I saw that she had on very thick glasses. She walked up to me and said that she could see me better now. I thought it would sound a little odd to the people walking by to see a young girl with horribly thick glasses claiming to see someone who nobody else could see. She said that in the bright sunlight I was much easier to see, and I guess I did have a little shimmer back to myself.

Just then a man came running up to me. I recognized him as a close friend to the dark-haired girl. He mentioned that there was a problem with her. He told me she was at her work, and very quickly I raced there. A problem... she has been having a rough time lately, and compound that with all that has happened today... could she have killed herself? I ran at a break-neck speed. I rushed right through solid objects, no longer bothered that I shouldn't be able to. As I got closer, my anxiety became more and more intense. I hoped that she was okay, I needed her to be okay. I finally burst through the wall to where she worked and saw her at a counter, very much alive.

I rushed to her and put my arms around her. I pushed her face into my chest and just held her tight. I began to cry in very shallow breathes, inhaling and exhaling to the point of hyperventilation. I'm not sure if she could see me, but I know that she could feel me there, holding her. She was still upset, but I think that now she was going to be okay. (I remember actually seeing my alarm clock at this point. I was still in the dream, but I was slowly coming out of it and becoming aware of reality. This is the first time I've ever *died* in a dream which isn't supposed to happen, although I still existed in ghost form, so I don't think it counts.)

Dad's Dead - 2006/04/25

I'm riding my bike down the side walk of a two-lane highway. As I speed down a hill I see two teenage black girls playing above a bridge with a stream running under it. As I pass one of the girls jumps off the bridge into the water below. Both her friend and she laugh at the situation.

At the end of the hill are a small group of thugs. I ride past them, but they begin to follow me, possibly intent of stealing my bike. I quickly ride past them to my father's house. When I get to my father's house I find the he is dead.

It's not that his body is there, I just know that he died a little while ago, which is why he isn't home. The inside of the house is a complete mess. There is stuff everywhere from ceiling to floor (which is odd, because my father has a relatively clean place). Then my family arrives. My mother, brother, sister, and step-father are all the the door. Apparently my father left everything he owned to me, including the house, and everything in it (nothing to his other two children, how strange).

My mother informs me that the house is for sale, and everything needs to be taken out and cleaned by today, and why isn't that already done? I didn't even know it was being sold. I look around at the mold on the ceiling and the countertops covered in papers and boxes and explain that we'll never be able to clean this place by the end of the day, I'll have to take a bunch of bleach and start at the top and work down. She tells me that we will get it clean, and calls some relatives to help.

More people show up and we start working on packaging everything up. I explain that we can toss the trash and then I'll sort the important stuff when I get home, but let's first just get it out of the house. I start trying to get the majority of the trash separated, but people keep tossing it in with the rest of the stuff, and I keep having to pull it out again.

As I'm looking through all the stuff I keep coming across important things. I find a stack of old baby pictures of my family, a stuffed animal from our past. There is also a a set of automated Halloween miniatures that I adore. It makes me feel sad that my father is now gone, and that the good times, though few and far between, are gone.

At this point it's getting dark, and we have lamps keeping the place lit enough to see. We're almost done, and I awake.

Dream of the Living Dead - 2006/03/08

Every so often I have a dream that actually terrifies me. I tend to cherish these dreams because they don't happen often, and they can give me the excitement of fear without actually having to put myself in danger. Since I don't get scared from horror movies anymore, it's very difficult to experience fear without actually slapping a gang banger in Detroit.

Anyway, this dream actually scared me to the point where I woke up, so you know it was a good one.

I'm at an outdoor sporting event. I'm not exactly sure what kind, but I'm almost positive it's either football or lacrosse. There is a full team playing on the field in helmets and pads, and there are a couple hundred cheering fans on the side lines and bleachers. Right in the middle of the game a military plane flies overhead and drops something onto the middle of the field. It explodes throwing a thick gas all over the field.

All the players on the field are killed and fall to the grass. There bodies quickly rot and turn gangrenous. However, they don't stay down, they get up as zombies. The zombie players attack the people on the side lines by grabbing hold of them and biting them. When the people are bitten they turn into zombies as well (wow, this should be a movie!).

There are horrible screams as the entire crowd flees in panic. Few people escape the carnage and the zombies are multiplying rapidly. I quickly drive away to a place where I'll be safe. The local grocery store where I used to work. As I drive, for some reason know that the military was testing out a new form of gaseous acid on civilians, but it wasn't supposed to turn them into zombies, and now they don't know how to stop them. The entire world is in danger.

By the time I get to the grocery store most of the people in the city are already zombies. I rush into the store with zombies hot on my tail. I make it into the back of the store where they keep all the pallets of food for stocking the shelves. I quickly climb up the pallets to the top, about twenty feet above the cement floor. I'm safe because zombies can't climb (who made up that rule?).

There are a few other people on the top of the pallets as well. They are workers of the store who were smart enough to climb the pallets. We have food and water enough to last for awhile, but the zombies are looking up at us from the ground and they are never going to leave or sleep until they've assimilated us.

I being talking with one of the guys on the pallets, he explains that the only way to kill a zombie is to totally destroy their body. You can shoot them and cut them up, but they'll still move around and attack you. You have to burn them or melt them in acid or something. Good luck trying to do that in a grocery store.

I awoke just after realizing that some zombies can indeed climb the pallets...

Spiders are Gay - 2006/02/16

I'm outside of my girlfriend's house (I don't have a girlfriend, so this was someone else). Her little brother (maybe about 18-years-old) was with me and it was raining quite heavily. We went inside and went to his room. We were both soaked, so we removed our clothes. I wrapped myself in a blanket off his bed, while he got some clothes out of his dresser for us to wear.

Then my girlfriend's parents showed up in the door way. The father was outraged and the mother freaked out. They both started shouting at me, calling me gay and saying that I was molesting their son. I tried to explain to them that I wasn't gay, and that we were merely changing into some dry clothes, but they were just screaming at me.

I took some dry clothes and put them on and then confronted the parents. Now they were outside eating dinner on their patio, while a cook prepared food over a grill. I tried to explain my heterosexuality, but they wouldn't listen. I wanted to mention that I was nailing their daughter, so I must be straight, but I didn't think they would find that very funny.

The father got really pissed and told me to leave. I told him that I was waiting for his daughter, and he told the cook to kill me. The cook pulled out two large knives and walked towards me. I mentioned that I didn't have my car here, and that I couldn't drive away.

The mother told me that she would drive me to the airport. We got into her minivan and began driving. Now that the father was gone, I figured I could explain to the mother what had happened because she would probably be more understanding, but no such luck.

Next I was at my apartment, and my girlfriend showed up. Obviously, she knew I wasn't gay. She gets a phone call and it's her father. He yells at her for being with me and demands that she comes home. She hangs up and tells me she has to leave. I tell her not to let her father bully her around like that, but she mentions that she still lives with them, so she has to do what he says. I think that maybe I should ask her to move in with me, that would really piss her parents off, but I decide that I don't want her living with me, so I don't mention it. I get into my car and leave and tell the girl to lock up when she goes.

I get in my car and drive to the interstate. I'm a little upset that she won't face up to her parents, so I decide to go to the mall. I realize that I'm driving the wrong direction for the mall, so I take the first off ramp I come to, which is one I've never seen before. There are trailer parks near the off ramp, and the whole area looks flooded from the rain.

I see that the road back to the Interstate is flooded, so I get out of my car and walk over to the bridge. The bridge has been destroyed by a storm, and only a small wooden plank extends over it (about 100 feet) with a rushing river under it. I don't want to risk crossing it, so I walk upriver to find a shallower area.

I find one where a camper is in the middle blocking most of the water which is only a few inches deep. I remove my shoes and socks and as I cross I see a couple of people in the camper talking and a guy from the mall standing outside the camper watching me cross. I look at him, wondering why he's here, but he doesn't say anything. Once I'm on the other side I see a thick cobweb across the path. I push it down and notice that a small snake was caught in it. Wow, that must be a big spider to eat baby snakes.

I keep walking down the path and a large woman of Caribbean descent dressed in bright colored clothes is sitting on the side of the path. She doesn't say anything or even look at me. I finally make it to where the other side of the thin bridge is. There looks to be a small dock into the river on this side. I walk a little on the dock and I hear a high pitch giggling. Then a spider as big as a large dog moves from the under side of the dock to the top. In it's high pitched voice it tell me that it's going to drink my blood.

I try to run, but there are think spider webs attached to my back, and I can't move. The spider draw nearer squealing with glee. I break free of the webs and have no choice but to run out on the plank bridge. It's very scary, but I make it near the middle. As I get further out the plank begins to bounce more and more making it difficult to run faster. I can hear the spider shrieking that my running is just making it even more excited.

At the middle the board is bouncing so much that I can't go any further, I just keep bouncing in place. The spider get closer, and I fall off the bridge, into the river. I jump up and try to grab the board, but I slip, and it the board shakes like a strip of rubber. I get a good idea. I jump up and grab the board and pull it down as much as possible and then let go. The board acts like a sling shot, rocketing the spider into the sky. And then I wake up.

Cat Death - 2006/02/15

I was driving in a van riding shot gun, my cousin was driving. We were considerably younger than present (in our teens). We were pulling up the driveway of my cousin's friends house. The friend still lived with his parents, which made sense because we were all younger.

The driveway was long and uphill. When we got to the top there was a calico cat that walked towards the van, and my cousin didn't see it. There was a thump as he hit the cat. He didn't know what it was, but I knew instantly. I jumped out of the van and looked for the cat.

The cat looked terrible. One of its back legs and its tail had been sliced cleanly off. Not like a crushing injury, but like a clean blade had sliced them off. There wasn't any blood, and I could see the cross section of muscle and bone. The cat was obviously in pain.

The cat wouldn't allow anyone near it, but I was able to get low to the ground and pet it and get a hold of it. I whispered to it that I was sorry and that it needed to calm down. I pulled out my knife (the same one that I keep in my car just in case I need to kill an animal that has been injured by a car). Then, the cat's owner came out. It was a large woman in hysterics. She was freaking out and screaming at me to stop. The cat, frightened, jumped out of my hands and ran around in pain. I explained to the woman that I was going to put the cat down, that it was in a lot of pain, and that there was no saving it. The woman still wouldn't let me do it.

Instead, after a bit of crying, she propositioned that we suffocate it (personally, I think that a swift cutting was less painful than a slow suffocation, but it was her cat. So we chased after the cat and eventually were able to cover it with a large black coat. We sealed the edges and eventually the cat stopped moving. It was dead.

Certainly not the best dream I've had in while, but it felt right to end the cat's suffering.

Coitus Interruptus - 2006/01/18

I was at high school. I guess I was 18 again or something. There was a girl there, she was taller than I was which was a bit intimidating. Regardless, she wanted me, and I wanted her. She drove back to her parent's house and I followed her. I left my car behind hers in the driveway and followed her into her house. The house was small and out of the way. It was off a dirt road and there weren't any other houses around.

We walked into her house and sat on the couch in the living room, hardly wasting any time before we started making out. I don't remember much about what she looked like. I think she had shoulder length dark blonde hair and slightly tan skin. She had a stocky body, not fat or muscular, but big. We began removing each other's clothes and I was very intrigued by her aggressiveness. She wasn't shy at all and she seemed to like the same amount of roughness that I like (mild scratching, hair pulling, etc.)

We had just removed all of our clothes when we heard some noises outside. I looked at her and she nodded... it was her parents. This wouldn't have been the first time I had to rush to hide from parents. I grabbed my clothes and she pushed me to her bedroom. There was no place to hide. I quickly put my pants on, grabbed a blanket off her bed, and slid under it. I used the blanket cover my body and remaining clothes. She had just finished putting the rest of her clothes on and was leaving her bedroom when I remembered my car in the driveway. "Think of an excuse for my car!" I whispered to her. She nodded and left the room.

I could hear voices coming from the living room. I struggled to put my shirt on under the bed without making noise and also trying to look through the small holes in the blanket. I was easily in sight for anyone walking into the room. If they did walk in they would see a human shaped lump of blanket under the bed. I then realized that I had left my socks in the living room. Damn.

The voices in the living room were getting louder. There were two deep male voices, and the girl's. Judging from the body structure of the girl, her family was probably a bunch of large guys who could easily bust me up. I felt fear and anticipation... It was practically euphoric.

A little time went by and someone came in the room. It was the girl. She whispered to me that she said she had borrowed her friends (my) car because hers wouldn't start. They were all leaving to go to dinner, so they would be gone soon. She left the room and I heard them all leave the house. I waited about ten minutes and slid out from under the bed. I put my clothes on, grabbed my socks, and left the house. I left a note on the door to corroborate her story of a friend picking up the car. And then, quickly, I drove off.

I felt great. I haven't been interrupted like that in quite some time and I had totally forgotten the rush that it gives you. Pure adrenaline. Sure, it sucks that I missed out on dream sex, but still, it was pretty cool.

While driving home I pulled off on the wrong exit and came across this strange parking lot. It as part of a bridge and surrounded by tall trees that cast shadows everywhere. I stepped out of my car and looked at the pavement. It was made up of millions of tiny little blue bricks. I then woke up and noticed that my alarm hadn't gone off. I was going to be late.

Water Underground - 2005/12/28

I'm at a summer camp of some sort. We are in an enclosed room with tall ceilings. There are two large hallways on each end of the room that people can walk in or out of. It's dark and only illuminated by a few neon lights on the ceiling which is about 30 feet up. There are two very large aquariums, about 1000 gallons each. One is waist level, the other is on a very tall pedestal.

Two people are explaining what the room is for, and they appear to be Steve and Terri Irwin (from the Crocodile Hunter). Myself and about twenty other people are there. The kids and myself appear to be about 15 years old. One of the kids does something to break the lower aquarium and the water gushes out filling the room. Most of the kids run through the hallways, I climb the pedestal of the larger aquarium. Once the water is gone, and most of the kids are gone as well I take a look around from on top of the pedestal. There is something on the wall, something that has to do with the lights, I can't remember exactly, but it keeps my attention. Terri tells me to come down, so I start to climb down. As I do, I make the pedestal wobble and drop to the ground. Then the aquarium tips over and shatters on the ground once again covering everything in water. Terri doesn't look too upset, but I feel terribly embarrassed.

We leave the area and go to a huge dining room. It's by no means pleasant looking. It is like the aquarium room only much bigger. There aren't any windows and it's lit only by some neon lights on the ceiling (but a bit brighter than the other room). There are hundred of teenagers all sitting down and eating on long cafeteria tables. I work my way over to the buffet and I hear the laughs and sneers from the kids talking about how I broke the aquarium. I didn't think it was fair because the other kid broke one too, but they weren't making fun of him this much.

Anyway, I loaded up my plate with food, sat down by myself, and ate. On my second trip I found a section of large bowls that appeared to be filled with this bright blue, almost see-through gelatin. I grabbed on and began walking back to my seat, but I noticed that the bowl contained a liquid. It was just a thick blue water, and the label on the bowl said tartar. I looked in the bowl and saw that there was raw salmon in it. Gross. I went to put the bowl back and I saw a woman (about 30) with her young daughter (about five) trying to get some food. I told her to stay away from the raw fish. At some point I escaped the dining room, and I don't remember eating much.

I ended up at my aunt and uncle's house where several of my family members were. They were all laughing and having a good time, but I had to leave. I walked out to my car and my uncle was there. He explained that they had to go through all of my car to find something. I looked in my car and noticed that it was a mess. Everything in it (and a few new things) were thrown about all over the place. I felt guilty because I had something in my car that would offend my uncle (although, I'm not sure what that could be). I got into my car and drove down the muddy dirt road. After a mile something went wrong because I got out of my car and ran from it.

The woman and her daughter from the dining room were with me and we were fleeing from something, I'm not sure what. Anyway, we ran into a man-made tunnel that was partially underground, but there were openings at the side where daylight crept in. Inside the tunnel everything was a brownish color. The walls and ceiling were also covered in mud but there was light every couple feet keeping it well illuminated. The tunnel was knee deep with water at most parts and hard-packed dirt at other parts. The three of us trudged through it knowing that something was hot on our heels.

A man showed up and began running with us. He was a take charge kind of guy and tried to convince us to exit the tunnel through a door that led back to the surface outside. We decided not to do that, and he opened the door and left. We heard screams of what happened to him. Whatever it was that was chasing us got him. A few more people showed up in the tunnels. A man and another woman who I assumed to be his girlfriend. We finally made it to the other end of the tunnel and it was a strange place. It was misty and dreary. There were trees, but all the leaves were off of them. The grass seemed dead. Nothing was lush.

There were a few people around, but I mentioned to the others not to talk to them too much because we don't know what kind of place this is yet. We saw a building and went into it. Once inside we saw a fairly modern shopping center. There were items on shelves, and several people walking around. We seemed to have come in through a back entrance because we were at the far back of the building. The man and the woman were talking quite loud and and shushed them not wanting to draw attention to us explaining to them that we are in an unknown land and we don't know what kind of people live here. They were uncooperative continued to be loud. A police officer showed up.

Trying to fix the situation, I walked up to the cop and was very nice to him. I shook his hand and introduced myself. He seemed alleviated and began to leave. I felt relieved, but the guy with us kept making snide comments and then swore. The cop rushed over to him very upset that he heard the man swear. Why can't the guy just shut his mouth? The cop said that this is a Hebrew area and that swearing is illegal and punishable. Swell. I ask the cop if there is anything we can do to get out of this, and he says I can challenge him to a sword duel. He explains that the swords aren't real, they're practice swords. Now we're talking. All of us challenge him. I watch the guy with us go first. He's obviously never held a sword before and the cop easily beats him.

My turn. The cop was two weapons, I'm given only one, not very fair, but I feel that I am better than the cop anyway. I quickly dash out at him and knock one of the swords from his hands and hit him in the side. He recoils and hits me with his other sword claiming victory, but tells me that I did a good job attacking his weak side. I sit down and watch the woman fail to him as well. I demand another try. This time I quickly disarm him first sword and proceed to hit him multiple times. I break his defenses many times, hitting him in the body and the head, but eventually he hits me and again claims victory. That's not fair, I say. I hit you several times and you hit me only once and yet you claimed victory.

The cop tells me that I did well, but he's still the winner. If I want to save my friends I need to compete at the games. I accept and find myself being led to an outdoor field. Under a large tree is a group of people dressed in a thick leather body armor and whacking at each other with heavy wooden practice swords. I'm suited up in a set of the armor and find it very poorly fitted. I can't move my arms very well at all, how do they expect me to properly fight? I don't remember ever actually being in a match, and around that time I woke up.

Desire to Stay Angry - 2005/12/08

I was at a party. It was still early, so not everyone was there, but there was a lot of people there already. I was sitting on a couch in a large sitting room. There was a table in the center and on the other side of the room was a female friend of mine talking and flirting with someone I didn't recognize.

She got up and left the room and I followed her. She went to her bag and pulled out a case of photographs. She had an extra one for the guy she was talking to. I asked her if she had one for me, but she said that she had already mailed them too me. I hadn't received them, in fact, recently I hadn't received any of the things she supposedly mailed me. She walked back into the room and gave them to the guy. Together they stared looking at them. Because this girl was a friend of mine I thought that some of these pictures might have me in them, so I asked when and where the pictures were taken. The girl didn't respond. I asked again, and she ignored me again. I gave the usual sarcastic "Hello?" gesture and she merely glanced at me and smiled.

I was pissed. She was ignoring me and possibly showing some guy pictures of us, but she wouldn't show me. I was fuming. I stormed out of the room and made my way out of the house. There were several people there all of them were laughing, happy, and enjoying themselves which made me even more upset.

I followed the back yard down a huge stone stairway towards a lake. I jumped down several stairs and came to a place where there were several baby turtles. I picked one up and looked at it. My anger subsided a little from seeing it, but it tried to bite me, so I threw it.

When I made it to the lake I saw a tall man hugging and kissing a girl. The girl looked about 14 and the man about 30. A guy in the lake spoke to me and said it wasn't fair that they looked illegal, but they were both in their mid twenties.

Well, my anger was still there. I was hiding from all the other party guests. Behind bushes, in closets, where ever I didn't have to interact with people I was safe.

I then woke up. I specifically told myself that I was dreaming, but then I decided that I wanted to stay mad, so I went back to sleep. Usually, I can never get back into a happy dream once I wake from it, but this one I was able to. How ironic.

Respect Her Decision - 2005/11/10

I'm in my parent's basement. (A quick aside. Most of my dreams still take place in my parent's house even though I haven't lived there since 2000. I think I still dream about the house because I don't consider my current apartment to be "home", and thus whenever a dream takes place at home, I feel the need to return to the last place I lived at that was a home to me, thus my parents house) Anyway, I'm in my parent's basement and there is a party going on with all my friends.

One of my female friends is walking down the stairs, but slipped and fell down them and lied in a heap at the bottom. Everyone simply walked away not caring, but I rushed towards her and make sure she's alright. She was unconscious, so I checked her pulse and felt that her heart was still beating. She didn't have any external injuries, so I whispered to her and caressed her forehead. Slowly she gained coconsciousness and mentioned that I'm a good friend. I then said, "Being lovers can make friends, but friends can break lovers."

I said this because I felt guilty and I wanted her to know that if we were to be good friends I'd probably drive her boyfriend and her apart, whether it be on purpose or inadvertently. As it is, in real life this woman is dating someone who I feel is wrong for her.

Now, as a friend, I should be happy for her and I should respect her decision for choosing a proper boyfriend, but as a competitive male, I just don't think the guy is worthy of her. I'm not trying to convince her to ditch him so I can take her, because I don't think that we are compatible either, I just don't think this guy is right for her.

Even though I'm against her dating this guy, I don't like to make decisions for other people. So, I picked her up and carried her to her boyfriend who was sitting on a couch. I laid her down for him to take care of, and walked away.

It's interesting to note that most of the time my dreams don't contain any dialogue, and if they do I usually can't remember it. This dream contains a line that, while I may not be remembering it verbatim, I remember the gist of it really well.

The dream then ran off on a tangent that involved caterpillars, rodents, and DNA tests. I don't remember much more about it.

I'm a Vampire? - 2005/10/20

I was with my relatives who are very religious people. We were with a large group of people who were all church goers, excluding myself (although, I used to be). We were all on a large open trolley that was slowly working it's way through a nice downtown suburban city. Everyone was wearing church clothes, I was dressed in torn jeans, a band t-shirt, and chains.

The trolley went through a large outdoor open house composed primarily of old people. They had many chairs and tables all parked under large tents and they were eating standard fare food. They all watched us as we went by through the park where they ate.

After we left the area we came to a stop in a more secluded part of the town. We got off the trolley and went about talking and socializing. My cousin returned to me after talking to my aunt and explained to me that she was very embarrassed because of how I was dressed. He told me that she said that she would never allow me to dress like that again around her church friends. I smiled, not caring, and thought I should maybe wear all black next time and dye my hair or something, because black is formal right?

Well, we eventually made it to a large gymnasium, and there everyone was hanging out and talking. We all were eating ice cream too. I had eaten a large quantity of ice cream, but I was still able to wrestle with my cousins for fun.

It seems I had won the wrestling contest, but just then a girl grabbed my waist from behind, lifted me off the ground, and began spinning me around. I felt sick from the force, but she eventually let me go. I turned around to look at her and she was gorgeous. She had an athletic body, a pretty face, and she was dressed similar to myself. I figured, turn-about was fair play, so I tackled her to the ground. Merely for play of course, it wasn't that I wanted to feel her body against mine (wink wink).

Later on we were at my aunt's house, and there were only a few people remaining. The girl and I were in the living room and when everyone else left we were the only two remaining. Our wrestling had turned into making out, which, I confess, was my fault. It was getting late so I asked the girl where she lived. To my pleasure she said "Flint", which is a city very close to me. I got her number and I was quite sure that I was going to see her again.

The party had ended. I looked out the second floor window into the darkness and saw that all the cars had left except mine and the girl's. Then the girl said "I sacrifice you to the night" and tried to push me out the window, but I could tell she was just playing and that she wouldn't have let me fall. I smiled back at her.

It was another day. The girl was at her home and I was on my way to see her. I was walking through the residential area of Flint (many parts of Flint are slums, but she lived in a decent area). Along the way I saw a person in an alley. I walked over to the person, attacked them, drank their blood, and killed them. This even took me by surprise in my dream. I had no idea why I did that, but I knew then that I was a vampire.

I continued to the girl's house. We were both happy to see each other again and she let me in and we started talking. I got serious and explained to her that I was a vampire and that I had just fed on someone. She seemed a bit startled and asked what I did with the person after I had fed. I explained that I killed the person to put them out of their misery. At this, the girl became upset and said that she wouldn't be able to stay with me.

I left her house feeling lonely and hurt. She had seemed so wonderful, but we were unable to be together because I was a vampire.

Armageddon - 2005/07/14

There is a little bit to the beginning that I don't remember very well which involved a friend in a shopping plaza, perhaps getting a haircut, and then me being pushed to the ground by some big goth kid at the entrance of a goth store. That part is fuzzy, but the rest of it is pretty clear.

It's night time, and I'm walking along a sidewalk to get home (but once again, my home is my parent's house, not my apartment). And there is a hole in the pavement. The hole seems to be a window into space, and I can see stars in the distance. One other thing I can see in space is a large anomaly. It's circular, and bigger than the moon. The inside of it is composed of long overlapping white strands in a labyrinthine pattern. It also pulses in size every second or so. The strands are sucked into the center, and then shoot back out again, but maintaining its spherical shape.

I take a moment to examine the strange occurrence. A few people walk by me and I try to get out of there way, hoping that I'm not blocking the sidewalk. After a few seconds I stop watching it and continue home.

I'm home now and in my old room. It is very messy just like before I moved out. I've gotten myself a plate of chicken wings to eat because I'm hungry. On the floor in front of my dresser is a small TV which I turn on expecting to see something about the weird thing in space. I remember there being a good astronomy show on PBS so I flip to it and sure enough there it is.

While the guy is talking about the anomaly, I look outside my bedroom window and notice that it has gotten a bit bigger. The guy on TV explains that the thing in the sky is a neutron star that has just recently formed in our solar system.

My jaw drops. A neutron star is huge and has such an intense amount of gravity that it would suck the Earth into it, effectively destroying the planet. Images flash in my mind of the outer planets being wiped out and various objects being hurled into the intensely hot star. We're all going to die. I was terrified.

The guy on the TV explains that there is no need to panic and that everything should be okay. But I know he's lying, not that it really matters anymore now. I look back out my window into the night sky. The pulsing star is much bigger. Though it pulses down to nothingness, it grows bigger each time it re-expands. From the TV I hear an interviewer explain that there are explosions near the star, and I look up at it. Sure enough, there are explosions seen. Satellites, I think. We're very close now. I look to my TV and the picture has become destroyed and stopped. I flip to another channel, wanting news, sitcoms, anything. The only thing left on is a 24-hour infomercial channel. How typical.

Suddenly, I feel the the Earth rotating. That shouldn't happen. The night sky grows lighter. The Earth is spinning much faster than normal. Shortly after it gets dark again. We're spinning too fast into the neutron star, and the entire planet is going to be destroyed. I am going to die.

I think to myself, maybe I should pray. Then I disregard the notion, thinking that if there was a god and he caused this, he didn't much care if I prayed or not. So I thought of death as nothingness instead, and that this neutron star causing the end of the world was simply a matter of randomness in the universe. Well, at least my death was going to be painless. The pulsing star kept getting bigger and bigger, but I wasn't afraid anymore.

As the world spun violently into the star, I sat there in my room, and ate my chicken wings, and they were delicious.

A few moments later everything went bright orange. I remember thinking to myself, "I'm dead." But I wasn't dead, because at that time I woke up.

Shot in the Face - 2005/05/12

I don't remember much of this one, but I'll try to lay it out. It seems there was a party at my parent's house (not sure which kind, I think a birthday party) and my sister arrived with her boyfriend (actually, my sister has been married now for awhile, but it wasn't her husband she was with). Anyway, the guy seemed very depressed and rather suicidal.

The bulk of the day went on outside the house, my sister, her boyfriend, and a few other stoner like kids were sitting on the side of the house while the rest of the party was out back. Cake was just about to be served when all of the sudden a great commotion occurs and everyone starts rushing about. I asked someone what was going on and they told me that my sister's boyfriend had just shot himself. I rushed over to the side of the house, and sure enough there was her boyfriend with a gunshot wound in the face. His nose had been blown off, part of his cheek was missing, and bright red blood covered the wounds. Amazingly, he was still alive and conscious, looking around at everyone.

There was a rush to get him to the hospital, and everyone started leaving. Someone got him into a vehicle and drove away. My mother asked me to drive a few other people. I walked over to my car (which was my old car from 1999) and it had tons of junk in it. I tried to quickly clean it out, but the people who I was supposed to drive just got frustrated and left for another ride. So, instead of driving to the hospital, I took a shower.

After all that I was in the basement, and my parents arrived from the hospital. My mother said that we were going to eat some cake. I asked if it was the death cake, and she said yes. We walked upstairs and there on the stove was the cake. It looked a bit odd, so I asked what kind of cake it was. My brother said that it was fish cake. I was skeptical so I asked my mother, and she agreed. The cake was about two inches deep. The bottom inch was a bluish-green cake that sparkled a little and the top inch was a grayish meringue. And that's all I remember.

Fiery Plane Crash - 2005/05/11

It was winter. I was at my parents house, and my whole family was there (brother, sister, mother, step-father). They were all sitting down to start a movie that I wasn't to keen on watching. I went outside to get some air, and they mentioned that they were going to start the movie without me, but I didn't care.

I was on the back porch staring up at the stars (however it wasn't my parent's porch). The sky was cloudless, and it wasn't very cold, but snow still covered the ground. While watching the stars I noticed several of them rapidly falling to the ground. They continued and I ran inside and told everyone there was a meteor shower outside, but they told me to hush, because they were watching a movie.

I went back outside, determined to enjoy nature's spectacle. I saw that the concentration of meteors was at a place where a large tree was blocking my view, so I went around to the side of the house to get a better view. With the tree out of my way, I saw several planes landing and taking off in the distance. I thought that they should probably ground them all so that they don't get hit by meteors. Then I saw a whole bunch of meteors flying up from the ground towards the planes. They weren't meteors, they were bullets! Someone was shooting at the airplanes!

Then, I saw a large explosion where a plane was. In my head I could see an up close version of the explosion. I could see the cabin filling with fire, the panicked look of the pilot before he was engulfed in flames. I was trembling as I stood outside terrified. The fireball of a plane sped its way to the ground, towards... me.

I could tell from it's angle that it wasn't going to make it to me, and there was a huge lake that it was going to land in. When it reached the water, instead on plunging into the unfrozen lake it skipped off the water, and bounced towards me. Luckily, it bounced over my head, and over my parent's house, but flew a few down the road. It was going to land on some houses, I knew it would.

I ran through my parent's house shouting that there was a plane crash as I darted out the front door and down the road looking for the fire to put it out. I then realized that I was barefoot and the frozen street was stinging my feet. Yet, still I ran as hard as I could.

I saw where the plane had crashed. It landed in the backyard of a house, but the flames were still burning and the back of the house had flames on it. I ran to their door and began pounding on it. There were some flames above the door as well. I continued pounding on the door and finally it opened. It was a girl, maybe about fourteen, who looked vaguely familiar. "Your house is on fire," I shouted. "Yeah, we know," she said matter-of-factly. For a minute I was a bit confused. Shouldn't she be running around screaming? She left the door to get her mother. I picked up some snow off their porch and put out the fire above the door.

Her mother came to the door with the same banal look on her face, like having their house burn down every day was a common experience. Her mother invited me in, and confused, I entered the house. She led me to the back where it seemed their family was playing a complex board game. From the back room I could see the flames outside. The father greeted me, and I said hello back, but quickly opened the back door and threw snow on the flames until they were out.

The family seemed happy, but not exactly relieved. It was as if I did them a minor favor. They had a large dog that was friendly and made me pet him. Then, the mother explained to me that the plane was being shot down by the military for a test and that nobody was on it. The only glitch was that it didn't fall into the lake properly, but that they were thankful for me putting out the fire. The father began showing me his impressive collection of games and movie memorabilia, and asked if I wanted a wight as payment for putting out the fire. "A wight?" I asked him. "Yes, a wight," he said. "As in w-i-g-h-t, like an undead wight?" I asked, confused as to whether he was referring to a color. "Of course," he said, and showed me a huge collection of ceramic and glass creatures. Most were busts of undead wights. I really didn't want to break up his collection, but I kind of wanted the best looking one, but I didn't want to take it because it was probably his favorite. I ended politely up turning them down.

I decided that I should probably get back home now, and then I noticed their daughter again. She seemed embarrassed with her father's geekiness. I went back to her parents and explained to them that they should really try to do things that their daughter liked as well, otherwise she would abandon them. (As a side note, I once knew a girl who had parents who never bothered with what she liked and always remained engrossed in their own hobbies. The girl ended up becoming a stranger to them, and spent much of her adolescence trying to get them to notice her by doing bad things. I wonder what she is doing now.) Anyway, I started walking back to my parent's house and my cell phone rang (I don't own a cell phone). It was 911, and they wanted to know what the problem was, I explained that there was a house fire, but it was out now. That is that.

The College Woman - 2005/04/20

I was driving my car, with a woman in the passenger seat. We were on a dirt road, driving through the woods. The road was rough and the large amount of trees made everything shadowy. The woman was on college break and I was taking her to her parent's house. The best part about this was that her parent's weren't home.

The two of us had the hots for each other, and she was a little older than I, which intimidated me a bit. She had brown hair, brown eyes, tan skin, and she was very pretty. We arrived at her parent's house which was very richly decorated. They also owned several pets, including a monkey, of all things. We made our way to her bedroom, and began making out on her bed. So far, a very good dream.

We were laying down in her bed working our clothes off when the phone started ringing. It was her parent's calling to check on her. She was on the phone talking to them and I was slightly teasing her by caressing her legs and kissing her neck. She finally hung up and told me that her parent's were out of the country. Bonus.

We went back to her bed and continued where we left off. We were both about half way nude when we heard some commotion in her house. Someone was there! Quickly we both jumped up and scrambled to get our clothes on. She was clothed faster than I was and she quietly opened her door, walked out, and closed it. I could hear talking with some people rather cheerfully. I was hiding in the corner of her room covered in several blankets, in case someone came in. I was trying to get my clothes on but her stupid pet monkey kept screeching and bugging me.

She walked back in her room as I was just putting the last of my clothes back on. She seemed a bit distraught. Her parents, along with several other friends and family members had arrived! Oh, that's just ducky! They had already seen my car in the driveway, but they didn't know if it was a guy that had driven it. She decided that we both should just sneak out and drive away. I was looking out the window of her room into the backyard and I saw the strangest thing.

It was a raccoon walking on its hind legs near a pond. It was very silly looking and I told the girl to come and see it. We both watched it from her window, and then it walked up to a large dog and hopped on it's back, and rode it like a horse! It was amazing. I ran and got a camera and started taking pictures of it. Then, the dog started to turn violent. It began bucking and thrashing trying to get the raccoon off of it. The dog began to grow and become more beastly. I kept getting pictures as it became a hideous monster and destroyed the poor raccoon.

The beast walked away, along side the pond and it passed in front of a high dive. That would make it over seven feet tall, because I remember measuring the high dive when I used to live here. Wait a minute! I thought this placed look familiar. This woman's bedroom very similar to my old room at my parent's house. If fact, the whole place looked familiar. It turns out that her family had purchased my parent's house (which they still live in, in real life) and merged their two houses together. So that means that this girl is part of the family of old neighbors! Oh, this could get ugly!

I told her that she was my old neighbor. I remember being at their house for Christmas one year, and that they were a bunch of rich emo snobs (actually, I've never been in my neighbor's house, they don't have a daughter older than I, nor are they rich snobs). But this was my old room, I lived there for over ten years. I know all about the secrets of it. She mentioned the removable heating vent cover, and I told her that I kept that unscrewed on purpose. It was good for hiding things. I brought her in the closet with me, which was actually now a large dark room that used to be my parent's living room.

The closet was dark, dusty, and full of cobwebs. We walked around inside of it, and I saw my old dresser (which I still own, so why was it there?) and she opened the bottom drawer which was full of pens, pencils, markers, baseball and Magic cards (as it was when I lived with my parents). I kept showing her secret hiding spots like the removable panel on the wall and sections between the walls. I saw a door which was plastered over on the other side. Long ago led into another room of the house, which was now their dining room. There was one other door, which used to be a side door that led outside of the house, I opened it, expecting it to be boarded shut, but it wasn't. I was outside!

But the woman didn't know where I had gone to. How was she to know where I was? Well, I figured that her parents were going to find out about us sooner or later, so I walked in the front door. About five older people looked up at me with rather stern looks on their faces. Her dog and cat came to greet me and I started petting them to show everyone I was friendly. The older woman, who was obviously the mother, said that her daughter had told her that the two of us were just watching HBO together, so I played along and agreed. I assume that they didn't actually get HBO, and she was trying to get me to give away what we were actually doing. The woman I was with earlier came out and approached me. She wanted me to take her away from here. As we were leaving I heard a man's voice say to her mother that she was over eighteen now and that she couldn't control her anymore. That's the last thing I remember.

The Jerk at the Restaurant - 2005/03/23

I was at a restaurant with some old friends from high school and some new friends from the arcade. We were all eating and talking about nerdy things like Dungeons and Dragons and video games. At the table next to us sat three young men. The type of guys that a nerd expects to be made fun of by, athletic, good looking, dumb as dirt. One of the guys overheard our conversation which was rather loud and came over to our table and sat down in an empty chair. He was clean cut, nice hair, well dressed, and had a smarmy look on his face.

He introduced his self as Jason something-or-other, and in turn I said my name was Dean Tersigni. He commented that he was Italian too, but he didn't look it at all. He began asking us several questions about our hobbies and we told him. As a nerd you expect to have morons attempt to ridicule you for your non-sports hobbies, so we humored him with tales of role-playing games, video games, and various other things that people like him would never play. I noticed that as we were explaining this to him he was taking notes, as were his friends at the other table.

I walked over to him and looked at what he was writing. It was a sheet that looked like a questionnaire of some sort. "What are you guys writing about us?" I asked. "Oh nothing," he said and he nervously closed his notebook. I deduced that he was a reporter of some sort. "You know you need our permission to do anything with that, and you won't get it." "Don't worry Dean, seeing as I know all your names I can forge everything I need," he grinned as he packed up his stuff and he and his friends began to leave. "Good luck spelling Tersigni, even real Italians have trouble." I was getting really mad.

I followed them as they walked out making gratuitous use of the "f" word at them. I wanted them and everyone there to know that I wasn't afraid of them, and that I hated them. When I got back to my table, one of my friends had drawn a cute cartoon which was the three meatheads with me shouting F-this and F-that at them. It was pretty cute looking.

Later I was at a large building that looked like a warehouse. In a long wide hallway there was a very long table about eight feet off the ground with long satiny sheets draped from the top to the floor. In the middle sat the annoying talk show host Sally Jesse Raphael, and at one end of the table sat the jerk from the restaurant, Jason. He was giving some speech about what nerds are like, and I noticed he wasn't being very kind about it. So right in the middle of his speech I ran to the front of the crown and started cussing him out in front of everybody. He still wore that smarmy look, so I spit up at him and it landed on his shoes (which made me feel better). For several attempts he kept trying to spit back down on me, but he kept missing. Finally, I just got tired of it all and grabbed the satiny sheet and yanked it off the table making him fall and upsetting the whole table. Sally wasn't very please and left with a scoff (good).

I then left the warehouse, but this takes me into another dream. This is one of my more reoccurring dreams. The way it works is that I'm in a large warehouse with lots of rooms and various objects that I can climb on like crates, ladders, barrels, etc. Usually there are several other people in the place with me and we're all trying to find the exit. In this particular case I had to lead a blind man through the entire warehouse behind me telling him where to go, describing every room, it was very hard. Not to mention that the jerk, Jason, had his burly friends there as well who I had to avoid. Even still, I eventually made it out.

I was then at my old high school walking and talking with a female friend who was telling me that what I did was wrong. I agreed that I shouldn't have done it, but it felt really good to do. She had to admit that it must have been nice trashing his stupid speech, and then she left for her class. That is all I remember about the dream.

Crashing Summer Camp - 2004/11/18

I'm walking with my sister and a female friend down a path and then we see a large summer camp. The average age of the people there is around 16. The kids at the camp seem to be enjoying themselves and the three of use decide that we want to be involved in their festivities. The only problem is that there is a huge ten foot tall welded wire fence around the camp.

My female friend realizes that the fence stops where it meets the trees, and she is able to make her way through the brush. My sister and I, not wanting to push through the bushes decide to climb the fence. My sister goes first and makes it over with ease. As I start to climb the fence one of the kids in the camp notices me and shouts out to the rest of the campers that someone is trying to sneak in. My sister and friend blend in with the rest of the kids, and I'm not about to blow their cover. One of the students tells another to go find a "trog". Which I realize is short for troglodyte which is what they call their camp counselors. The rest of the kids start making fun of me for not being able to get past the fence.

As I walk away to find another entrance, a short fat kid who wants to act tough because I can't beat him up from behind the fence shouts at me and tells me that I better just run away. I shouted at him that he weighed twice as much as he was tall. In the dream this was a clever insult, and the boy got upset and his friends laughed at him. In reality an insult like that is really lame. Anyway, the kid keeps shouting at me, so I take a glove off and smack him with it through the fence. The kid shuts up.

Just then, a spray of liquid covers me, and all the kids laugh at me. I taste it to find it's just water, no big deal, but I still pissed at who ever did this. I see a kid in a white shirt and a red vest running away laughing with a small thermos in his hands. I decide to follow him back, because he probably knows the way in. He tries to disguise who he is by taking off his red vest, but I see it in his hands and continue the pursuit.

He makes it to a chain link gate with several wide concrete stairs going down a hill. He makes it to the bottom before I can get to the gate. I decided to make my presence known by jumping all the way down every stair (which wouldn't be possible in real life). I love this power that you have in dreams. I jump from the top of the stairs, and as long as I will myself not to land, I will remain floating a few feet above the ground. Anyway, I clear all the stairs and land with a thud.

The kid who covered me in water now seems to want to fight me, but I still have to get him back for dumping water on me. I lead him to an outdoor bathroom building and setup a clever trap inside. He walks in and I lock the doors from the outside. When he tries to open them he pulls a lever that turns the shower on above him drenching him. I get a good chuckle and take off.

It has gotten rather dark now, and I go looking for my friend and sister. I see my sister watching TV in a dark room with several other camp members. I walk over to her and she says that everyone is looking for me. I don't feel afraid though. I'm cautious not to get caught, but I feel very happy and courageous. And then, at 4:15 AM, I woke up.

The Alarm That Wouldn't Stop - 2004/10/28

For some reason I'm in the hospital. For some reason I can't use my legs. And for some reason bad people are looking for me so they can do bad things to me. Anyway, there I lie in my hospital bed, waiting for some thing to happen.

There is a knock at the door, and I pull my body over to it and look through the peephole (because all hospital doors have peepholes). Outside I see a gorilla of a man who I don't recognize. I assume this is a bad guy wanting to hurt me, so I lock the deadbolt. It seems that the man fancies himself a lock picker, and tries picking the lock. I sit my weight against the door, but I know that if he gets the lock open, I won't be able to hold it shut. Lo and behold, there is a floor lock as well. This will certainly help.

He is able to pick the deadbolt, but the floor lock prevents him from opening the door. He keeps trying, and the door is getting weaker. I decide I need to get the hospital staff's attention, so I turn my alarm clock on, and it starts buzzing a horribly loud buzz. Beep, beep, beep, it continues, and the bad guy gets frightened and runs off.

So I try to shut off the alarm clock, but it won't turn off. Odd. I hit the button to stop the beeping, but it just continues it's loud noise. I don't want to unplug it because I'll have to reset the time, but it seems the only way. However, it continues to beep even after it no longer has power. It must have a battery. I open it up, no battery. Weird.

The beeping seems to be getting louder and more annoying. I decided that I'll have to break the clock to get it to stop. I throw it to the ground and the shell cracks open, but the horrible beeping continues. I throw it to the floor again and it breaks in half, but the beeping continues. Using my bare hands I rip the twisted plastic shell open and start yanking the wires and circuitry apart, but the irritating beeping just continues to get louder and louder.

My friends arrive to the hospital (a man in his forties and a woman in her twenties). They ask what the horrible beeping is and the see the mess of the alarm clock scatter about. For some reason the man has a katana with him, so I take it to cut up the pieces of the clock. Without my legs, I have a hard time using it, but I manage to cut a few pieces of the clock in half. But the beeping continues. It starts to become painful. The beeping is pounding in my brain, and I desire so much to stop it.

Using the pommel of the katana I smash the remaining pieces of the clock until I find the speaker mechanism. I smash it one last time and wake up to my alarm clock beeping. I hit snooze, and when it beeps again, I'm running late for work. How typical.

Alice Cooper Again? - 2004/10/22

Two years and two days ago I went to an Alice Cooper concert with my girlfriend at the time. This morning I went to another Alice Cooper concert with her, but in a dream.

We were at the mall where she worked and with a few of her friends. One of the empty stores was being worked on and roadies were setting up concert equipment. We stick around to see what's going on and find out that Alice Cooper is holding an unscheduled concert. Of course, I'm thrilled.

As we waited for the concert to start I saw different band members walking around and I saw Eric Dover and shook his hand and told him how much I loved his playing.

The concert finally started, and hundreds of people showed up, but luckily we were in the second row. Alice Cooper came out and his first song was a cover of Queen's Let Me Entertain You. Not something you'd expect from Alice, but then it was a dream anyway. I was geeked because Queen is my favorite, and that's a darn good song too.

A few more songs were were sung and then Alice points at me and my ex girlfriend and calls us up on stage. I remember thinking, I hope he doesn't want me to sing, because I suck at it! We make our way through the back and he leads us up this ladder that leads to the second level of the stage. The ladder is shaky and the second level is merely plywood held together by wires. When we get to the second level there were some nice lounge chairs and a small table looking down on the crowd and the stage. Alice remarked that they were the best seats in the house.

After watching a little more Alice decides to take us up to the third level. He climbs another ladder that's even more unstable and leads us to a small platform. I'm able to climb the ladder just barely, but my ex girlfriend has difficulties and can't climb it. Alice opens a double-door gate that leads to a small outcropping in the guard rail. It looks like you can lean on the guard rail an look out into the crowd and it would feel like you're flying. My ex was still trying to get up the ladder so I leaned down to help her. However, instead of seeing her, I see a small computer icon of her on the second level. I keep trying to help the icon to the third level, but it doesn't seem to work. Eventually, the icon falls to the first level. I'm not sure if the fall injured her, but I woke up at that point.

Saving the baby animals - 2004/06/11

I've had two dreams that were very similar in the past few days. In fact they were actually connected in a way.

The first one started with myself and some other people who were older than me hiking down a path in the woods. Although it wasn't raining anymore, it had rained recently and everything was wet. There were even large standing pools of water left behind. Some were waist deep.

As we walked along the path, we noticed a long fence that was on the left side of the path. It continued around a bend in the path a ways down. I thought that I wanted to be on the other side of the fence, so I climbed over it. One of the other people climbed over as well, but the remaining person told us that we shouldn't do that and stayed on the path.

We continued walking along, until I came across two bear cubs who looked lost. The strange thing is that for bear cubs they were very small, about the size of a cat. They kept making whining noises, and I expected that they were looking for their mother.

I carried them over the flooded pools and eventually found their mother. That was pretty much the first dream. The second dream took place this morning.

I was walking along the same path, which was still flooded, only this time I was with two people who were younger than myself. We came along the fence. This time the two younger boys wanted to go over to the other side, but I remembered from the last dream that I shouldn't go over the fence.

I came across a bridge which had collapsed into the flooded river. On the close end of the bridge was a baby sheep and a goat kid. Again, they were both only the size of a cat, which is much smaller than they should be. On the other end of the broken bridge, in the water, were the mothers of the two animals. I picked up the two baby animals and another bear cub appeared. I figured I'd deliver the first two babies, and then come back for the cub. So I waded across the river with the two animals in my hand and safely delivered them to their parents.

I was going back for the cub, but I think I woke up from my alarm around this time. It's always odd having a dream more than once.

The Hidden Lagoon - 2004/03/16

There was some stuff that led up to this point, but I don't remember it very well, so I'll start where I remember.

I'm with my parents and for some reason we're hiding in the basement of a building, only it's an underground lagoon. The room is a large rectangle, with water in the middle. But on both far ends are banks of solid ground. Also, Leonard Nimoy is with us. I'm not sure why.

Anyway, I'm skipping stones into the lagoon and Leonard Nimoy informs me that it is illegal to skip stones. I tell him that I don't care, and he agrees that it's a stupid rule. He then skips stones and they fly in bizarre patterns. He challenges me to skip a stone and have it bounce in the shape of my name, which he is able to do, but I cannot. Instead I skip a stone super high, and super far. At least my parents were impressed.

There are stairs leading upstairs, but we're not allowed to go up them. Every so often a maid comes down. This time she brings her fine China. She tells us she wants to hide it down here so it can't be stolen.

Leonard leaves, and is replaced by a stern looking Asian man. He is dressed in traditional Asian clothes, but I cannot determine the origin, possibly Chinese. He begins to walk across the lagoon and is waist deep in the water. I feel afraid at first, but he assures me that I'll be okay, so I jump in and follow him. We cross to the other bank of the lagoon.

It seems that he has a lot of fireworks on the other side. I'm thrilled because I love fireworks. He shows me them and tells me they are quality fireworks from his home. He wants me to light them for him. I ask how quickly the fuses burn, and he said they burn slow. This shocked me because I'm used to cheap American firecrackers that burn super fast. Anyway, I light a bottle rocket, and it shoots off into the air of the basement ricocheting off the walls and ceiling. It's full of sparks and it was beautiful. These fireworks are awesome.

Well I lied on my back and propped my feet up. I was content. From the other side of the lagoon a nerdy boy came over. He talked to the Asian man and told him he would lend him another book. I felt a little bad for him because I see that the two were probably friends, and the boy might think that I am stealing his favor away from the Asian man. The boy is a total nerd though. Pimples, geeky hair, big nose, glasses, tie, and a squeaky voice.

I'm not really sure what happened after that.

The Evil Corporation - 2004/02/15

I just made it to work at the company I work for in my dream, a large corporation called 'Transparent' that was involved in many different enterprises. My job there was the same as real life, computer programming. I didn't know it yet, as my carpool pulled into the snowy parking lot, but today was going to be a very bad day.

I walked into work and over to my desk to see that none of my coworkers were there yet. In fact, the entire building seemed awfully empty. I looked around and saw that the auditorium was packed and that there was a big meeting going on. I over heard a few words like firings, lay-offs, and cloning. I didn't understand what cloning had to do with lay-offs, but that would explain why the building was so empty. I wondered if I still had a job, or had nobody told me that I was fired too?

I watched the meeting closely. The speaker was a very evil looking man. He said the company was being put into a new direction to make it do much better financially. His opposition was a beautiful brown haired woman in her late twenties. She said that his changes were too radical and dangerous, and the company shouldn't listen to him. However, it seemed that the people were favoring the evil looking man over the pretty woman.

One of the evil man's policies is that there will no longer be creative thinking. Everyone will have to look and act the same way, nobody will be able to come up with new ideas. This made me start thinking that maybe I didn't want to work here anymore after all. Especially if they won't let me come up with new ideas, that's one of the things I like most about working.

I walked down the empty hallway towards my desk. It's darker than normal, there are only a few lights left on because there isn't anybody to use them anymore. I enter the entrance way of the building which has a very high ceiling. On a platform near the ceiling looking down is the evil man. He is preaching that clones are the wave of the future. He says that the company will do much better if we replace all the different thinking humans with clones who will all think and act the same way. It will improve the company and the name will be changed to 'See Through'.

There is no way I'd work here anymore. As I was leaving I saw the pretty woman imprisoned in a see through box in a wall. She looked like she was in pain, but she wasn't moving. I wanted to get her out but I didn't know what to do. I went to look for a way to save her.

I saw a strange room that I'd never seen before, so I went in hoping to find a way to get the woman out. Inside it was dark except for a light in the center where I saw a small child in some sort of incubator. There were buttons, switches, and lights all over it.

The child inside had the body of a little boy but the face of an middle-aged man. The boy saw me and introduced himself, it was a bit unnerving at how intelligent he was for a little boy, he spoke just like any adult would. I asked him what was going on and he told me that all the people of the company were being replaced by clones because they were more efficient. He said that he was a clone and so were the evil man and pretty woman. He said that they were the first clones, the prototypes.

I felt a little upset. I didn't want the woman to be a clone and yet I found it impressive that she was trying to stop the evil man from making more clones.

The boy had a evil looking grin and said that the nurse was coming. This made me feel like something bad was going to happen. The 'nurse' was actually a little robot. It entered the room and went over the the boy's incubator. As soon as the robot saw me everything went wrong. "Intruder," it shouted. Great, this is all I need.

It told me not to move and tried to hold onto me, but I kicked it away. Then it changed into a slightly larger robot which looked a little more dangerous. It now had blades and red eyes. I started to run out of the room and it chased me. I kicked it again, only to see it get even bigger. It now was bipedal and running after me. It grabbed me, but I threw it to the floor and kept running. Then, it turned into this large dinosaur-like robot. It chased me even more, but I was able to hide in a large janitor's locker room.

As soon as I made it inside, I was terrified. There were several large gray trash cans, each of them were filled with chunks of human bodies all dripping with blood. The chopped up bodies were still wearing their work clothes. I guess this is where the missing workers went. I had to walk through them to hide from the robot. It seemed as if the bodies were closing in on me and the floor was slippery from all the blood. I saw a head sticking out of a can, it's lifeless eyes staring directly at me.

I finally made it past the bodies and hid behind them. I hoped that the robot didn't know where I was. I heard some noise on the other side of the locker room and saw a pipe spraying water onto the floor which quickly turned into ice. There were several children and lots of adults without legs playing hockey.

Another tiny nurse robot finds me and tells me that I need my legs removed. It calls for the doctor to perform the operation. The 'doctor' was actually three young men that looked identical, obviously clones. The first one approaches me and shoves his black fingernails into my chest. He looks into my eyes and tells me that I want to lose my legs.

Perhaps his fingernails are injecting a mind controlling liquid, but I begin to feel that I need to have my legs removed. None of the hockey players try to stop them. One of the legless adults is laughing and says that I can be like him without legs. I see a woman without legs and she tells me that she happier now. I look at her and ask if she is serious. She quickly looks sad, and says 'no'.

This gives me strength to start fighting them. I trash out at the doctor and his fingernails are forced out of me. I fight him and pull out a lighter and try to burn him. The fire gets into his hair and he immediately bursts into flames. He bumps into the other two doctors who also burst into flames. At last, I've found their weakness, I can fight them. I'll lead the surviving workers into a revolt against the clones.

Then I woke up, but the dream wasn't really finished. I think I know what would have happened though. I would save the woman, destroy the corporation, and kill the evil man. That's how it always happens in the movies, so why not my dreams?

Dogs and Car Theft - 2004/01/30

I was nice and sunny out, some time in the summer. For some reason, I decided I wanted to go back to school. So I drove my car to my old high school (which is a middle school now, but it was still a high school in my dream). I parked in the lot, and walked into the school. I wandered around for awhile saying 'hi' to people, and chatting with old teachers. I'm really not sure why I was there at all.

Well, the novelty wore off and I didn't want to be there anymore, so I walked out. A friend walked with me to the parking lot where my car was to find that it had been broken into. Well, even worse, both the hood and trunk had been stolen. I looked inside to see everything missing. I remember having my TV in there, as well as a lot of CDs, and my bike (I don't own a bike).

I was so mad I had been robbed! I called the parking lot security (which was the same old drunk who worked there when I went to school) and he said that he hadn't seen anything. I was furious! How the heck couldn't he see someone removing large pieces of my car? It's not the kind of thing you can do discreetly! I figured he had to be in on the theft. I was so mad, I slammed the door, which caused all the other doors to fall off my car.

The guy left, so I called the police. While I was waiting for them I looked in my car and saw my CD case! They must have missed it. I opened it up to see that all the CDs were gone, except for a few that the thieves didn't want. I was even more mad at this! They took the time to sift through my CDs?

The police filed a report, but there was nothing more they could do. So My friend and I decided we would go looking for the thieves.

My friend and I picked up another friend and the three of us went to a park with a thick wooded area a few miles away to search. It was remote and they might have hid my stuff there. We began going through the trails and I was on a bike (which was stolen wasn't it?). As we made our way through the trail I noticed something odd about it. There was a ceiling. I didn't remember a ceiling on the hiking trail. Then it hit me. All the vegetation that covered the ceiling must have died away last winter, so now the ceiling is visible (somehow, in a dream that sort of thinking makes sense).

My friend made his way ahead of me and saw several younger people ahead. We were hidden from view, we wanted to check them out before letting them see us. They were mostly children ranging from about 10 to 18. They seemed to be walking their dogs. We walked out to them and said 'hi'. They seemed a little uneasy that we were there. Their dogs were mostly happy to see us, they all jumped on us and licked our faces.

We kept walking and saw two large wooden structures. They looked like really big jungle-gyms. They had ropes and pillars and other strange devices. I asked one of the older boys what they were and he said they were obstical courses for his school. I asked him which school he went to and he said 'Clemens' (the only city in Michigan with a similar name is Mount Clemens, which is a few hours drive away). I didn't remember that school nearby, so I thought it must be new.

Well, we were getting nowhere with this so we left. I was alone now driving my car down the road without doors, a hood, or a trunk. I stopped at a fast-food place and got strange looks (didn't they know I had been robbed?). I went to my parent's house and told them what happened. They didn't offer any help.

Then, for some reason, there was a family reunion at my uncle's house. I drove there and was greeted by his dogs in the driveway. They were all nice and jumped to lick my face. I walked in and said 'hi' to my relatives... And I can't remember anything after that.

Theft, Women, and Church - 2004/01/28

It started at my father's house. But, it wasn't his house in real life, only in this dream. Anyway, My older brother, my father, and I were sitting at a small round table. There was a little day-light coming in from a window shining on the smoke from my father's cigarette.

I'm not sure why, but I didn't have a shirt, and I needed one. My father let me borrow one of his. It was a sports shirt that was dark brown, with gold lettering. I put it on and really liked it.

Eventually, my brother and I left my father's house. We were walking down the side of the expressway when several cop cars showed up. The cops got out of their cars to do something, but I couldn't really see what it was. My brother suggested that we steal two cop cars, so we did. We were driving away down the expressway and every so often we would pass another cop car. I remember thinking that they just thought we were another cop, and didn't do anything. We ended up driving to the airport.

At the airport we decided we were going to take flying lessons. We walked in and talked to some people. I decided that I didn't want flying lessons, so I went back to the parking lot, and saw my real car in the parking lot. I got in and drove away, but I had to stop soon after to get gas.

At the gas station I filled up my tank and went inside to pay. The guy at the counter asked me which pump I was at. I looked outside by a large camper was blocking my view, so I guessed at the number. Then he asked for my last name to verify, and I gave it to him. I handed him the money and thought it was strange that he needed my name to figure it out. Then he handed my a large paper form and told me it was my tax information for gas. He said a new governmental law made everyone have to fill out long forms every year for all the gas they bought.

I was mad at the government for something as stupid as this, and as I was pondering if he had given me the right forms, a woman walked up the the counter. She was pretty, had dark hair and a few inches taller than me. She stood at the counter right next to me to pay for her gas. As she waited for change she noticed me looking at her and smiled. I thought, I should really talk to her, but she's so tall, I'd feel uncomfortable.

She started walking out and I heard her shoes making noise as she walked. She had really tall heels on. So, she really was my height or less. I knew I should talk to her now, but she was gone. I was mad at myself for not saying anything to her. I got back in my car and drove away.

For some reason I decided to go back to my father's. When I got there he saw the shirt that I was wearing and said that he used to have a shirt like mine. I didn't feel like telling him that it was his shirt, because I liked it too much. My father then decides he wants to go to church, and I have to go with him.

When we get there my father sits down, but I don't want to sit next to him, so I move to a corner where I see people around my age. Amazingly, there are several people from my old high school there. Most of them were bullies and/or jocks. I go to an empty seat and begin to sit down, but one of the kids moves to where I was going to sit. I move to sit in another spot, but he moves again to that spot. Wow, this guy's a riot.

Then I see the dark haired woman from the gas station sitting in the front row. I walked over to sit by her, but the jerk keeps preventing me from sitting. I decide to out smart him by pretending to sit away from the girl, and as he moves, I quickly moved towards her and finally sat down.

She smiled at me, and I got the nerve to talk to her, just as I was beginning to start talking, I woke up. That sucked.

Terrible Decisions - 2003/11/18

It seems that a bunch of large animals like buffalo, elephants, elk, etc. are all stampeding in a city that resembles an area of Detroit. The animals are breaking open store windows and crushing cars, and all that fun stuff. This has caused rioting and plenty of theft. There are no police anywhere to be seen.

I've heard about this from someone, who also tells me that there is a man who is at the place of the stampede and has taken all the guns and ammo from the sporting goods stores so nobody else can get them. The man is a good guy though, and he fires his gun into the air to scare away the thieves.

Myself and several other people arrive at the place, which is above an overpass above I-75. We meet the man with all the guns and he gives each of us a rifle.

Over the course of the day I had to shoot both animals and people alike to prevent the city from being totally destroyed. I didn't want to do it, but I had no choice.

After the last of the animals and people were stopped there was silence as we surveyed the wrecked city. I heard a mild whimper on the other side of the overpass. I went over to the noise and saw two old black Labradors. Both of them were in a great deal of pain and slowly dying. I decided the humane thing to do for them was to put them out of their misery. The man who had all the guns came over and understood what I was going to do. He said he would hold the dogs and I told me to shoot them. I approached the first dog, and told him that I was going to put him to sleep. I found it very difficult to talk to him as he looked at me. He seemed to understand, so I took aim to shoot. I didn't really know where the best spot to shoot the dog was so that it would kill it instantly, so the man told me where to shoot. I pulled the trigger and the dog was dead. Then I spoke to the next dog. I pet it and it licked my face, and I explained to it that I was going to take away it's pain. The man held it, and I shot it as well.

I was in tears. I felt so bad that I had to kill the two dogs, but I knew that it was the best thing I could do for them. After that the men and I piled into a van and left to go home.

We were driving north on I-75 just passing Josleyn Road. It was now dark and cloudy. The people in the van were now my aunt, uncle, and three cousins. My uncle was telling me that I needed to work on my gun because it wasn't very good.

I looked out the window at the full moon. My aunt told me that there were earthquakes and that a great evil was awoken in the center of the Earth, and that is why the moon was turning black. I continued to watch the moon and sure enough it was getting much darker. It was as if clouds were covering all it's light. Slowly it became light again.

We were now driving down Clarkston road, but it looked a lot different than usual. There were lakes on either side of the road with cattails growing along the edges as well. It was raining very heavily, but it was light as day out. My aunt suggested that I go to a certain park to get shooting practice, but my uncle told her that they don't allow guns at that park anymore. She says "that must be the reason why I hear bird calls there now". I suggested Pontiac Lake Trails Park, because hunting is legal there.

I looked where we were driving, and saw two ducks in the road, a drake and a mallard. We drove right over them, but they fit under the van and were safe. My cousin turned the van and we jumped off the end of the road over the lake. I heard my uncle say something like "This is supposed to be a parking lot", but instead we plummeted into a deep lake.

My cousin was knocked unconscious by the shock. My two other cousins were okay, but I think my aunt and uncle were unconscious as well. I was then faced with the decision of who I would help get out of the van and who would remain to drown. The longer I took to decide the harder it would be to get out. We were sinking deeper. It was getting darker.

Then I woke up... It was raining outside.

Thin Ice - 2003/08/27

I awoke at 4:10 AM this morning. I have no idea why, but I promptly fell back to sleep. Then the dreaming began.

It started out in the living room of a trailer I used to live in. I was there along with some random guy and an attractive woman. The woman was on the other side of the room and she was flirting with me. I decided to walk closer to her, but then I noticed that the floor was actually thin ice above an unknown body of water.

Cautiously, I made my way over to her and we started making out in front of the guy. The guy wasn't too pleased with our actions, but we didn't care.

Just then I realized that I was late for the kickboxing tournament! I put on my Queen shirt (because that would make me look dangerous) and left the place and started walking to the tournament.

The tournament ended up taking place at a church I used to go to. I walked in and recognized a few people and got in line for the tournament.

When it was my time to fight I got up on the padded mat we were fighting on and saw my opponent was an old man. Then I realized that I have never kickboxed before and that I have no idea what to do.

In a bit of a panic, I ran up and kicked the old man several times really quickly.

I'm not sure if I won the tournament or not, because I was now at my aunts house. I was in her guest bedroom in bed trying to sleep. However, my friend Dave is there and he is telling me all about his last Dungeons and Dragons adventure. I keep telling him that I'm tired and trying to sleep, but he keeps talking. Eventually, he leaves but now I'm wide awake (in the dream that is). So, I look out the window to try and find something to make me think about nothing.

Outside is cold and gray. There is snow on the ground. There are two small ponds behind the house (but not in real life) and they are both covered with ice.

I see an old woman wearing winter clothes in a small rubber boat paddling her way across the top of the ice. I think that the ice won't hold her for very long, and sure enough, the ice cracks and the old lady falls in.

I quickly get out of bed and run outside, shouting to Paula (who lives in California) to call an ambulance because someone just fell into the pond out back. I run outside to where the old lady is and grab her arm and pull her out of the pond. It turns out that the old lady is actually a drunk middle-aged man.

The man thanks me, he's dripping wet with icy water. I tell him that an ambulance is coming to help him. He looks frightened when I say that, and starts walking away. I find it odd that he's in such a hurry to leave, so I convince him that we should pull the boat out of the pond as well. Being sure to take my time, I attach a rope to the boat and we haul it out.

It's now getting dark. The drunk starts walking away again. The ambulance finally arrives and the paramedics rush to the back yard and ask me where the person is (one of the paramedics is a guy that was at the kickboxing tournament). I point to the drunk who is a few hundred feet away. They run out to him. Some people wrap a blanket around me and we wait for them to return. As they walk back the drunk man is wearing handcuffs. Apparently, he was a criminal.

For some reason, I'm now in the upper balcony of a theater, and the musical RENT is playing. Although I can't see it, I can hear the music. Several people in the balcony are singing along as well. I recognize them as the people I saw when I was at the church for the kickboxing tournament.

They are just as bummed as I am because they can't see the stage, so I convince them to put on a RENT musical at their church, which they do. I make it to their production, and get to watch it. (If you've ever seen RENT, you know it's not something you would usually see performed in church!)

And that's all I can remember from it.

The Closer Gas Station - 2003/06/25

I'm standing on top of a tower looking down on a large valley. The valley is surrounded a by forest that goes on in all directions. In the middle of the valley is a small pond.

From my vantage point I see a small white island in the pond. The island was made using a graphics program, because I created this world as some sort of virtual reality game. The island is in the shape of an arrow that points to an area of the forest. I recognize this as the direction I should travel to leave the valley.

I leave the tower and start heading through the forest in the direction of the arrow. Eventually, I come across an old two-lane highway. There is a stream running under it. At this time I realize that I'm thirsty, of course I don't drink from the stream, that would be logical.

I look to the north I see old abandoned fields that were at one time used for growing corn. The dead crops are dusty and brown. To the south I see an old gas station that appears to still be in use. I think that I should remember this, because it's a lot closer than the other gas station I go to. I don't know why I thought that, because there weren't any other gas stations in the dream.

Anyway, I enter the large gas station and it looks mostly empty except for a woman behind the counter. I walk towards the back and see a red bottle of pop with the name "Sunkist", which is odd, because Sunkist is orange. Anyway, I grab two of them, but for some reason I feel the need to hold one in my teeth. My teeth crack the bottle and it begins dripping all over the white tiled floor.

I put the other bottle back and grab some paper towels and put the cracked bottle in my mouth and attempt to drink the pop at the same time I'm cleaning the floor that way nothing more is spilled.

As I'm cleaning I notice the store clerk appears to be getting ready to close the gas station. She starts turning off lights and closing doors and the usual stuff. I quickly try to clean up the mess so I don't have to keep her behind, but she is really rushing.

I clean even faster and I'm almost finished, but she keeps going even faster. I think that she wouldn't leave with me still inside, but then I realize that she may not have seen me come in. If she leaves, then the alarm will be set and people might think I'm trying to break into the store. I'd have to remain still all night so I wouldn't set off the motion detectors. So I rush really quickly and I clean up the last of the mess, and start towards the door.

She's setting the alarm and walking outside and... I wake up.

It's 4:00 AM. I write down this dream so I can remember it later, and realize that I'm still thirsty. I go and get some water and go back to bed.

The Romantic Thief - 2003/05/31

I'm in a major city, I'm not sure which one. If you know me well, you'll know that I'm not in my element in cities, thus I'm rather intimidated by them. I've just bought some normal tourist garbage which I'm holding, but the only thing that stands out is a yellow flower.

So, I'm underground walking my way topside with hundreds of other people all around. Ahead of me, walking towards me, I see a young dark-haired woman dressed in goth/punk clothing. She's wearing the typical heavy eye-makeup and all black. I smile at her and she bumps my shoulder with hers and smiles as she walks past. When I get near the stairs to the surface, I see her again.

She's holding a yellow flower and she hands it to me. "Here," she says. It's then I notice that I don't have -my- flower anymore. She had stolen it when she bumped into me. "It's not much of a gesture to give me something that's already mine," I say to her. "Oh," she says, "then wait here."

A few minutes later she returns with another yellow flower. "So you stole me someone elses?" I couldn't help but be impressed. She smiles and walks up very close to me and whispers into my ear, "Meet me at the elevator." Then she walks off.

Of course, in real life I'd have no idea what she was talking about, but thank goodness for the dream world, because instantly I was outside a huge towering building. I walked my way in towards the elevator.

Unlike normal buildings, where the elevator is a small cramped space, this elevator was a huge room. Glass walls on all sides, plants, lounge chairs, sofas, carpeted floors, it was more like a rich penthouse than an elevator. There were many people inside of it and at the top of a few steps where the switch board was, I saw the young woman. She had changed clothes into something much more conservative, but still very attractive.

She noticed me climb the steps to her. Then she pressed the button labeled roof. "Hold on," she said to me. Hold on? I didn't understand what she meant, but then suddenly the elevator started moving. It began to move fast, very very fast! It spiraled upward at a break neck speed. I almost fell back down the steps but I was able to grab hold of the banister. The other people in the elevator were being thrown about and painfully smashing against the floor.

The ascent finally started to get smoother and I could see the horizon through the windows. "I want you to see the view from the top," she spoke to me, "we still have awhile before me make it to the roof. Why don't you tell me about yourself? What are you interested in?" I explain to her that I like movies, books, music, computers, nature, and all sorts of different hobbies. She tells me that she just adores fashion. She watches all the fashion shows and follows all the stock of fashion companies, and continued to talk about different aspects of the fashion industry.

I told her that I didn't really follow fashion very much, but she just continued to go on explaining about the different companies in the fashion industry. As she talked, she hadn't noticed that we had made it to the roof. It was then obvious to me that this woman was certainly not my style, but I didn't want to just interrupt her little speech. I was trying to be patient, but the woman just wouldn't stop talking. I tried to look out from my vantage point, but I could only see the sky, so I kept trying to move around a little bit until... I woke up.

I was certainly disappointed. I wanted to fall back asleep just so I could look out the window, but it was not happening. What a shame.

The Strange Bus Stop and Fire at Work - 2003/05/23

This is second time I've had a dream about this strange bus stop. I don't remember when I had it before. It may have even been the same night, but I know I've had a dream with this same place. Anyway, it goes like this:

I'm on a bus traveling at a slow pace down a road surrounded by trees. It's very warm out, and the area is semi-tropical. The bus doesn't have any glass in its windows and the breeze from outside makes its way in. I'm sitting in the back seat of the bus, looking out behind where we've driven. The back seat is setup backwards, so it's always facing outside.

We finally come to the bus stop. However, unlike normal bus stops that are just simply on the side of the road, this bus stop is an entire building. The bus drives through the large garage door and makes its way into the building. There are people walking around in the building which also has information desks, news stands, shelves of books and pamphlets, potted plants, carpeted floors, a small cafe, etc. It looks like the lobby of a nice hotel only with a lot more people.

The bus finally comes to a stop and people start to get off. I make my way to the front of the bus to leave, but the driver tells me that "my kind" can not get off at this bus stop. When he says "my kind" I assume he means people of my social significance, but there are people who are just as blue collar as me getting off. So I make my way to the back of the bus and sit down. As the bus starts up moving again either curiosity or just the sense of rebellion gets the best of me and I hop out the back window. The bus drives on out the door without me.

I then start wandering around at the place where "my kind" isn't supposed to be. It's very exciting. People making their way here and there. Some standing in lines in front of desks, others buying and selling mundane objects. The people are somewhat scattered in their walks of life. Some business men, some factory workers, families, etc. At a seat in the cafe I see a beautiful young woman surrounded by people who are obviously hanging on her every word. She is the typical blonde-haired, blue-eyed bombshell you always hear about.

I continue walking around and approach a book shelf. I'm amazed at the works that I see. Literary classics in their original editions, heavy leather bound tomes, small paper-backs written in strange symbols and odd letters.

I eventually make my way to one of the information desks and a dark-haired, middle-aged woman recognizes me. "What are you doing here again?" she asks me. It's then that I realize that I have been to this place before. I remember that this place is a magical place, that doesn't really exist in real life. The woman takes my hand and begins to guide me somewhere. She tells me that I can't stay here, that it's dangerous if I remain here too long.

I remember that there is something odd about the people here from the last time I had this dream, and I ask her "They aren't really people are they?" "No, they are other beings who are on a journey, right now they waiting for the next bus." I look again at the people and see them all as very strange shapes and figures. They no longer resemble humans at all. Then, shortly after, they fade back into humans. "What just happened?" I ask the woman. "Because you find it difficult to think that there are any other creatures other than humans in the world, they appear to you as something non-threatening, just another human. When you make the choice to see them as they really are, then you see them for what they are. Just like this bus stop isn't really a bus stop."

We keep walking and pass the cafe. I glance over as the young woman again. The older woman sees me staring and says with a grin, "You know she's only thirteen?" I look again at her, but she still looks to be about twenty-five. "No way! She can't possibly be thirteen!" The woman then tells me "It's strange for your kind to judge age in the physical sense. It's not important at all. In the age of wisdom and emotions she is only thirteen." I then look back at the young woman and see her slightly differently. She still looks the same, but no longer has the same allure.

We make our way to a large square door in a less used section of the building. The door is about six feet by six feet and very smooth. The woman pulls out a key an unlocks the door. "You must hurry. Although time doesn't move when you're in here, if you stay too long you'll never be able to leave. I look down at my wrist-watch and see it ticking away just as normal. "Time is still moving," I say to her. The woman giggles and tells me, "It's very cute how you think that time must be moving just because your mechanical watch is." I then think about how stupid I must have sounded to say that.

She opens the door and tells me to walk through it. As soon as I take a step through, there is a blinding white flash, and I'm at the front door to my work.

So I walk up to the door and a co-worker informs me that there has been a fire. I walk inside and see that most of the room is still intact. However, all around my desk and work area is charred and blackened. I slowly walk up to my desk and see that everything has been damaged or destroyed. I attempt to turn on my computer, but it's fried. All of the recent work I've done has been destroyed. Out of frustration, I smash the remains of the computer with my fist several times.

My boss then walks up behind me and begins to question me. He asks if I had a candle burning, or if I left a cigarette lit before I left. Why I would have a candle at work is very strange and why a non-smoker would have cigarettes is even stranger. Then several firemen come in and start asking me questions as well. They tell me that they aren't accusing me, it just seems strange that my work area was the only area that caught fire before the sprinkler system turned on. They are unable to find a cause of the fire until they did a more through examination.

Two odd things to mention. One: My desk was in the wrong spot at work. Two, my work doesn't have a sprinkler system.

Anyway, so the work day is basically over and I find myself at school. Not at college, but at high school (I graduated in 1998, odd). Every so often a person comes up to me and says "I heard you burned down your work!" Each time I hear it I get more and more annoyed. When at last one person comes up to me and says "I heard you burned down your work." I turn around and grab the persons face and tell him that if he says anything else I'll bite off his nose! And I put his nose in my mouth and put my teeth on it. Assuming I'm joking the person gets ready to say something else, but I bite down a little bit to prove that I'm not joking. The person gets very scared, struggles, and I let him go. Nobody else talked about the fire at my work after that.

The next day I'm informed that the firemen found the cause of the fire and that it was do to faulty wiring. Which I had nothing to do with.

And that is my dream sequence for this morning.

My New House - 2003/05/16

It seems I no longer live in my apartment in Grand Blanc. I got a new house back in Clarkston on the same road as my parents. I may have known the previous residents of the house, but I only knew of them, not what they were like.

I had trusted my roommate to pick out a good house and make sure it was nice and clean. I had given her full authority over my money to buy it.

It was a nice sunny day out when I finally arrived. I walked up to the front porch and saw a large pile of utensils and tools on it. There were forks, knives, saws, wrenches and all sorts of other things. They had recently been cleaned because I could smell the scent of some type of cleaning solution on them. I took them inside with me and placed them on the kitchen counter.

I looked around the inside of the house and the previous residents had left behind tons of stuff including a nice TV, all their furnisher, a fully stocked refrigerator, and two dogs. The layout of the house was similar to my dad's old house.

The dogs were very different. One was a large dog the like a rottwheiler who would always get in the way when you were walking. The other dog was smaller and reminded me of Eddie from the TV show Frasier. He was really cool.

The house was actually really nice, but the only thing I didn't like about it was that it had a really small back yard. Oh well, you can't have everything.