TAG's Guide to Perfect Programming

Don't you hate it when people are looking through your code? Don't you wish that it were impossible for others to read it? Well use this tried and true method of programming, to insure that not a single person alive can read your code, including you!

  • Remarks are the tools of Satan! Never use them!
  • Don't put blank spaces in between major chunks of code, they just waste space.
  • Don't bother with long variable names when a simple A, B, or C will do the trick even faster.
  • And make sure the variable name has nothing to do with what it represents. If the variable holds a name, call it Q.
  • Hungarian Notation? Oh puh-leeze!
  • tYpE yOr CoDe In 1334! iT mAkEs YoU a kewl d00d!
  • Try and fit as many lines of code on one line as possible. This is easy for you C format coders. Just put the semi-colon, but don't hit enter. BASIC coders can just put a colon and keep typing.
  • Don't call methods more than once. If you need to reuse it, just make a new one everytime.
  • Always make your if statements one line. (if{}elseif{}else{}) Don't worry about blocking it.
  • Nothing is better than one GIANT nested while...loop with a couple hundred for...loops and switches in it.
  • Indent? Why Indent? What a waste of time!
  • Don't bother with breaking up code into methods. Just make one BIG method with lots of if checks.
  • For you BASIC coders, I can't stress this enough. Line numbers!
  • Overload your methods as much as possible and try to make a property, method, and event all with the same name!

By using this great method, you guarantee that not a person alive could read your code!