Bruces' Philospher's Song
Bruces' Philospher's Song is a Monty Python drinking song written by Eric Idle and originally released as track 5 on the album The Monty Python Matching Tie and Handkerchief, although it plays off on an earlier sketch "Bruces" from Monty Python's Flying Circus. The setup of the song is that there are four men, all named Bruce, who teach in the philosophy department at the University of Woolloomooloo, a fictitious Australian University. Despite having an unsophisticated demeanor, and a penchant for heavy drinking, the four Burces are quite skilled at philosophy. Idle shows off his education of various philosophers, as well as his ability to write catchy drinking songs. This is one of those songs that I actively tried to, and enjoyed, memorizing.
Immanuel Kant was a real pissant who was very rarely stable. Heidegger, Heidegger was a boozy beggar who could think you under the table. David Hume could out-consume Wilhelm Freidrich Hegel. And Wittgenstein was a beery swine who was just as schloshed as Schlegel. There's nothing Nietzsche couldn't teach ya 'bout the raising of the wrist, Socrates, himself, was permanently pissed. John Stuart Mill, of his own free will, On half a pint of shandy was particularly ill. Plato, they say, could stick it away, Half a crate of whiskey every day. Aristotle, Aristotle was a bugger for the bottle, And Hobbes was fond of his dram. And Rene Descartes was a drunken fart, "I drink, therefore I am." Yes, Socrates himself is particularly missed, A lovely little thinker, but a bugger when he's pissed.
- youtube.com/watch?v=8mgE5gSvrzk - Audio of Eric Idle performing the song live.