Breaking Out
2006/02/24


Every day is the same a routine,
A perpetuation of stasis.
I'm racing no where and I lead the pack.
Don't need to worry about tomorrow,
when you know it will be the same as today...
yesterday... and every day before.

I want to break out,
I want to break in,
To something new, something changin'.
I want a new someone and where
I don't want just another day in the life.

I want to escape,
I want to let go.
I want to run blind through the streets,
Until they ask what's wrong with me.
Well, what's wrong with you?

I want to get in my car and drive,
And play that burning song,
And hear those screaming chords,
And burn and scream along,
Until I bleed from every pore,
Until I cry out my last tear.

What I seek is out there.
I can feel it deep inside.
This wanderlust can't lie.
I'm leaving, I'm changing this time.
My chains can hold me no longer.

I'm tired of myself,
I'm tired of alone.
I want to masquerade as someone else tonight.
I want to get into a fight.
I want to break something precious.

I want something different tonight.


I wrote this last Friday night. At the time I felt stuck in a routine, as the poem blatantly suggests. I was debating whether I should just stay home on a Friday night and do the same crap I do every other night, but I felt a sense of determination to break out of the weekly grind. This poem was written and it inspired me to get dressed and leave my boring apartment, even if I had no real place to go. During the drive I blared Eve 6, in particular "Open Road Song", which really made me feel alive.

My life is fairly stagnant right now, but actually less than it was when I was younger. From the time I wake up until 6 PM my day is pretty much identical on every weekday, but the time after that is where I have all the freedom to do what I want (provided it takes less than six hours). This poem lists some of the things that I feel like doing when I'm in this mood like singing in the car on a road trip, getting into a fight for the sole purpose of getting hurt and feeling the pain, or being reckless in contrast to my usual cautious demeanor.

The desire to break out of the grind is a feeling that everyone gets in their life so I'm sure anyone who reads this can relate in some way.